My pre-op diet starts tomorrow when I will be 14 days pre-op, so I figured today was as good a time as any to start my diary. Hopefully writing everything down (even if nobody reads it) will help keep me focused and further down the line, if I feel myself falling off the wagon, will remind me why I don't want to let myself get back to the state I am in now.

So - hi! I'm Natalie, I'm 23 and living in London with my lovely boyfriend. I'm originally from Manchester (about 200 miles away) and sometimes I get really lonely living so far away, which doesn't help with my emotional eating! At my first consultation I weighed 235 pounds and had a BMI of 44. I fully expect that has gone up since then though. I have had a very bad week and have definitely felt kind of sad about the fact that my relationship with food is going to have to change forever, and so have had lots of my favourite foods before I give them up. I know there are differing opinions as to whether this is a good thing to do or not, but I feel like I have had my 'grieving period' and am ready to start my pre-op diet tomorrow knowing that, actually, it has made me feel rubbish and I don't like how these foods make me feel. Had a bit of a 'Eureka' moment earlier when I finished my dinner and felt sad that I would not have a 'normal' relationship with food again - but then it hit me like a tonne of bricks that the way I eat now is definitely not normal, and if anything, being sleeved will (hopefully!) bring me a lot closer to 'normal'.

I'll end this post here to stop me from boring you all, but I feel like this is going to almost be my therapy - my boyfriend is very slim and active and fit and he doesn't understand at all (although he tries his hardest to!) so here I can almost talk to myself! I will check in tomorrow to make sure I am keeping on track!! Nx

I'm excited for you...I'm pre op hoping to be sleeved in mid November...wishing you great success in your preop diet phase...one small suggestion I'm trying to get in habit of now is the 30-30 wait. drinking for 30 minutes before eating and waiting 30 minutes after eating to drink. It's hard' date='but if we can incorporate it in beforehabd it will be second nature by the time we are sleeved. I read once it takes 16 days to form a habit, may as well try forming a good one[/quote']

Thank you - I'm hoping your surgery comes around quickly!!

That is a really good idea about waiting for drinks. It's very rare that I have a meal without a drink (because I am really bad at drinking throughout the day and meal times were almost a reminder that i need to have a drink - this is something I'm trying to work on though). Hopefully spacing out my drinks between meals will stave off any hunger between meals too - I will definitely be trying this tomorrow!

Marywithsound, don't beat yourself up about stuff pre op Hun. You will have so much time to think about all the stuff post op. I was very lucky and even though I was 28st, my dr didn't require a pre op. The pre op is to get your mind into a change of gear before the surgery.. After surgery everything is going to shift again. Just take one day at a time knowing in a couple weeks or so, you will be starting your journey. I agree, grazing is not a good habit.. But after the sleeve you're not even going to feel hungry at first! It's going to be a chore to eat and drink. So my advice is enjoy whatever you plan each day leading up to your surgery. 900 calories is a tiny amount!! You're still on track. Even though I can only eat small amounts of food, I love my food! Love cooking, love tasting, love creating. That's what you want.. Change that relationship so there is none of this guilt factor. It's a new week, Monday. Get your head in the right place, focus on that goal and go for it!! Hope this bit of encouragement helps you.

Marywithsound' date=' don't beat yourself up about stuff pre op Hun. You will have so much time to think about all the stuff post op. I was very lucky and even though I was 28st, my dr didn't require a pre op. The pre op is to get your mind into a change of gear before the surgery.. After surgery everything is going to shift again. Just take one day at a time knowing in a couple weeks or so, you will be starting your journey. I agree, grazing is not a good habit.. But after the sleeve you're not even going to feel hungry at first! It's going to be a chore to eat and drink. So my advice is enjoy whatever you plan each day leading up to your surgery. 900 calories is a tiny amount!! You're still on track. Even though I can only eat small amounts of food, I love my food! Love cooking, love tasting, love creating. That's what you want.. Change that relationship so there is none of this guilt factor. It's a new week, Monday. Get your head in the right place, focus on that goal and go for it!! Hope this bit of encouragement helps you.[/quote']

Thank you - you are so right! I think yesterday I was just so terrified of losing control again but I have woken up this morning feeling so positive again. I feel like, for the first time, I am in charge of what I am eating - not the other way around! I don't know whether it's because I know how important this diet is for my op, or whether it's because I know I have support this time.

It has also helped that I jumped on the scales this morning and am 4lb down since Saturday. I know a lot of it will be Water weight but at least I know I am doing something right.

Thank you again for your encouragement, it means so much that people take time to reply to me! How are you doing today?

That's it!! Glad you're feeling more positive today. It really is easy to get sucked into this whole guilt, am I doing everything right, oh my goodness I ate a chip sort of world pre op. While your pre op diet is important for many reasons its not worth beating yourself up about! Good on you for the weightloss! I have a good week ahead thanks for asking.. I finish work on Thursday, seeing my sister Thursday afternoon and off to Turkey for two weeks on Friday with my hubby and 8 friends!! Most importantly I hope by Friday (I have 3lbs to go) that I will be leaving my 20st behind and entering the 19st!! So I'm super excited (I only weigh once a week or once every two weeks.. I will be weighed on Friday cause I've got my check up at Kings College)!! Then it will be sushi pre flight So it's gonna be a good week of food.. Trying out a new recipe on Thursday - low carb, high protein peanut butter cookies.. I shall take these on the plane for a healthy snack!! Off to the gym this afternoon.. Head is in a good place this week!!

