gain goal regain How was your 5:2 day today?

[Globetrotter 1,340]

Cathy, my back went "slipop" 5 weeks ago and I am still suffering I went to this amazing sports massage therapist the other day and she released so much trauma from my body that the room was steaming with the heat pouring off of me. The muscles to the left of my spine but to the right of the shoulder blade are so sore that a deep breath hurts :/

ONE DAY LEFT, or as I like to think of it, 10 working hours .

Cheryl - I have not found that to be the case, regarding men in Seattle, I use OKC as my metric and I already have like 6 dates lined up so it isn't quantity I am concerned about, and it isn't securing the first date that concerns me, it is that one taste of me seems to be more than enough and they disappear in a puff of smoke v_v

I read some info on narcissists and how to recognize them and it blew my mind because so much of it was what Jack has done to me, "cultivating" me as his "source"... but, I also worry that I too may have narcissistic tendencies, because of my desire for total adoration and my willingness to use other people to get to my goals...

[CowgirlJane 14,259]

Florinda - First date is never a problem for me either. In fact, I keep my profile hid and i pick them...

It is the finding men you WANT to see again, that share some common interests/goals, etc. At my age - added dimension of acceptable level of fitness, and physical abilities (ie, can they actually go on a hike or horseback ride etc). And then there is sexual ability... again, something more age related ..

Steven met all that but, and he "wants" me, but on his very limited terms. He tries to change because he doesn't want to lose me, but that leads to conflict because by 66 he is set in his ways and always F***s it up.

So then, I find someone like Theo who is awesome, great looking, youthful, fit, energetic, smart etc... and I think wants what i do in a relationship. Then, I start understanding his lifestyle and wonder how we can "fit together". I start work at 5-6 am; talked to him this morning at 11 - he was waking up to his morning cuppo coffee (he is retired). He is a neatnik, doesn't like dogs etc.... my polar opposite on a few topics like that.

When I was young, I never worried about all this stuff... but I have gotten smarter I guess. Or dumber maybe.

On the topic of "narcissim" - well, my feeling is that when you get grounded in yourself it helps you clarify your true needs and wants versus that less mature seeking someone to fill the gaps in your life.

Edited August 28, 2014 by CowgirlJane

[CowgirlJane 14,259]

Oh. And how can you keep 6 dates straight haha. My counselor wants me to date several men casually but that is so complicated. .haha. I see Theo about once a week and with work, kiddo, horses, dogs, girlfriends, meetup group dances... I don't really have time for more. Lately funerals and hospitals and dealing with Bettys "stuff" and family have taken a lot of time too. Maybe next month I could visualize dating more.

[coops 1,790]

Crikey Sheryl... my head would explode if I had six dates on the go ...lol

 

We are going out with friends tonight for a drink and a giggle... last night out before I go back to work Monday... I am also back on the 5:2 wagon.  Top end bounce ain't that good for me cos my fav jeans are a bit snug and I don't like that feeling at all!!

[CowgirlJane 14,259]

I don't have 6 I have 1. Florinda mentioned having 6 lined up which would stress me out but my counselor says I need more than one.. haha

Crikey Sheryl... my head would explode if I had six dates on the go ...lol

We are going out with friends tonight for a drink and a giggle... last night out before I go back to work Monday... I am also back on the 5:2 wagon. Top end bounce ain't that good for me cos my fav jeans are a bit snug and I don't like that feeling at all!!

[CowgirlJane 14,259]

I got so much done around my place. Washing windows gutters and siding...that sort of thing. I feel like another layer of coming alive is back that I even care about these things. My ex was a negative drag on home projects but I go to my friends homes and this stuff is attended to. I feel empowered to tackle myself now just wish there wasn't a 3 year backlog of basic home projects to complete.

[Globetrotter 1,340]

I am BACCK! and it is raining and I am thrilled. Easy to follow 5:2 since there is no food in my apartment, just tea and coffee and Protein Drinks Oh, and I have even more dates lined up now .

[UK Cathy 977]

Florinda, you seem happy to be back which is good. OK so bring me up to date and explain where you are. Are you in a place you want to be, with a job too? I don't know the geography of the states at all so are you near your mum? ( do you want to be near your mum?) I know Jack is not on the horizon anymore so are you OK with this. So many Qs - sorry. I want to make sure I am up to date. I really just want to know that you are OK in the situation you are in. I care. XX

My clothes are tight !!

[Oregondaisy 2,019]

Cathy, i hope your back is feeling better. I have back problems and it can really mess up your life! I'm glad  you asked Florinda those questions, cause I want to know too!

 

I probably need a counselor too. I get really confused about relationships. I hate men taking up time when I don't want them, but then when I am alone, I think I want one in my life again.

[coops 1,790]

Oh, Sheryl, I didn't mean that you had 6 - I meant the thought of 6!  Out of curiosity, why had your counselor suggested more than one guy?  Doesn't that complicate the whole dating thing? 

Honestly, if I was ever in the position where I needed to date, i really wouldn't know where to start!

[CowgirlJane 14,259]

Coops.. I have heard that.normal people casually date several for say months before they zero in on one guy to develop a relationship with. I have never done that. I am not looking to marry but I am not looking to spend 3 months in a torrid tryst and move on either. Seems like too many people my age do that over and over again. ... so the point is to keep things light until you get to know them, then narrow down to the one that the relationship forms with. Good idea but just not something I do. Partly it's time limitations and partly because it interferes with my bonding. Well that's the point. Don't bond too early but I realize that is the emotional state I seek. I don't fall in love that easily and for me a real risk I just lose interest pretty early on. If i always have the next one to think about I just don't seem to find a connection so I am not currently following her advice.

Theo and I crossed a big threshold. .. I met his 2 best friends and went to a B day party of someone - his friends mother- where I met a bunch of his general "people". He thanked me about 3 times for it since i spent the day wuth strangers including one of his ex girlfriend. .haha but I had a great time. Every woman there was either currently or previously into horses. I felt like I was dropped into a crowd of my people! Ruby who recently turned 91 told me she finally stopped riding when her last horse got old and died...dammit! Fun and welcoming crowd. Today, theo meets several of my friends which I am a bit nervous about too! I know they will like him but still...

Denise I don't know about counseling. .. I see her about 1- 2x a monthto overcome my anxiety and she has really helped. The dating coaching is a side thing. I was thinking about what you wrote and it seems like you would enjoy having bill as a b friend alot more if he didn't smother you. I really like seeing someone 1-2 a week supplemented with a few, but not daily, calls. Would you feel the benefits without the resentment for taking over your life if it was more like that?

[coops 1,790]

Back to work tomo after a glorious 6 weeks off!  It is gonna be a stressful term so I gotta get my head in the game and soon... like I said before, time management is gonna be an area for me to focus on,

I am also gonna reboot my 5:2 kicking off tomo with my first proper fast day for over 3 weeks!  Wish me luck!

[coops 1,790]

nearly finished my first proper fast day in a while... holding on in there, but I won't lie it has been tough!

[UK Cathy 977]

Good for you coops, hang on in there. No fast for me today, but carbs cut right down.

[Oregondaisy 2,019]

I was going to try to fast today but now my friend called and said she's coming over with taco bell. I am going to eat a very light dinner.< /p>

yes, I do enjoy Bill but he can be so all consuming. I have explained that to him and he's trying to work with the person he is seeing on the several issues I have brought up. It kind of impresses me that he's willing to work so hard because he says he loves me so much and has so much to lose.

I am still thinking I am going to take the dance classes that start later in the month. I'm going to call the college and find out what night they're on.