Well, the surgery is not for me..it's for my fiance. He's 28, 5'10 and about 375 lbs. I've been researching this for a while now and we finally went to an info session at the hospital tonight. We're interested in the lap band because it seems a lot safer but after researching and seeing some posts on here...I'm kind of discouraged. I've seen a lot of people say they've only lost like 40 lbs in a year. I've learned that it's an extremely slow process and for some people it doesn't even work.

At this point, I'm still going to encourage him to get it done because it's better than nothing! I was just thinking that there would definately be good results but now I'm finding that that's not always the case.

I would just hate for him to go through all this and end up not getting good results or any results at all...or having complications and having to remove the band. I know that (with my help), he will follow all the diet/excercise rules though.

I know I'm jumping to conclusions before we've even started anything but I just got really discouraged after lurking around here.. :phanvan

Well..he's got like a 30 page booklet to fill out and return to the dr before anything gets started so we'll see what happens I guess. I will try to be a little more optimistic about it.

As our journey begins, I'm sure I'll come around here often to chat and get advice..it seems like a really informative place.

Destiny

28, 5'10", 375 you may not be able to life insurance for him, he may not see 40 years old. But if he were to loose 40 pounds a year for 4 years then he would be 32, 5'10, 215 a good risk for insurance, live to 75 and be much happier along the way. You will need to consider that he may be a target of other womens desires, but I feel you will be able to handle that.

Best wishes on a long life of happyness for both of you.

I think with water intake and exercise along with his band his chances are good. You have to weigh his chance of a stroke against this surgery complications.

good luck

edie

So very worth it. I wish that we could give lap bands to everyone that is morbidly obese, it is a real life saver. This is the kindest, Most sane thing I have ever done for myself.

Like Jack, Im off my cpap, minus 4 heart prescriptions, and I am so happy.

My vote is "definitely worth it"!

If you are unsure of the negatives of the lapband surgery, try writing a list with the negatives of surgery on one side of the paper and the negatives of being morbidly obese on the other side.

That should clear things up. You have to be brutally honest.

He is very young now...you have to consider what obesity will do in 10-20 years, IF he stays at this weight and does not continue to gain.

I think lapband surgery was the best health decision I've made...no blood pressure medication, much less pain in my joints (although the years of carrying around all that weight have taken a toll), and I am much more active and much, much happier!

I'm kind of discouraged. I've seen a lot of people say they've only lost like 40 lbs in a year. I've learned that it's an extremely slow process and for some people it doesn't even work.

40 lbs a year is not the average, it's people who - for whatever reason - are falling below the statistics.

I would say "extremely" slow process, but it is (usually) slower than other WLS alternatives. Mostly because a great many of the other options are malabsorptive procedures. Of course you're going to lose weight quickly, you're starving (in the medical sense of the word) and malnourished.

And yeah, for a VERY VERY small number of people it doesn't work, but this is true for every surgery I've heard of. There is an element of responsibility with the band, that some of the other procedures don't require, but I'll take that responsibility in exchange for the safety any day.

He's 28, 5'10 and about 375 lbs.

I was 29, 5'10 and 382. Now I'm 30, 5'10+, and 254. I have a long way to go still, but it has been more than worth it to me.

Your fiance needs to be the one signed on to LBT and asking the questions. He needs to demonstrate his interest and later perhaps his committment. You're telling him what you've found out is simply NOT going to work. My dear sweet wonderful loving caring supportive wife of 6 years watched in horror as I gained 10 pounds a year for each year we were married, saw me balloon to over 360 pounds, watched the man she loves do his absolute best to shorten his life by overeating and refusing to exercise, not willing to face the reality he was indeed killing himself. But nothing she could say or do would change my mind, until one day, she happened to mention a lap band seminar she saw advertised in the paper. To her utter surprise, I said "let's go"; we did, I signed up that day, weighed in at 364, elected to self pay, had surgery 10 days later.

Has it changed my life? Damn right it has! In fact, it has saved my life and hopefully added many years of longevity. I cannot put into words how much more positive my attitude has become. I am awed by the people her on LBT and am grateful beyond words for the information and support they have passed on to me. I feel a debt of gratitude to "pay it forward" and assist others considering being banded.

My advice: Tell your fiance you love him, you'll support him any way you can, but make it clear that you're really not interested in a short term relationship, i.e. anything less than 25+ years of marriage.

I'd be thrilled to pass along my experiences to him directly; feel free to have him PM me anytime.

Best decision I ever made! I would do it all again in a heartbeat!

Personally I was 373# about 6 years ago....and after decades of dieting and various professional help, my weight continued to be headed always upward...

36 months ago I was on 200 units insulin injection daily plus a handful of meds every day. I had 5 separate factors of co-morbidity. I was going blind due to complications of diabetes and high blood pressure.

Life was not pleasant. I went to various workshops and learned that 'dieting' etc gave me a 95% chance of continuing in the same way the previous 15 years had gone. With co=morbidity factors, that meant I was approximately 30 times more likely to hit the Big Lotto Mega Bucks Money Truck Home Delivery than I was to make it another 5 years in my life.

At 59, 5'11', 25 months ago I had Lap Band surgery.

Life is good. No insulin. No CPAP. etc.....

Good luck in your journey....

Was it really worth it???

Damn Right.

Jack, you gave me chills.

