My pre-op diet starts tomorrow when I will be 14 days pre-op, so I figured today was as good a time as any to start my diary. Hopefully writing everything down (even if nobody reads it) will help keep me focused and further down the line, if I feel myself falling off the wagon, will remind me why I don't want to let myself get back to the state I am in now.

So - hi! I'm Natalie, I'm 23 and living in London with my lovely boyfriend. I'm originally from Manchester (about 200 miles away) and sometimes I get really lonely living so far away, which doesn't help with my emotional eating! At my first consultation I weighed 235 pounds and had a BMI of 44. I fully expect that has gone up since then though. I have had a very bad week and have definitely felt kind of sad about the fact that my relationship with food is going to have to change forever, and so have had lots of my favourite foods before I give them up. I know there are differing opinions as to whether this is a good thing to do or not, but I feel like I have had my 'grieving period' and am ready to start my pre-op diet tomorrow knowing that, actually, it has made me feel rubbish and I don't like how these foods make me feel. Had a bit of a 'Eureka' moment earlier when I finished my dinner and felt sad that I would not have a 'normal' relationship with food again - but then it hit me like a tonne of bricks that the way I eat now is definitely not normal, and if anything, being sleeved will (hopefully!) bring me a lot closer to 'normal'.

I'll end this post here to stop me from boring you all, but I feel like this is going to almost be my therapy - my boyfriend is very slim and active and fit and he doesn't understand at all (although he tries his hardest to!) so here I can almost talk to myself! I will check in tomorrow to make sure I am keeping on track!! Nx

I've just read this entire thread and I really feel teary reading your last post :/ I'm rooting for you girl, hang in there! I agree with Madam way to go with putting YOU first, this is YOUR TIME do t let him get in the way, you will find happiness and who better to do it for than yourself! Big hugs! PS I'm not English but I was being nosy and reading the post anyways Keep us updated!

Thank you so much everybody - it means so much that you took the time to reply (even if it did make me cry!!). You're all so right, this is a whole new start for me now - and now without any ties here me and my new slimmer body will be free to do whatever we want. I have been with him since I was 19 though so we have done a lot of growing up together and I am terrified of being on my own again. I guess it will hurt a little less every day so, like my pre-op diet, I just have to take it one day at a time.

Went to L'Occitane at lunchtime and treated myself to my favourite shower gel and body lotion for at the hospital - I can never justify spending so much on it normally but I decided this was one of those times that was worth it.

Madam Reverie - he is 24. I am up to Manchester tonight anyway for my operation, and was already planning to stay there for a couple of weeks. Further than that I don't know what I'm going to do - my priorities are with getting myself recovered now.

He's 24 and a total knob. Glad you're back on your home turf for the operation. You take all the time you need up there to heal and get things together. Nothing like having your crew around you.

As for he posh shower gel? Hell, you have at it! If that's as bad as it gets, you're going to be just fine! When I split from my ex fiance, I think i blew a cool £1,000 on 'making me feel better' stuff!

Barclaycard, MAC and House of Fraser were very happy, I can tell you! x

Hi Mary it's Richard I have been where you are and it kick started my journey the hurt us still there but I use that to my advantage on the days it gets tough and although nearly 4 weeks of pre op gone a tough time to resist can happen at any time so be strong we are all here for you so please keep in touch and we can update each other on our progress .. Xx

Pre op straight forward too Bpm resting is 58 low cholesterol and blood pressure ok .. Let me know how the other pre ops go for you all Thanks

sorry Natalie ( Mary without sound) (thought your name was mary keep your focus i know its so easy to say that ..three years ago i was on anti depressants etc just a fat bloke with a broken heart but the weight loss has been my escape and my way to focus and i thought this day of October the 9th would never come.. i seem to be opposite to most in that if life is crap i tend to just not eat ,but if life is good and happy well i just eat lots of bad things lol ..we are all here for you .hope the pre op went ok and the op is as good as it can be x

Thanks Richard! I'm trying to stay positive!! Just got into my room at the hospital. Very nice - although right next to the nurses station so it's very noisy!!

Don't expect to get any sleep whilst you're there. I was under the illusion I'd be doped up and getting some serious naps in. Hell no. Apart from the ambient racket they were creating, they were in and out of my room practically every hour. If i were you? I'd be asking them straight up to leave you alone after the first night. I walked out of hospital shattered... Best of luck for today. I know you'll be legendary and then it all begins. We'll be waiting for you :)xx

Went down for theatre at about 10.20, and was put under at about 10.45.

Woke up in recovery with a really dry mouth, sore throat and what felt like the worst pulled muscles in my stomach! Apparently I had been telling the recovery nurse that I felt sick but I didn't remember it! He sorted me out with a little sip of Water, painkillers and anti-emetics and then I snoozed on and off until I got back to my room.

Since then, once again I have basically just nodded on and off. I am struggling with nausea more than pain ( I am just on paracetamol now ) and my oxygen levels and blood pressure is quite low.

My surgeon has just been in to see me (and woken me in the process!) and said everything went very well.

Hoping by tomorrow I will feel a little better - I hate feeling sick!!

Ask them for morphine. It'll ease the sickness and allow you to relax a bit... Glad it went well though and you're up, awake and fighting the temporary misery. Give it three days and this will be a vague blur. Well done, honey xx

You DID IT!!!!! I'm so pleased for you! Take this time to rest, get some good meds and take care of yourself, pretty soon you will be new and improved, so watch out folks!

I'm super sensitive to morphine and that makes me more sick than anything (as I once found out to my detriment on the platform at Bermondsey tube station! Eek!), so although I had some of that yesterday I am trying to avoid it for now.

Had a few hours unbroken sleep and I don't feel too bad at the moment. I have had no pain relief since about 6pm yesterday so I am really surprised how little I am hurting. Just feel like I've done a really intense abs class at the gym!

Not being able to drink much Water (it's just knocking me sick) so I have had two saline drips - although I keep needing to wee and feel guilty every time I call a nurse to unhook me from my various bits of equipment!!

I'm super sensitive to morphine and that makes me more sick than anything (as I once found out to my detriment on the platform at Bermondsey tube station! Eek!), so although I had some of that yesterday I am trying to avoid it for now.

Had a few hours unbroken sleep and I don't feel too bad at the moment. I have had no pain relief since about 6pm yesterday so I am really surprised how little I am hurting. Just feel like I've done a really intense abs class at the gym!

Not being able to drink much Water (it's just knocking me sick) so I have had two saline drips - although I keep needing to wee and feel guilty every time I call a nurse to unhook me from my various bits of equipment!!

Hi, I was sleeved on 19th Aug. best thing I did down 31 lbs. lots of change in what I can eat but adapting well. Embracing new me x

Hi, I was sleeved on 19th Aug. best thing I did down 31 lbs. lots of change in what I can eat but adapting well. Embracing new me x