Oh it sounds like you have loads to look forward to! I will be crossing my fingers that you get those 3lbs off!! I have every faith you'll be able to do it though!

The Peanut Butter Cookies recipe sounds good - over the last few months I have been trying to make low-cal versions of my favourite stuff (do you have the Hairy Dieters cookbook? It's brill for really tasty low cal recipes) so if they work out I will have to ask you for the recipe!

The Peanut Butter Cookies recipe sounds good - over the last few months I have been trying to make low-cal versions of my favourite stuff (do you have the Hairy Dieters cookbook? It's brill for really tasty low cal recipes) so if they work out I will have to ask you for the recipe!

I'm just watching the Hairy Bikers.. I love their cooking!! How was your day?

Madam R, how was today?

Today was.. good.. but upset with a bad dose of acid reflux when I tried to go to sleep last night. Took all of today to get rid of it. I'm okay now though and still chipper - if not a bit tired - thanks for asking. How are you doing today?

Oh no! I hope you're taking it easy and looking after yourself - glad to hear you're managing to stay cheerful though!

I have been GRUMPY today! And very hungry - not sure I would make it through without peppermint tea!! Hopefully will be better tomorrow - and every day I get through is one day closer to my operation.

Breakfast:

Rice Krispies with Semi Skimmed Milk

Mid morning snack:

Banana

Lunch:

60g sirloin steak, mixed salad with a little balsamic vinegar

Mid afternoon snack:

Apple

Dinner:

60g cod loin with roasted vegetables

Weightwatchers fromage frais with fruit layer

Sounds like you're doing well on the food front. Hoover up those pieces of steak and cod as much as you can. I'm only 4 days post op and I'd sell a kidney for a plate full of steak, chips and pepper sauce! OMG.. I'm drooling....

Today was.. good.. but upset with a bad dose of acid reflux when I tried to go to sleep last night. Took all of today to get rid of it. I'm okay now though and still chipper - if not a bit tired - thanks for asking. How are you doing today?

Have those hiccups gone? Did your dr prescribe you omeprazole or something similar?. I was started and still am on 40mg per day. If I forget to take mine I know all about it. Sitting up for an hour after eating anything sometimes helps a little too. I don't suffer at all when I remember to take them.

Oh no! I hope you're taking it easy and looking after yourself - glad to hear you're managing to stay cheerful though!

I have been GRUMPY today! And very hungry - not sure I would make it through without peppermint tea!! Hopefully will be better tomorrow - and every day I get through is one day closer to my operation.

Breakfast:

Rice Krispies with Semi Skimmed Milk

Mid morning snack:

banana

Lunch:

60g sirloin steak' date=' mixed salad with a little balsamic vinegar

Mid afternoon snack:

Apple

Dinner:

60g cod loin with roasted vegetables

Weightwatchers fromage frais with fruit layer[/quote']

Well done with your eating! You've had a good day! Perhaps some good quality sleep will cure your grumps!!

Sanks, it is exactly as you just described for yourself. I think I, too, will have to sit bolt upright for an hour after dinner. They gave me some Lansoprazole 30mg, but I think it's rubbish. I got the reflux even after taking it. Consequently this morning, after waking up feeling like acid-burn-death, I swallowed my old omeprazole tablet and felt much better. I do NOT want to be on these PPI all my life, as they have dodgy long term affects on the stomach. I guess I'm going to have to leave the 'heavier' food for lunchtime and eat lightly at dinner to avoid a repeat performance! How are you doing today, btw? What's new in your world? x

Oh yes, I've never rated lansoprazole, a few times I had my husbands before I got my prescription but they didn't seem as good as omeprazole. Unfortunately when I had my band removed I wanted to cry from the heartburn.. Absolutely anything I ate have me reflux.. Even tea sometimes. So I was put on 20mg omeprazole which helped straight away. Consultant doubled dose straight after surgery.. I suspect I will always be on these tabs!! But they keep the reflux at bay.. Not a nice thing to suffer with!!

I'm ok today.. Thanks for asking.. Not much is new in my world.. Felt like a bowl of veggies tonight so that's all I had.. But it curbed the craving!! And I had some delicious meatballs at lunch, but I know you don't wanna hear about food.... So I had an awesome workout at the gym and then sat in the sauna sweating out all these toxins for half an hour.. I'm off to Turkey on Friday so I'm super excited.. I'll be baking my Peanut Butter Cookies on Thursday and will let you know how they turn out.. 2g of carb and no sugar gotta get into the 19st category, appointment at Kings on Friday (I'm 3lbs away) so I'm sure I will. Now I'm watching crappy TV.. Dreaming of sea and sun x

Okay, fully jealous. I want to go on holiday!!! (And have meatballs! ) x