guilt Anyone else feel guilty about doing this?

[Amy Glaspie Clayton 0]

Speaking honestly, I don't like the guilt bit. Intellectually, maybe, I can see how stomach cancer and intestinal resectioning is similar to WLS. And that the scenarios described above could describe someone who's suffering from a kind of "survivor guilt." But I really don't want to validate those feelings in any way. At all.

Your continuing to be disabled (physically, emotionally, professionally) doesn't help anyone else who's disabled at all. Your getting better doesn't help anyone who's not doing well at all. Your living -- and living life fully -- doesn't bring back to life anyone who has died or who is dying.

Yes, our feelings must be acknowledged. But at the end of the day, at some point before we climb onto the funeral pyre to be consumed with the bodies of those we love, those kinds of feelings that paralyze your good sense should not be allowed to influence your decisions and your actions that can lead to your own survival.

If you want to live, you have to choose life. And you don't need to apologize to anyone, including yourself, for your decision to live.

[Amy Glaspie Clayton 0]

Thank you for that.... So me choosing to live is choosing the surgery? I know that's my decisions, but I want to know your thoughts...please.

[Ms. Nunya 126]

Guilty? Nope! I have been thin almost all of my adult life. Stress eating for the past 3 years has taken its toll and I have had it. I'm not about this plus size life. I can't imagine being this heavy any longer than I have to be. I don't want my minor health issues to turn into severe ones. I'm praying for a safe procedure, a good recovery, and staying on track for life. Key word... LIFE! I'm recognizing my over-eating triggers and I'm working on that as well. Best of luck to you.

Edited July 14, 2015 by prettyinPINKandGREEN

[VSGAnn2014 12,992]

From where I sit, having had WLS and seeing how it has changed my life dramatically and all for the better in less than a year, I would definitely equate weight loss surgery with choosing to live life fully.

You should, of course, educate yourself about weight loss surgery -- what's required pre-op, post-op and lifelong to be successful with it. There's a lot you don't know yet, but you will learn if you do choose to have the surgery.

Most people I know have taken their spouse with them to an introductory lecture about WLS, as well as to pre-surgery consultations with the surgeon. Your surgery will impact their lives, too, and you will want your husband to support you through this experience. There's NO way he will understand what's involved -- the benefits, the risks, the journey itself -- unless he can (like you) get educated about it.

Don't shut him out of it. Invite him to learn about it as you learn about it. Obesity (like many other diseases) is a family disease in that it can impact everyone in the family. Your bad health has affected your family, and your increasing good health will affect it, too -- just differently.

Hang in there. We all had to make the same decisions you're making now.

[Amy Glaspie Clayton 0]

Thank y'all so much!!! For the pass week 1/2 I've done so much research that I can either perform it or be a life coach myself!!????????????????, But I know there is never enough info we can receive on topics like these.. I have my 1st appt. On tomorrow. My husband will be still at work.. I was upset earlier, I didn't to tell him how excited I was about it. I'm not sure if doesn't approve of me going, I do believe that he want me to be happy tho... Whether he agrees or not I'm still going and want the surgery.. I guess there lye some of my guilt. I'm not sure if he want me to go...

Edited July 13, 2015 by Amy Glaspie Clayton

[nursey 46 38]

Intellectually, I know I'm doing this for my health and for the right reasons. In my head, I know I have nothing to feel guilty about and I know I'm being proactive so that I can live a long, healthy life. However, I feel guilty about cutting out a part of my digestive system that isn't putting me in imminent danger. If only my heart could understand what my head understands.

I have a different view on VSG. I believe that I am a food addict and my body and mind is predisposed to crave certain foods. And not only that, my body is very efficient at storing calories against future needs. Currently, food addiction is not a recognized condition, but who knows, in a few more years, it might be. And eventually it could be treated like alcohol or any other addiction.

But there is one thing I do know, food producers are working hard to make foods that make us want more of them. That only makes sense, produce products that people want. Unfortunately, those same products work too well on people like me.

I can't explain my preoccupation with food for so many years any other way. I could eat a filling meal and then, two hours later, I'd be thinking about eating again. I'd get cravings for certain flavors and could get them out of my head until I ate them.

I believed all the hype that if only I could just cut back on calories and exercise more, I could be thin like the beautiful people. Not being normal was a failing on my part.

Six months post-op, and I think all that crap about "just cut back" "push the plate away" is just that - crap. When your mind is telling you that you're hungry every two hours, it's like a little kid tugging on your arm saying, "I want a candy bar, I want a candy bar!" And I couldn't get rid of him. And eventually it just wore me down, till I gave in.

Whether the surgery removed the part of my stomach that was producing the "hunger" hormone or if the surgery was just the psychological kick in the pants I needed, I now have a completely different attitude towards food. I no longer have that "little kid" tugging on my arm and the only cravings I experience now are for bananas\strawberries\watermelon - good for you foods. And most of the time, I only want them because I happened to walk past them at the store. Those days of suddenly wanting a cherry pie or a double cheese burger with fries - for no apparent reason - are gone.

Now don't get me wrong, I still fight head hunger and sometimes try to keep eating even after I am full. So I've still got things to work on. But I'm on the downhill side and I don't feel like I am in an impossible to overcome situation.

I know I was in imminent danger - mentally as well as physically, just undiagnosed.

well said. I'm a good junkie too.