gain goal regain How was your 5:2 day today?

[feedyoureye 3,087]

I was going to try to fast today but now my friend called and said she's coming over with taco bell. I am going to eat a very light dinner.< /p>

 

yes, I do enjoy Bill but he can be so all consuming. I have explained that to him and he's trying to work with the person he is seeing on the several issues I have brought up. It kind of impresses me that he's willing to work so hard because he says he loves me so much and has so much to lose. 

 

I am still thinking I am going to take the dance classes that start later in the month. I'm going to call the college and find out what night they're on.

What kind of dance will you be learning?

[Globetrotter 1,340]

Florinda, you seem happy to be back which is good. OK so bring me up to date and explain where you are. Are you in a place you want to be, with a job too? I don't know the geography of the states at all so are you near your mum? ( do you want to be near your mum?) I know Jack is not on the horizon anymore so are you OK with this. So many Qs - sorry. I want to make sure I am up to date. I really just want to know that you are OK in the situation you are in. I care. XX

My clothes are tight !!

My clothes are tight too Cath, now that I am in my own home with at least the illusion of control, I am going back onto a post-op diet, to dump some cold Water shock onto my system to get this jump started again!

To answer your questions:

Yes, I am MOST DEFINITELY in a place I want to be, Seattle WA, in the central/madison park district, I can see Lake Washington from my terrace Cheryl!!

Sadly, I am not near Mum, but she came up for the holiday wknd and we had a blast, it was difficult to drop her off at the airport today v_v, we probably won't see each other again till Christmas, unless one of us wins a pot of money

I don't have a paying job yet, but I remain positive

I actually am okay with Jack not being on the radar, the more I learn about narcissism, and especially as my Mom reveals to me the extent to which my father abused her, the more my eyes are opened to what was beginning to happen, and I am grateful I got out when I did. I don't know how my Mom survived 37 years with my father, I just don't v_v...

We (Mum & I) roasted veggies this morning - we got a great haul at the farmer's market yesterday and today roasted golden beets, yellow onion, yams, garlic, pattipan squash with olive oil and Kosher salt. OMG so delish!!!! I am just plucking them right off the cookie sheet and gobbling them shamelessly

Tomorrow I have to do a lot of unpleasant stuff, go to the car dealership and have them fix stuff that should have been fixed before I bought the car, go to the DMV (Jesus save me), go to the post office and collect the heaps of pkgs that are there waiting for me, make a Goodwill run, and ..... deal with bills/med ins/etc. etc. paperwork V_V

This afternoon though, I am just going to listen to old music from the 20's and 30's, putter around the apartment putting stuff away from packing boxes, and nibble my veggies.

[Georgia 2,908]

Cathy, how is your back? I suffer from somewhat the same thing. Discs in upper cervical and lower back both bulging and spinal steno sis. You never know when that "pop" will happen (Florinda also). I wen through a really severe 3-4 months a couple years ago with rehab, drugs and shots. RIGHT before big Disneyworld vacay if you remember. Now, we are one month from Disney again with the fam gang and every time I feel a twing I feel myself tighten up! lol. I want to truly enjoy this trip since it's costing me a small fortune. .

 

Hope yours is doing better. I've managed a couple weeks of good fast days and desperately trying to eat cleanly. I've found that I add inches straight in the stomach quickly if I put on pounds now. I don't like!!! Of course it would help if I were exercising like I was and know I should be. Just so dadgum hot here right now. Yep, that is a lame excuse.

 

Hope everyone is having a decent Labor Day in the States and our "across the Seas" gang, Happy whatever!!!

[Oregondaisy 2,019]

I've taken these classes before. It's waltz, foxtrox, east coast swing, and I can't remember what the 4th one is. They are on monday nights and this way at least I can brush up since I haven't danced anything but shake your booty at the local bar.

[feedyoureye 3,087]

Florinda, sounds really nice, and plucking veggies NEVER needs to feel shamefull!

Georgia, you have a wonderful trip! disney is $$$ but is so much fun too. 

Cathy, I had back problems for years, on stretch, I couldn't look down, because it caused sciatic pain in my lower back and leg... Dancing and losing weight really helped, If I stay away from very heavy lifting, I am good (fingers crossed!)

