Okay, so, since I've been frequenting this virtual bariatric world, there appear to be a few issues which seem to ignite much debate and throw the most meekly devised threads into huge ego-centric 'flaming' exercises.

Not only do I, personally, find this predictably boring; it is also deeply unhelpful. We all know that this process changes or should change, how we do and view things to do with food and wider health issues, forever. As such, it takes a bit of getting used to.

The prospect of having to adapt our long-held behaviours is scary and our little food related rituals? They are tough bleedin' Cookies to break. (My apologies for mentioning the 'C' word there)

Consequently, I'm a big believer in the adage that 'skeletons in the cupboard' are no longer 'skeletons', if they are dragged out into the light of day. (Normally kicking and screaming with the neighbours looking on in horror)

So, roll-up, roll-up. Consider this an online bariatric confessional!

There'll be no 'Hail Mary's' or 'Our Fathers' and flagellation will NOT and should not be forthcoming.

I want you to tell us your 'dirty' little bariatric secrets.

What did you do? Why did you do it? (and I will refrain from asking 'with whom?' you did it!) How did it make you feel afterwards? Did you resolve to never do it again - or indeed, did you think that actually, everything in moderation is not so bad after all?

Did you chow down on that hot-sauce laden and cheese encrusted beef taco 2 days post op? (No one can tell I'm fantasizing about anything that does not constitute a 'fluid' much, can you?!!!) Did you sneak into the fridge and eat all your kids chocolate bars, happy in the knowledge that your Protein Pump Inhibitors would prevent you from getting indigestion? Did you swallow 10 vodka martini's to see if your pouch and your legs could take it?

Come on, tell Aunty Revs and lets see if we can put these beasts to bed once and for all x

As is only fair, I shall go first.. Tonight, I, 8 days post surgery, ate a fair amount of cheese frosting off the top of a red velvet cupcake (and maybe a couple of mouthfuls of the sponge, too). Why? Because it was there. Did it make any sense? No, because I have never craved sweet stuff. I'm a savoury kind of girl. What did I learn from it? That damn, I'm an emotional eater (which I never thought I was) and that shockingly, that **** went down a little bit too easily. Consequently, I learnt in that way lies grave danger...

See, if I can do it, anyone can. So, step forward and lets hear the 'worst' you've got. Everyone is welcome and all are equal here x

Girl... you know I had to take it where I can get it with you! You damn brainiac

In my defence.. I ain't no brainiac. I put it down to it being 02:17 UK time, being on a diet of fresh air and liquid (supplemented with a big bite of velvet cup cake and frosting) and frankly, I am so pig sick of the 'regulations' associated with this surgery, I even friggin' DREAM of Protein these days. If it starts with a 'P', it is now known as 'protein'. I need to get the hell out more. Seriously.

8 days post op I licked the seasoning off some wheat thins...I think it was the sun dried tomato basil flavor. f**k it was good. My sweet dog Wrigley ate the licked crackers afterward. She was all too happy to dispose of the evidence for me.

Also.....I parked in a handicapped space at the dollar store while on my 2 week pre-op diet. I was running in real quick to get a Kit Kat which I may or may not have eaten. Honestly it disappeared so fast I'm not sure where it went.

... I've licked a chip... In fact.. I'd lick anything right now if it had any flavour... Work surfaces.. windows...

Wanna lick my butt?

Wanna lick my butt?

Lol... I don't think she's that high on pain meds...

And would one have to take a Protein pump inhibitor afterwards???

Wanna lick my butt?

LOL erm, Lady, thanks for the offer, but you're not my 'flavour'!

As for the PPI, I think it would be required, for sure.

And Laura, be sure to get as much mileage out of this as you can. We all know you being in the 'world of right' doesn't happen very often! Muahaha

Lol... I don't think she's that high on pain meds...

And would one have to take a Protein pump inhibitor afterwards???

My butt is still more fat than protein. She's safe.

LOL erm, Lady, thanks for the offer, but you're not my 'flavour'!

You don't like MexItalian?

You don't like MexItalian?

If it was on a man, meh, I might consider it!

If it was on a man, meh, I might consider it!

Sorry if my ass isn't hairy enough for ya'!

LOL Who said that all men have hairy bums?!

LOL Who said that all men have hairy bums?!

Wait...my husband lied?

He surely did. My man has the most amazing... okay, wait, wrong website. Shall we get back to talking about bariatric dirty little secrets instead of deviating into my personal dirty little secrets?!!

I drink Coke Zero. Through a straw.

b***h!! Coke AND a straw???

Humpffff....Made my bottle of wine last month seem tame. Yep, the whole entire bottle. It was so freaking good I cant even tell you! Had a headache the size of Mount whatever the next morning but it was totally worth it. :-) Don't regret it an will probably do it again in the right circumstances.

But coke AND a straw??....20 Hail Marys for Lipstick Lady!

Back when I was consuming copious amounts of various hallucinogens, I heard somewhere that aspartame caused hallucinations if you consumed enough of it. Some friends and I went to one of those bulk stores and purchased an enormous amount of it. We all took the equivalent of maybe a few hundred packets of the stuff each.

Unfortunately, nothing interesting happened at all. One of my friends got diarrhea. That was the most interesting thing that happened. No hallucinations at all. Not even an acid flashback.

Wanna lick my butt?