My pre-op diet starts tomorrow when I will be 14 days pre-op, so I figured today was as good a time as any to start my diary. Hopefully writing everything down (even if nobody reads it) will help keep me focused and further down the line, if I feel myself falling off the wagon, will remind me why I don't want to let myself get back to the state I am in now.

So - hi! I'm Natalie, I'm 23 and living in London with my lovely boyfriend. I'm originally from Manchester (about 200 miles away) and sometimes I get really lonely living so far away, which doesn't help with my emotional eating! At my first consultation I weighed 235 pounds and had a BMI of 44. I fully expect that has gone up since then though. I have had a very bad week and have definitely felt kind of sad about the fact that my relationship with food is going to have to change forever, and so have had lots of my favourite foods before I give them up. I know there are differing opinions as to whether this is a good thing to do or not, but I feel like I have had my 'grieving period' and am ready to start my pre-op diet tomorrow knowing that, actually, it has made me feel rubbish and I don't like how these foods make me feel. Had a bit of a 'Eureka' moment earlier when I finished my dinner and felt sad that I would not have a 'normal' relationship with food again - but then it hit me like a tonne of bricks that the way I eat now is definitely not normal, and if anything, being sleeved will (hopefully!) bring me a lot closer to 'normal'.

I'll end this post here to stop me from boring you all, but I feel like this is going to almost be my therapy - my boyfriend is very slim and active and fit and he doesn't understand at all (although he tries his hardest to!) so here I can almost talk to myself! I will check in tomorrow to make sure I am keeping on track!! Nx

well done Natalie keep going and feeling positive ..wish i was you as i go in at 7-15 weds morning first hospital stay ever < ..i was also under the illusion of 1...2....days of rest and sleep !! maybe not ..

Thank you Richard! Your date is so close now, i'm excited for you . Hopefully you will manage to get some good rest - and if you don't in hospital you certainly will when you get home!!

I am really struggling to get all my liquid in. I have been told I need to try to drink 2litres a day and there's no way I can do it'. I can only tolerate a few sips at a time and then I have to wait a good half an hour before I can face any more.

I am a little worried about one of my incisions as well - it hurt more than the others in hospital and I could feel a lot of dried blood under the dressing. Had a shower today and some Water got under the 'waterproof' dressing and I think it's bleeding a little. I will keep an eye on it but I don't like the look of it!

Its the hole that they dragged your stomach out of. They also tether something to your stomach wall around that port, so it is always more sore than the other ones. It'll go in two weeks. Just hold it gently as you move about. A heat pad really helped me the first few days. As for the dressing - if water got underneath it - have a wash, gently pat and reapply a fresh dressing. You don't want that one festering... Glad you're doing well, Nathalie. Don't worry too much about what you can consume. Just try your best to get the liquids and perhaps some natural yoghurt in x

Again, Madam R, thank you for taking the time to respond! Going to go to the walk-in clinic tomorrow to ask a nurse to put another dressing on for me.

Not feeling great now - it seems to get worse in the evenings.

How are you doing? I can't wait to stop feeling so queasy and gassy! Please tell me it stops soon

it does, honey, it does. Come day 5-7, you'll feel pretty chirpy - or chirpier. The water goes down better, the panic cloud lifts, you'll be eating a bit of yoghurt and whatever else you can get down.. The evenings are bad, because that's when you do your healing and recuperating. Just sit back, take a painkiller or two and relax. You don't have to achieve anything other than getting better. I'm 19 days out now and still feel a bit tired.. But the food options are increasing! Yay!!!!! x

Even though I am struggling to get anywhere near as much Fluid down me as I need to, and the thought of actually eating anything makes me feel a bit queasy, I am seriously craving random tastes.

Today, I would sell my own mother for a bag of Quavers.

LOL... I hate to say it, but it gets worse.. Try licking a little bit of a stock cube. That sated my cravings for taste and salt for a while.. Hang in there! x

Well, about 2 minutes after I posted that, she came home with chips and gravy for her lunch! Not even going to sell her now, I will give her away for free! The upside was though that I dipped my finger in the gravy and my goodness it was glorious!! Good tip about the oxo cube - may make myself a mug of stock later on. X

One week post op so I jumped on the scales out of curiosity...from a high of around 238lb before I began my pre-op, I am down to 212lb today. I know a lot of that will be water weigh and I am heading towards my three week stall, but I'm feeling pretty pleased with myself!

That's a pretty good result! Are you starting to 'feel' skinny? I know I am! It's weird!

That's a pretty good result! Are you starting to 'feel' skinny? I know I am! It's weird!

I am a little! I can feel my collar bones again and my jaw is looking much more defined. Have had to take a couple of links out of my watch too, so I'm feeling quite confident at the moment!

How are you doing? Is your heartburn any better today? (Noticed on another thread - stalker alert haha!)

Hehe, it's okay. I think I'm just learning what I can and can't do and what I should and should not be doing. Got 10 hours sleep last night with no reflux - so what I did yesterday clearly worked. Fingers crossed it continues and this is just a 3 week transition issue. I am genuinely scared of the alternative. It's not pleasant, I'll say that.

Glad you're seeing the tangible results.. I'm 2.6 kilo's off being 100 kilos. I think I may have a mini party when I hit that mark! Sad, but true!

Oh how I have enjoyed reading this!! (Except for poor Natalie's heartbreak). I am glad you are doing well post-op Natalie:) and Madam - here's to hoping your reflux is on it's way out! I feel so terrible for you:( i have a friend who put wood blocks under the head of their bed because of reflux...it may help you to try that. I can't remember the mans name who has been posting (sorry), but I hope pray you are doing well.

Glad you managed to have a full night's sleep Madam R. I will keep my fingers crossed it carries on getting better - I think sometimes when we feel so well in other ways, it's easy to forget that our bodies have gone through major surgery and it's going to take a while for things to get back to some semblance of normality - I know I have been guilty of this in the past few days!

Thanks redbean! Luckily I am not feeling too heartbroken now - I'm 23 and went from university to working full time and living with him. I have 6 months lease left on the apartment and I am planning, as I will be much more confident and active by then (fingers crossed!) to have a bit of an adventure while I still can and have no real responsibilities. My plan is to hopefully secure a working visa to spend a year in Canada - a winter in Whistler sounds good to me at this point!

Glad you managed to have a full night's sleep Madam R. I will keep my fingers crossed it carries on getting better - I think sometimes when we feel so well in other ways, it's easy to forget that our bodies have gone through major surgery and it's going to take a while for things to get back to some semblance of normality - I know I have been guilty of this in the past few days!

Thanks redbean! Luckily I am not feeling too heartbroken now - I'm 23 and went from university to working full time and living with him. I have 6 months lease left on the apartment and I am planning, as I will be much more confident and active by then (fingers crossed!) to have a bit of an adventure while I still can and have no real responsibilities. My plan is to hopefully secure a working visa to spend a year in Canada - a winter in Whistler sounds good to me at this point!

Sounds like you are better off without him, Natalie:) Canada is beautiful! I would love to go back for a visit someday!! And I do believe by 6 months out you will have more energy so it would be perfect to travel!!!