I had a really tough day yesterday, cried all day and felt like I was inhabited by aliens. It was grief seeping in. Some part of me realized the loss of Mom. I had been hanging out with Dad the day before, and going through and sorting some of her stuff. Years ago she promised me a little wash stand. Their house if full of antiques, but this one little cute wash stand was always my fav. Anyway I noticed it wasn't in the house... and dad didn't know where it was... we looked in the attic (giant attic) and no wash stand... at some point it ended up in someone else's house or sold at a garage sale. Something just snapped.  I even realized that it was not about the "thing" but the person... and losing that wash stand made losing my Mom real. I swear, I did a lot yesterday, cleaning out two closets (big job) and other stuff, but I ate a bunch of chocolate, chips, I did make myself eat a salad for dinner and didn't gain any more, but self medicating with the wrong kind of medication! I dosed on calming vitamins... and tried to get some sleep... the dog woke me up 3 times starting at 2 am. I do feel a little better today, but it was like a punch in the face. Actually felt like I was going crazy there for a while.

[CowgirlJane 14,259]

Kim, I know that grief. As much as we hate to experience it, i think it is better that it comes to the surface now and you have a "crazy day" rather than it festering forever. It is so hard to lose someone you love, even if they are older and it was expected. {{{HUGS}}}

I wish that my idea of having the single and dating ladies private group (like this) had worked as I really have things to talk through and frankly it bothers me that the handful of us "dating" have tended to monopolize the chat here at times. The group didn't work out because people simply could not work out the navigation.... people that use their phones to navigate this site can't find stuff. Only reason this works for me is that it is a single thread and i can find it under "content you follow".

I had a super fun weekend but too much wine and party. I am up to 146 this morning, so going to at least do some version of 5:2. My goal is to get back down to 140 over the coming weeks or months.

Friday I worked like a slave around my place, but it felt good to get some stuff done - cleaned gutters etc etc

Saturday I went to a birthday party with Theo - someone he knows - sort of part of his larger circle. Met his two best friends, met her baby horses (foals) which was cool. It was not good weather for an outdoor party but we have had such a glorious summer, can't really complain.

Sunday Theo came up to a party with my friends at Mary's house. She lives up against 3,000 acres of wilderness so we did a horseback ride (Theo rode my extra horse) and then had a salmon and wine lunch and sat in the sunshine all afternoon. Luckily the weather was much better and after the morning clouds parted we had a lovely day, not too hot, just comfy.

Monday I met Mary at 9am to evaluate a horse she is looking at. I felt a bit... dehydrated... i think some people call it hung over. I think she is going to get that horse on a trial period. Then, later had a phone call with Theo that disturbed me and i am processing it.

Here is the good news, instead of letting that uncomfortable phone call send me into anxiety, I worked my butt off around the place. I have my garage almost cleaned out, I loaded a bunch of branches in my utility trailer to haul away etc etc.

I am still on half a pill every other day of the Lexapro and feel like it really helped me. Unfortunately, I am having bad side effects now and am doubting if I can continue it. I take a tiny dose but if I take it during the daytime, I fall asleep. If I take it at night, the stomach ache keeps me awake. I am grateful i am seeing someone who actually believes me. My PCP says that the tiny dose I am on can't possibly be helping me or causing these side effects... and yet they are.

[Georgia 2,908]

Florinda, sounds really nice, and plucking veggies NEVER needs to feel shamefull!

Georgia, you have a wonderful trip! disney is $$$ but is so much fun too. 

Cathy, I had back problems for years, on stretch, I couldn't look down, because it caused sciatic pain in my lower back and leg... Dancing and losing weight really helped, If I stay away from very heavy lifting, I am good (fingers crossed!)

