Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

Wife doesn't want me to get surgery



Recommended Posts

Yes in the beginning bc he was listening to his dumb brothers that i would leave him.. when i told his bros where 2 go and told him i am doing it for us he then was 1000% behind me in my decision=

Sent from my DROID4 using RNYTalk

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

My husband says he's excited but I beg to differ. He should be happy for me because it's something I want to help me live longer. I don't take any medication no blood pressure, Cholesterol or Diabetes. But I am so scared of losing my life because of weight.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

My husband didnt even bother checking on me when i had surgery.... Talk about unsupportive! :(

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

In the begining my boyfriend wasn't very suppotyive of me getting what he called "elective surgery" But when he found out how informed I was he realized I didn't make this decision lightly. He was at the hospitalthe whole day of surgery and visited me every day I was in there. I am now down 114 lbs since May. 79lbs since surgery in August. It will be worth it and I hope she comes around.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

So despite the lack of support, do you regret your decision to do it?

I do not regret my decision, i had surgery in october and have lost 40lbs since.... I had to do what was best for me, sometimes in life you have to be selfish. if i would have listened to my husband i would still be obese and unhappy.... Listen to your heart, you do not want to have regrets later in life......

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I do not regret my decision' date=' i had surgery in october and have lost 40lbs since.... I had to do what was best for me, sometimes in life you have to be selfish. if i would have listened to my husband i would still be obese and unhappy.... Listen to your heart, you do not want to have regrets later in life......[/quote']

Couldn't had said it better my self. Except lost 84 pounds but now hubby can't get enough if me.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

It's sad to see partners (spouses, wives, husbands, boy/girlfriends) who cannot even show up at the hospital to see how you are doing, to offer their support.

My boyfriend has been part of this journey from the first seminar. He took time off from work to take care of me post op. He has been so caring and supportive, and makes sure I don't push myself. He makes sure I am getting all the liquids I need, he has taken care of all the housework and taken care of my cats. I couldn't ask for a better partner to share my life with. I feel so fortunate to have him in my life.

I agree with those who charge ahead - take care of yourself first. You want to be there for your kids and your family. You are brave to do it without the support that would make the journey that much more meaningful if your partner were there beside you. God bless you for being brave.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Stitch I am so happy you have had such support. That guy is a keeper no two ways about it. My Husband is very supportive also and I can't imagine him not being. But I would have still had the surgery even if he wasn't. I just would have probably made his life a bit miserable lol.

Fear of something happening to you is usually a lot of what is going on when a spouse or partner or even a family member is against you having surgery. They just remember any horror story they have ever heard and are afraid it is going to happen to you. My Husband new there were risks but he also knows the risks of my high blood sugars, high blood pressure and asthma. Like me he knew it was worth the risk to get healthy.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Obesity is a life-threatening disease that is the number two cause of preventable death in the U.S. No different in all of the ways that are important from any other disease. And the question you have to ask yourself when deciding on a treatment is what is the most effective option? Bariatric surgery is the most effective treatment known to medical science for treating obesity. Not by just a little, but by a huge margin. Diet and exercise for anyone with a BMI over 30 is a myth - it doesn't work. Doctors are just beginning to understand why it doesn't work but they've known for a long time that it is ineffective.

Sooner or later someone will likely tell you "it's the easy way out". Absolute nonsense spoken by someone who is ignorant of the facts. Treatment for a life-threatening disease is not a question of easy or hard. It's a question of effective.

Yes, there are risks as there are with any surgery. But the odds are overwhelmingly in your favor of having a successful, life-changing experience. And the risks of doing nothing are overwhelmingly against you.

Nuff said.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

My mother is still giving me a hard time about the surgery. Its been 11 days and shes still telling me how she "cant have her daughter being smaller than her". Rude

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • Aunty Mamo

      Iʻm roughly 6 weeks post-op this morning and have begun to feel like a normal human, with a normal human body again. I started introducing solid foods and pill forms of medications/supplements a couple of weeks ago and it's really amazing to eat meals with my family again, despite the fact that my portions are so much smaller than theirs. 
      I live on the island of Oʻahu and spend a lot of time in the water- for exercise, for play,  and for spiritual & mental health. The day I had my month out appointment with my surgeon, I packed all my gear in my truck, anticipating his permission to get back in the ocean. The minute I walked out of that hospital I drove straight to the shore and got in that water. Hallelujah! My appointment was at 10 am. I didn't get home until after 5 pm. 
      I'm down 31 pounds since the day of surgery and 47 since my pre-op diet began, with that typical week long stall occurring at three weeks. I'm really starting to see some changes lately- some of my clothing is too big, some fits again. The most drastic changes I notice however are in my face. I've also noticed my endurance and flexibility increasing. I was really starting to be held up physically, and I'm so grateful that I'm seeing that turn around in such short order. 
      My general disposition lately is hopeful and motivated. The only thing that bugs me on a daily basis still is the way those supplements make my house smell. So stink! But I just bought a smell proof bag online that other people use to put their pot in. My house doesn't stink anymore. 
       
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • BeanitoDiego

      Oh yeah, something I wanted to rant about, a billing dispute that cropped up 3 months ago.
      Surgery was in August of 2023. A bill shows up for over $7,000 in January. WTF? I asks myself. I know that I jumped through all of the insurance hoops and verified this and triple checked that, as did the surgeon's office. All was set, and I paid all of the known costs before surgery.
      A looong story short, is that an assistant surgeon that was in the process of accepting money from my insurance company touched me while I was under anesthesia. That is what the bill was for. But hey, guess what? Some federal legislation was enacted last year to help patients out when they cannot consent to being touched by someone out of their insurance network. These types of bills fall under something called, "surprise billing," and you don't have to put up with it.
      https://www.cms.gov/nosurprises
      I had to make a lot of phone calls to both the surgeon's office and the insurance company and explain my rights and what the maximum out of pocket costs were that I could be liable for. Also had to remind them that it isn't my place to be taking care of all of this and that I was going to escalate things if they could not play nice with one another.
      Quick ending is that I don't have to pay that $7,000+. Advocate, advocate, advocate for yourself no matter how long it takes and learn more about this law if you are ever hit with a surprise bill.
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • BeanitoDiego

      Some days I feel like an infiltrator... I'm participating in society as a "thin" person. They have no idea that I haven't always been one of them! 🤣
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • ChunkCat

      Thank you everyone for your well wishes! I totally forgot I wrote an update here... I'm one week post op today. I gained 15 lbs in water weight overnight because they had to give me tons of fluids to bring my BP up after surgery! I stayed one night in the hospital. Everything has been fine except I seem to have picked up a bug while I was there and I've been running a low grade fever, coughing, and a sore throat. So I've been hydrating well and sleeping a ton. So far the Covid tests are negative.
      I haven't been able to advance my diet past purees. Everything I eat other than tofu makes me choke and feels like trying to swallow rocks. They warned me it would get worse before it gets better, so lets hope this is all normal. I have my follow up on Monday so we'll see. Living on shakes and soup again is not fun. I had enough of them the first time!! LOL 
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • BeanitoDiego

      Still purging all of the larger clothing. This morning, a shirt that I ADORED wearing ended up on top. Hard to let it go, but it was also hard to let go of those habits that also no longer serve my highest good. Onward and upward!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×