I'm so excited! I'm having a lower body lift in 7 hours. For the cosmetic surgery challenged, that's like a tummy tuck combined with a butt and thigh lift. Ya, painful! I'll post some before/after pics soon. But rest assured, they'll be HOT!

wait, one more thing....

i dont know why its bad for women to say "i need a sexual life" too. I do know that the more women come out and own their sexuality, the more other repressed women can find bravery to come out too. Its as if we accepted the situation that men may "spread their seed" but women arent supposed to like it.

I'll stop here...i just wish you so much happiness and hate to think you might be repressing yourself when youve been through so much.

ill go away now...

What's the LDS position on toys? Is it sin to use a toy?

Cause girl, if you want to control your own urges in the presence of the male of the species - using toys at home will do the trick.

Good luck!

what is your position on toys puddin???? oh, I thought she ment bikes, treadmills, you know toys, not "toys" lol thats one topic Puddin hasnt covered, just make sure your mom does not have this site marked before you post your response. haha

Life is here to laugh at, how boring it would be without laughter at others and our selves.

Pamela... I really like this advice of yours. I decided yesterday, really decided, to be true to myself. I thought to myself, "Self, one of two things has got to go in order for you to be at peace: You've either got to be okay with being slightly promiscuous (not that I'm sleeping around with every guy. Just two guys in the last 4 months, I was in love with one of them and was going to marry him an the other I really, really like still, and the rest have been bad makeouts or phone sex) and forget your moral beliefs, or you have to give up the promiscuity and be true to your moral and church standards." It was a no-brainer.

I have found myself in actual withdrawals from it. I was so pissy yesterday because I was horny with no outlet LOL. I resisted the "phone sex" with Seth, because we're both working on being good. I even prayed... really hard... to just know what to do to be happy. I have found myself feeling low because I have no scheduled dates after Thursday. How pathetic! Why should I need a man to be happy with ME? I seem to always need a man around to feel good about myself. It's ridiculous. So I'm working on things to get the focus off of myself for awhile. I used to volunteer at the temple on Saturdays until I couldn't any more (because of the sex), so I'm going to replace that with the food bank or something. I don't know, I just need to not focus on me for awhile.

Liz you are so freakin funny. I like your posts and your PMs... and your pics, for that matter. Wait, can I be you? And I do appreciate your 'romp in the dirt' funny attitude. I've certainly been embracing it lately. But I think overall I'll be happier not doing it. I'll let them chase me for awhile. Hell, maybe I'll take a dating hiatus, even. I'm thinking a good month oughtta put things into perspective - and give me a few free nights a week to play soccer with the league LOL. I miss it. It's a nice outlet. You don't have to play games with the ball to get it to like you, you just kick the hell out of it.

Rene, you're hilarious! What's my "position" on toys? jk. In my church we don't believe in masturbating, so I don't (despite the fact that I've done other bad things). It's funny, I went out with that guy last Friday and told him I wouldn't watch a rated R movie but then after we made out hardcore LOL. I guess you gotta not let all those standards go. But as far as toys go within the marriage, between couples, as far as I know that's just fine. But you know what's funny? Seth wants to have phone sex before we go out on Thursday, you know, to get it all "out" before we go out, that way there will be no temptation. I told him that was the stupidest idea I'd ever heard.

Oh puddin - if you need to break one of the "rules", make it masturbating. It honestly will help you deal with some of the sex issues better. It's not that it makes the desire go away, but you'll be able to control your urges more if you are...um...relieving the tension yourself.

And I can relate to the religion thing because I grew up very religious - Born Again Christian - where everything was a sin. I'm more spiritual than religious now, but I really, honestly believe that if you're a good person God will not keep you out of heaven because you masturbated, especially if it keeps you from having pre-marital sex (if you don't want to). It's ok to be a sexual being, and I think it's also ok to be a religious sexual being that loves god. You'll find your balance.

You're so good about being open and candid about things, hope you don't mind me throwing in my two cents.

speaking of what shes went through to get here....

did you see the special last night on tv called "the shrinking woman"? they followed this one woman through a body life where they cut all the way around and pulled everything up. I thought of puddin, and how much agony that poor woman must have gone through.

its quite amazing ...they showed the whole surgery.

