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Keeping the band a "secret"???

Hi again everyone,

My question this time is this...How many people are telling friends/family/work/etc. about getting and being banded? I have told many friends at work, my partner, her family, and mine. Everyone has been supportive (I am blessed), but I have read some threads where ppl mention they didn't tell work and some even said they didn't tell family ( I assume this meant family who do not live w/ them). Just curious about people's line of thinking on "full disclosure" or not.

:D

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Yes, you are right Mark, It is early for me and I don't even have a surgery date yet. Who knows, I might not get approval from my insurance. I am sure if I do get the band, I will eventually tell more people.

I'm 9 1/2 months out and have loss 65#'s. I'm a very private person about everything, so only told my husband, my two sons and their wives. I"m still happy with my choice...I'm not sure if I'll ever tell any of my friends. A woman in my congregation recently had the bypass done and has told everyone. It's a case of different strokes for different folks!

Roberta

From reading all the thoughts on this blog, I thank God for my friends and family. Like most people, I've struggled with my weight for so long that when I told my family and friends they were just so happy that I had decided to do something.

Once I received my sugery date, I had a girls night with my closest friends that live in Houston, and revealed to them what I'd decided. It gave me an opportunity to explain what the procedure involved.

I decided to tell very few people. My DH of course, my in laws, my closest friend at work and my boss. I only told my boss because I have been traveling alot for work and have dinner out with him and my work friend so I felt like they needed to know why I would be only having Soup or mushies instead of the wine, appetizer and dinner we all usually eat! :faint:

I have found that there are a lot of judgemental people in the world and have overheard people say, suck it up, shut your mouth and exercise. Of course these are ignorant people, but like some others have said, the weight loss is much slower with the band and I dont need any extra judgements!

Good luck with your decision. Ultimately it is a personal one.

My husband and I have discussed the lapband for awhile, and once I finally decided to "just do it" I told my best friend and my two oldest children (16, 19) Thats all I wanted to know....problem is, my hubby told his best friend (who also told several more friends)and his in-laws (who have told other in-laws), my children told their friends (who told their parents) and now my two youngest sons (9, 12) know, and they told their teachers....talk about privacy!! LOL

I did call my sister, who lives out of state....expecting to be condemned for my decision...but I was pleasantly surprised at her reactions!! In fact, she had me send her all the on-line info I had because she is thinking about it, too!!

Last night I went to the initial seminar, and while I was gone, I got a phone call....my youngest son told the person calling "Mom went to a meeting to get skinny"

I have lost a lot of weight in the past. So when I got the band I did'nt tell any of my family not even my mom. My husband knows but that's all.

I just did not want family looking at me all the time.

I have decided not to tell my mom or dad because I dont want them to worry. People at work know, however I have not discussed it with everyone in my office. My husband is being banded too, and my sister and son know. Its been hard not telling my mom because I usually tell her everything. I am being banded in Mexico so at first I was hesitant about telling people that. But now I am ok. accept mom and dad.

icon10.gifWhoot

:clap2: :tea: :high5: :peace: :whoo: :rockon: :lol: :wow2: :grouphug: :humble: :lock1: :hug: :cheer2: :Banane20: :):D :Banane27: :Banane57: :Banane34: :woot: I WAS APPROVED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

they will call me tomorrow to schedule a date!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

__________________

"Always leave get well cards on your mantel, that way when guests come over, they'll think you've been sick:sick and unable to clean."

:hippie:Blessings & Fae Kisses :kiss2:

i have been thinking about this too, i have only told my parents and sister, and dont plan to tell anyone else. i know someone else who is planning to get banded and i overheard a friend call her "lazy" so i decided not to invite any opinions for myself. not only do i not want people asking me how much i've lost, but yeah i cant imagine everyone having this "i told you so" attitude if it fails. also, even if they arent asking, they are probably looking closer than if they didnt know, so i guess ill just continue to not tell anyone.

i know someone else who is planning to get banded and i overheard a friend call her "lazy" so i decided not to invite any opinions for myself. .

I never ceases to amaze me how close minded and stupid people can be. I don't see how people can think this is the easy way our or us being 'lazy'. sheesh.

Date of approval 2/13

Date of surgery 2/27

BMI 54 Weight 336 Height 5'6 1/2" age 37

surgeon Dr Charles Morton Baptist Hospital Nashville, TN

Goal: Not sure yet. Somewhere under 200

i'm getting banded in what, 5 days?

i told my hubby (duh. he paid for it. LOL.) my mom, my dear friend (who is going with me since hub can't take the time off from work), my best friends and one lady from work. i did not tell my boss (i am really lucky in that i go 'hey, i'll be out of town a week' and he goes 'okay' - no questions asked.)

i will not be telling anyone else. not my stepdad, roommate, casual friends.

it is MY business. my struggle has been private, and this will be kept private.

plus, i don't want to be constantly monitored by everyone... you know... everyone going "how much have you lost now?" every few days.

and yeah, i guess part of me fears being judged for "cheating". i know and my family knows i am NOT cheating, but i hate the idea of having to defend myself.

i am SO NERVOUS. i wasn't until yesteday. :faint:

Ok, if you read my response to this same question say before I got the band or a few months after I would have told you that I told no one really but my parents and my hubby.

NOW I am telling people more (for good and bad) because I am proud of myself. I think that if you start out as a secret that is ok. But after awhile you may tell and that is ok too!

:) I am surprised at how many I thought would be unsupportive or judgemental really aren't at all! Good luck either way to you!

Man I didnt even think about people "monitoring" me afterwords. At first i said i would not be telling my mom, but I just couldnt hold it in. So here is something funny. I was talking on the cell phone to her and I said "mom, I got something to tell you....." pause pause pause. She said ok. So then I said "John and I are going to get the lap band" and right after I said that my cell phone went dead.... hahahahaha oh man I laughed and laughed.

So i called her back. And told her the rest about going to Mexico and stuff. she was kinda quite then said "well everyones doing it now". Any way so I finally did tell my mom and all is well. So 4 weeks left still and man Its taking toooo long to get here.

the only person I've told is my husband and my sister. I really don't want anyone knowing what's going on because some people can be too judgemental, etc. I am planning on just saying that I've changed my eating habits after seeing a nutritionist. I also have a friend who had the RNY procedure and once when discussing the lap band with her a couple years ago she freaked out on me and told me all of these horror stories she heard and that if i was thinking about anything at all it should be the RNY.

As far as telling people... I have only mentioned to a few select co-workers that also have weight issues.... I do not wish the others to know. Just let them notice the change. I am really shy about my weight with my husband as well, and I really did not even want him to know. But he was watching a discovery health show and saw the procedure on the show. He was talking about what he had watched and I just "blurted" out, 'yeah that is what I am doing too'. Ever since then, he has asked questions and we have discussed it more. I actually am relieved that he knows and he seems to be supportive. Unusual for our relationship.. We will see how things go, I am scheduled to be banded on March 12. I am so scared of "going under" and of not being able to even successfully follow through with my pre-op 10 liquid diet.

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