Destiny,

I applaud you for taking the time to research this procedure. I'm sorry to admit my own husband of 19 years didn't have a clue until he read the brochure while I was in surgery. I'm approaching my 6 month mark and have lost almost 40 pounds. I have a thyroid condition but am very satisfied so far and would do it again in a heartbeat. Even if it takes me another year to get to my goal, I feel I have added years to my life by getting extra weight off.

As mentioned before, complications do happen. Two of the five ladies who had their bands placed the same day as I did have already either had it removed or are in the process of having it adjusted due to slippage. However, I have not had any trouble other than my band was too tight for about 5 weeks. Now, I'm in a perfect spot where I can eat pretty much anything (smaller quantities) I want but am never hungry.

Good luck!

PatU

Average weight loss is 1-3 pounds per week (according to my doc)

so it could be anywhere from 50-150 lbs per year....

The people who seem to do the best are the ones that stick to a lower carb (Higher Protein) eating plan and exercise.....

Lots of factors can hinder a persons success...... IT IS NOT A MAGIC BULLET it is a lifestyle change.. I agree with others, he needs to make his decision, and both of you need to face the realities of a FORCED change.

I've been jumping through the insurance hoops and just found out today that I have to wait 11 weeks for my surgery......... worth the wait???

HELL YES!

Destiny,

I am one of those people for whom loss has been below the curve. I lost 16 pounds pre-op - and have lost only 35 pounds since the actual date of surgery.

I want you to know that I feel, maybe even more than the ones who have lost 90 pounds or more, that this is the best decision that I have ever made.

I know that I have only lost 35 pounds because I am still eating most of the foods that I love. Yes, I am eating less - but I still eat pizza, bread, Pasta and rice. I have enjoyed a year of what I call "a normal life".

For the first 9 mos I had hardly any restriction. I have never had any side effects, no reflux, only 1 PB (entirely my own fault) - not even much gas or anything. I feel extremely glad that I got to "work up to it" on the restriction.

I am the epitome of lazy and spoiled - I do NOT do deprivation - but I have still lost 52 pounds since Feb 2006. That is a Freakin' Miracle. I have eaten pretty much whatever I wanted for the last year - and I have lost 35 pounds since my surgery date.

For those who actually have discipline, For those who get restriction sooner, for those that exercise diligently, the loss is usually pretty consistent and fairly fast.

Yes, there are a FEW who have perfect restriction, who follow all the rules and exercise that have trouble losing. But the emphasis is FEW.

So, your Sweetheart's success is most likely going to be to be ENTIRELY up to him.

I second the person who said that your Sweetheart should be the one here asking the questions. It's FABULOUS that you are interested and supportive, but I know from experience that ONLY the person who has to lose the weight can motivate themselves to do it.

No matter how lovingly you put it, any attempts to motivate him on your part could be perceived as nagging. All you can really do is SUPPORT the decisions that he makes. You can NOT comment on what he is eating. You can NOT give him pointed looks if he picks up a cookie - but there is little that you can DO to motivate. Again, all you can do is support.

If HE is ready for this, I cannot recommend the surgery fervently enough. The band is unique due to the fact that it will wait around until you are ready to use it.

Right now, I am exercising more, eating better foods and taking overall better care of myself. These actions are beginning to reflect on my scale. I am so glad that I got THIS surgery - because even though I have pretty much flaked off for the last year, I am able to pick up on the plan right now, today, and continue on.

If I had the by-pass, I would have frittered away the window of opportunity to lose, probably stretched our my pouch and had numerous side effects and problems due to my non-compliance with the rules. Since I have the Band, I can just get my act together and lose some more weight.

How much is THAT worth?

I hope your Sweetheart is ready, and I hope he gets the band. I really believe that it has added years to my life already - and I will get more years with every pound I lose. He is far too young to weigh so much. If he carries that much weight forward thru the years, his body will be a wreck by the time he turns 40. The band will give him the tool to get this under control NOW - before the aging process starts to take it's toll.

Good luck to both of you!

LOVED that post ReneBean!

I'm considered a slow loser at 45 lbs in 8 months but I would do it again in a heartbeat. I can honestly say this has been the easiest 45 lbs I have ever lost, without hunger. He will be fine. He will do well if he follows the surgeon's dietary restriction and gets restriction by fills. Good luck.

Thank you all so much for your replies. I really appreciate it! I'm feeling a lot better about all this after reading your replies and checking out the "before & after" picture thread. I'm still kind of worried about the long term results because of all the reports of problems with the band..Plus it's still fairly new in the US. I'm just afraid that it doesn't last long. Has anyone ever really had the band for several years (15+)? I know I just need to take it one day at a time but it's hard not to think about these things.

Anyways..thanks again to you all for your encouragment. I'll keep you posted.

There are no guarantees, in anything. What will help him most is if he is totally committed to the process, with or without you. You can't do it for him. And you can't be disappointed in him if he doesn't lose weight on schedule. Your role in this is to learn as much as you can and then be supportive. His role is much bigger....to struggle through the plateaus, to learn an entirely new way of relating to food, to handle the physiological changes, the frustrations with fills, etc. It's not magic, and living with the band requires a HUGE learning curve. The rate of complications is actually very very low, but if you focus on the complications, you may be looking for a guarantee of success. Weight loss can and should so slow, to give the skin a chance to adapt, to give the body a chance to adapt. It's a marathon, not a sprint. And be sure to let him go to some meetings alone, so he can ask questions without you there. He's the one who has to make the decision and deal with a big change in his life.