I had a really tough day yesterday, cried all day and felt like I was inhabited by aliens. It was grief seeping in. Some part of me realized the loss of Mom. I had been hanging out with Dad the day before, and going through and sorting some of her stuff. Years ago she promised me a little wash stand. Their house if full of antiques, but this one little cute wash stand was always my fav. Anyway I noticed it wasn't in the house... and dad didn't know where it was... we looked in the attic (giant attic) and no wash stand... at some point it ended up in someone else's house or sold at a garage sale. Something just snapped.  I even realized that it was not about the "thing" but the person... and losing that wash stand made losing my Mom real. I swear, I did a lot yesterday, cleaning out two closets (big job) and other stuff, but I ate a bunch of chocolate, chips, I did make myself eat a salad for dinner and didn't gain any more, but self medicating with the wrong kind of medication! I dosed on calming vitamins... and tried to get some sleep... the dog woke me up 3 times starting at 2 am. I do feel a little better today, but it was like a punch in the face. Actually felt like I was going crazy there for a while.

Ahh, Kim!  Grief is a strange thing for us mortals.  Just when you think you might have turned the corner, so to speak, it comes sneeking up again.  And that washstand, well, that washstand was YOURS!     I remember just a little while after my Dad passed (I was a Daddy's girl big time!) I almost had a heart attack (literally) one day because I needed to SEE my Dad - anything - whatever it was - I tore through boxes until I could find the cards he had written to me.  Seeing his handwriting calmed me down a little bit. 

 

Take care of yourself, my friend.  Give yourself a big hug today from me!!!   And, btw, what are "calming Vitamins? "  Melatonin or some such?  I need something too.  Melatonin doesnt seem to help me much.  I THINK all night long.   

[coops 1,790]

Kim, as Georgia said - take care of yourself and let yourself grieve when the feeling hits - don't sweat the small stuff my lovely friend... by that I mean food wise.  Cwtches across the pond x

[Globetrotter 1,340]

I've started taking a concentrate of chaga mushrooms, they are an adaptogen and reduce the anxiety response...

http://www.hybridherbs.co.uk/article/the-health-benefits-of-medicinal-mushrooms/

[Oregondaisy 2,019]

Awe Kim, I am so sorry. I've gone through this with my parents and I know how hard it is. I hope you'll take your time going through things and going at your own pace. I did a lot of reading about grief during this time. I always go to the self help books for some reason. I guess I need to read that what I feel is normal.

 

I am kind of stressing today because I have an offer on my house and he has to respond by 4 pm which is an hour from now. It's cash as is and I hate to take 15 grand less, but I just want it over with.

 

I really need to get with the program and try to diet. Tuesdays are always a good day for me to try to stick with Protein. For some reason, today I feel really hungry and I'm usually not. I seem to be going from 137-141 . When I hit 141 I get in my oh $hit mood and really try to fast.

 

Where do you go when you read the board. What other content do you follow, Sheryl? What about some of the rest of you?

 

Florinda, are you completely finished with that job for the government or whoever they were that took you over seas?   How have you been feeling? Now that you're back in the US, can you get good medical care?

[CowgirlJane 14,259]

After months of ideal weather the rains have returned. I had missed some doses of lexapro too due to side effects. Been not sleeping well. That combo, I am starting to feel "not good". I am not depressed feeling but I feel a shift starting maybe so time to get in front of it.

Yesterday my son and I were both talking about living somewhere with less traffic and better "winter" weather.

[UK Cathy 977]

Has anyone downloaded the new app. I have and am totally lost.

It did not accept my old password so it was reset now I don't know how to change it back. Help

[Georgia 2,908]

Yes, I just did! Mine worked but I'm guessing all the subscribed just show up with recent posts on one page. Gonna take some getting used to that's for sure!

[feedyoureye 3,087]

Check this out!

You may need to join, I forget... I don't have to log in, but may be a free member....

http://www.medscape.com/viewarticle/831069?src=wnl_edit_tpal&uac=204266DY

 

"your gut may be making you hungry" Its creepy and cool info.

[coops 1,790]

Oh my, not feeling this - after a good fast day the scale went up!!! I've had a low cal day - scale stayed up... then today, I did a good 16:8 but within the 8 hours, I managed to fit in biscuits and nuts... oh dear!

Tomo isn't gonna be much better as we have a training day and there is always lovely buffet food... *sighs*

Gotta get rid of this extra poundage... doing my head in - even though I didn't think it would!