Hey Chrispy

I'm just not going to let that rule go. Seriously. I'm just going to go cold turkey. I've done it before, I can do it again. In fact, after the first time I went cold turkey with the making out (when I was in my early 20's) I really honestly and truly forgot what it was like to be addicted to it until... well, now. I can still be a sexual being, but I'd like to keep that within the confines of marriage. I can't find a good guy like this. My belief is that God will show me a good guy when I'm ready for him. And a good guy isn't going to want me right now. I joke that I'm the perfect girl on paper but in reality I'm all messed up LOL. I was way more emotionally balanced when fat. So weird how losing weight makes you sort of lose your identity and then you're all over the place again.

Hey, I got a fill today and my nurse brought up something very interesting. She said they'd been hearing a lot lately about addiction replacement, and asked me specifically if I'd been replacing my food addiction with another addiction. Funny. There needs to be more education about this to those being banded. There WILL be a need for addiction replacement. Honestly, I wonder if a 12-step program would work for us?

Hey Liz, was it cool? It would have been awesome to watch the surgery. Don't let it scare you. It's not THAT bad!

Ok people, date with Seth in 1 hr 15 min... we're going to an arcade - NICE AND SAFE! Then I'll tell him I want to date his brother LOL.

coming out of lurk mode to see what happened tonight with seth!

HA! Okay, went out with Seth. Guess what? I got his bro! LOL! We doubled with his brother. Anyhow, his brother calls me about 15 minutes after the date ends and asks me out. I love it. Seth's not such a bad guy. Apparently this was his intention. He was putting up a badass front, but deep down he's a nice guy. So me and his bro are going out next weekend sometime..

Remember the sick feeling I had? It kind of went away when we decided to not go to each others' houses and double. I'm so glad now.

Glad things are working out. I think that your new directions will help you find peace. Good luck with the bro!

Thank you, Karey. I agree. I WAS worried with Seth - he's just sort of strangely charming with his complete, brutal honesty, and his good looks. But in the end we made the right decision, and he was a good guy about it and hooked me up with his bro. Oh my, I have a pic of this boy on my blog that exemplifies his personality - cocky, a little beligerent, athletic... Anyhow, dang, wish I had a pic of his bro.

Now what to do about that bike trip to Denmark with Jacques this July??? Oh my, I'm in a predicament with that one. There's no way we're not going to do something when 1-we've done it before, 2-we're sharing a hotel room that week, and 3-we're alone (the friend backed out). I need to come up with a good creative solution to this one, because I definitely want to go to Denmark.

You're sharing a hotel room with him? How expensive would it be to not share a room? Or if you start right now you can work on visualizing him crawling with bugs and mold and other gross stuff maybe. Or try eating something that gives you super nasty breath when you are alone with him in the room so he won't get too close to you. Once DH didn't brush his teeth for about three days or something. Gross! I wouldn't kiss him or let him breathe on me because his mouth smelled like it was rotting. I made him go brush his teeth so he could breathe in my direction.

Seth is good looking, if his brother is as good looking, you go for it girl! Find a new friend to go to Denmark with you and set some ground rules a head of time!

YOr if you start right now you can work on visualizing him crawling with bugs and mold and other gross stuff maybe. Or try eating something that gives you super nasty breath when you are alone with him in the room so he won't get too close to you. Once DH didn't brush his teeth for about three days or something. Gross! I wouldn't kiss him or let him breathe on me because his mouth smelled like it was rotting. I made him go brush his teeth so he could breathe in my direction.

Hahaha so funny! It would def work on me. Stinky breath is a serious deal breaker.

OK Puddin, where are you!!!!!

Had my first stregnth test with the trainer today! holy crow, I did pretty good, 13 min mile, not superwoman but did run most of it. at the same pull ups, situp, knee ups, as before surgery so finally I can feel like I'm not lagging behind. I hope my legs dont kill, as we are going to Disneyland tomorrow and will have to run to keep up with Brian, he is a bigger kid that the kids. when they were little he would carry 2 and run,yes run ppast the crowd to get to the chosen first ride. this time only our daughter and her friend are going and they are 17 so they better be prepared to run, cuz dad is gonna dash thru the crowd for spash mountain.

How are you doing? youve been quiet latly and things are crazy here so I havnt kept up on you, so fill in the blanks!