Anyone else have a hard time getting support from spouse when you started the process?

I don't know if I could have made it through this without my wife's support. Many partners are afraid of being dumped after their partner has surgery. I have noticed the more weight I loose the more clingy my wife gets. I agree, that education is the key to getting people on board. Plus, you can tell your wife that as you get smaller other things get bigger!

ya Pauli you guys are lucky in that respect.... We all have to get boob jobs....lol!!!

Yeah... I keep telling her a lot will change. She has come a long way since I first made this post. I asked her to come meet the doc and he made her feel much better. Plus she has talked to a lot of people on her own which makes me feel good that she is taking that initiative. She knows how much I want this. And as far as the smaller/bigger topic... She is really looking forward to that lol

That is great to hear. I'm glad she is getting involved. Knowledge is everything. There is so much misunderstanding about the surgery.

My husband was so against it..he thinks its easy way out ..in the beginning he almost made me feel awful or guilty for even contemplating having RNY ..he said I don't wanna know anything about it!... Now he will say when's your surgery...and why do they make u go to so many doc appoints..he did tell me in the beginning he would be there for my surgery lol ..when I told him I would get someone to take me! He was & is just scared for me....he also says I'm not big enough:/ well I need to loose 100 pounds I think I'm big enough!!! Any who he is warming up to the idea ...I have an aunt who had it & is skin & bones & wrinkled..she didn't do what the doc said to do & after 10yrs looks 15-20 years older than she is , so therefore she is what he envisions with Rny patients ..my situation is just that he worries about me and I have come to understand that as well as he is beginning to understand I AM having the surgery !

Wow. I cannt believe how many spouses were unsupportive in the beginning and all the way through. That's awful. You would think that if you had to count on anyone your splice would be it. I'll say that I'll support anyone out there who doesn't have it. Its all about health and well being not to try to get someone else or be smaller than someone else. Good luck to everyone!

My husband was so against it..he thinks its easy way out ..in the beginning he almost made me feel awful or guilty for even contemplating having RNY ..he said I don't wanna know anything about it!... Now he will say when's your surgery...and why do they make u go to so many doc appoints..he did tell me in the beginning he would be there for my surgery lol ..when I told him I would get someone to take me! He was & is just scared for me....he also says I'm not big enough:/ well I need to loose 100 pounds I think I'm big enough!!! Any who he is warming up to the idea ...I have an aunt who had it & is skin & bones & wrinkled..she didn't do what the doc said to do & after 10yrs looks 15-20 years older than she is ' date=' so therefore she is what he envisions with Rny patients ..my situation is just that he worries about me and I have come to understand that as well as he is beginning to understand I AM having the surgery ! [/quote']

No matter what you do or how you loose the weight, fast or slow when you loose a 100+ pounds you are going to have loose skin. Look a a skinny woman who has a large baby, she will never have a truly tight stomach again! Good luck, you will be fine & he will too.

RNY @ 440lbs on 8/24/09

Now 207lbs and 10yrs older looking lol

Lowest 167lbs

No matter what you do or how you loose the weight' date=' fast or slow when you loose a 100+ pounds you are going to have loose skin. Look a a skinny woman who has a large baby, she will never have a truly tight stomach again! Good luck, you will be fine & he will too.

RNY @ 440lbs on 8/24/09

Now 207lbs and 10yrs older looking lol

Lowest 167lbs[/quote']

I completely agree & am aware that loose skin is an issue..she however did NOT exercise and did everything she was told NOT to do smokes like a chimney and lives off of mt dews..I have already started working on exercises to try to minimize the skin so we shall see...if I need some tweaking afterwords ill have it done..my hubby has already been made aware that I may have to have some tweaking lol

My husband don't support me at all

My husband doesnt support me either but im doing it with or without him

My husband at first would not let be get RNy, so 6 years ago I had lap band , now just had bypass in Jan as a revision had reflux so bad the last few years felt like a bulimic....my husband was ok with bypass this time,

ya Pauli you guys are lucky in that respect.... We all have to get boob jobs....lol!!!

Lmbo you got that right!

In the beginning my husband said ABSOLUTELY NOT!!! He did agree to go to a seminar with me for lapband. He had to work that day but he did go to my first consultation visit. The Dr was so nice and answered all his questions. After having EGD testing we found out I have a hiatal hernia and Barrett's esophagus! Now my only option is RNY. He is on board 100%! I was so worried. He now knows that I "need" this and it's not just a "want" situation.

When I told my husband about my decision he wasn't happy about it. He was afraid I could die from complications. I told him I was going to die sooner if I didn't do it. He tried to be behind me but I could tell he was only going through the motions. He didn't have the advantage of all the information I'd been gathering for months. He went with me to the first seminar but that was just basic info. He got a much better understanding of the whole process after the nurse education class, though he still worried. He's a natural worrier. He's good now that it's over and there are no more unknowns.

I love my husband very much (we've been married 31 yrs). But, in all honesty, this was something I was going to do with his support or without it. I couldn't just keep 'existing'. I wanted to LIVE.

When I told my husband about my decision he wasn't happy about it. He was afraid I could die from complications. I told him I was going to die sooner if I didn't do it. He tried to be behind me but I could tell he was only going through the motions. He didn't have the advantage of all the information I'd been gathering for months. He went with me to the first seminar but that was just basic info. He got a much better understanding of the whole process after the nurse education class' date=' though he still worried. He's a natural worrier. He's good now that it's over and there are no more unknowns.

I love my husband very much (we've been married 31 yrs). But, in all honesty, this was something I was going to do with his support or without it. I couldn't just keep 'existing'. I wanted to LIVE.[/quote']

I did it the same. I'm no child to need consent to have WLS.

My wife and daughter are totally against me having RNY surgery. They are giving me no support. They feel I can lose weight on my own. I just wasn't trying all those other times I dieted. I'm still pressing on and doing everything to get the surgery no matter what.