All right. So I'm due back at work next week and I'm definitely ready to get out of the house!

My question is, what did you guys tell people when you didn't want to reveal the real surgery?

I'm at a loss. Some coworkers can be inquisitive. I won't say "nosey" because they're all very nice, but I'm sure they'll ask where I've been for 3 weeks and notice the ~15 lbs lost!

My thoughts were to say something about stomach ulcers. Or maybe something about my PCOS. I DO have PCOS and that's a major cause of my weight gain, so it's not a huge lie.

And then part of me wants to just tell the truth... Worded in a way like "my PCOS was bad and my insulin was skyrocketing (all true!) so I had this surgery to help me lose weight and fix the issues."

I'm sure I'm worrying over nothing but was just interested in what you guys told others. I'm a "lightweight" so I feel like this may confuse some of them or even insult some of the ladies who are larger than me.

Any tips?

Some days I wish we had a moderator around here....

Some days I wish we had a moderator around here....

I'm guessing that is a jab at me? To be honest, some of the worst post in this thread are yours.

But then that's my opinion.

Some days I wish we had a moderator around here....

I was on a pregnancy forum that had them and honestly it's really not welcoming to have those on a site full of grown people. Just try not to take stuff personal. That's what I do. Even when you think someone is trying to attack you just say they are attacking your opinion and move on. Getting all worked up on forums aren't worth it trust me. I use to and my husband would be like babe you don't know those people calm down its just a forum.

Just stick to your opinions and simply don't tolerate disrespect but don't get offended easily either.

I'm guessing that is a jab at me? To be honest' date=' some of the worst post in this thread are yours.[/quote']

And to be honest with you, she doesn't have the title of moderator. Can you tell me what that title means here? I'm confused, because it doesn't seem to include the same expectations that are true in other forums I've been engaged with.

EDIT: sorry, that sounds snarky, but I honestly want to know the answer, because I don't see moderation happening from any moderator. If that's expected, it would be good to know that we shouldn't rely on moderators to avoid fanning flames or to try and settle things down.

Sent from my Samsung Galaxy Note 2 using VST

I'm guessing that is a jab at me? To be honest' date=' some of the worst post in this thread are yours.

But then that's my opinion.[/quote']

The worst are mine?

Why thanks! I try

The op wanted ideas on something she was dealing with. Is it the way I would go??

No, but that's not the point here was it?

As a moderator I would of stepped in pages ago

And instead of jumping on a side ( with extreme judgment I might add)

I would of guided the conversation into a more civil place..

We will all never be on the same page with everything but calling out someone and questioning their moral compass ? it is a place I would draw the line...IF I WERE A MODERATOR!

I do not have a dog in this fight..

OTR their are times when you yourself come here and let it be known that you cheat on your marriage.. Do I agree with it f**k NO!

But is it my place to judge?

No it's not.

Well, would you please educate me on where I cheated on my marriage. That is one heck of an accusation. Good thing you are not a moderator.

And to be honest with you' date=' she doesn't have the title of moderator. Can you tell me what that title means here? I'm confused, because it doesn't seem to include the same expectations that are true in other forums I've been engaged with.

EDIT: sorry, that sounds snarky, but I honestly want to know the answer, because I don't see moderation happening from any moderator. If that's expected, it would be good to know that we shouldn't rely on moderators to avoid fanning flames or to try and settle things down.

Sent from my Samsung Galaxy Note 2 using VST[/quote']

A moderators job here is basically to address violations of forum policy. We do not stifle debate, we do not shut people down. Unless it comes to personal attacks. I can tell you 90% of the moderation on this forum happens in PM. If you an administrative type post, you can be assured that it is because forum rules have been violated more that once or so egregiously that a public action was necessary.

Well' date=' would you please educate me on where I cheated on my marriage. That is one heck of an accusation. Good thing you are not a moderator.[/quote']

OTR anyone that's been here for an amount of time, has seen it numerous times, when you tell women here that you are available even though you are married!

Where you joking all these times? I guess you can say you were? Who am I to argue!

Who am I to judge?

oh and if you are going to say that it never happened? Wouldn't that be a lie??

Might be time to kick my butt outta here huh?

I don't believe that we should necessarily blast our personal business to the world, but I hate the "just tell them you're watching your calories and exercising more" idea. Here's why...

When you've (anyone here!) struggled with your weight for years and years and you see someone *successfully* losing a lot of weight and keeping it off, do you ask them for advice? Maybe you think that they're doing something you haven't tried, because more than likely, YOU'VE tried the "eat less/exercise more" option, too...and it didn't work very well. If they've had WLS and just aren't willing to share that info, then you might even think that, somehow, you're doing it wrong (the eat less/exercise more idea) or just aren't strong enough or motivated enough.

I struggled with my weight for 20+ years. When I finally had LapBand surgery and lost 85 lbs, I honestly don't think it would have been fair to OTHER overweight people to LIE about the major TOOL that was helping me. It'd be like telling someone you changed a tire with a lot of sweat and hard work...without mentioning the car jack and lug wrench.

Obviously, everyone has to make their own choices in this, but my mama raised me to tell the truth...not just a partial truth or an "edited" version of it. So I say...either tell them nothing (say it's personal and you'd rather not talk about it) or tell them the truth.

I agree. Having struggling with weightloss for so long, I know I wouldn't appreciate somebody lying to me about how they lost weight. I'm now 8 days post op, and I'm just telling people as I see them and it comes up. I've been really surprised at how supportive everybody has been.

Ok this thread has went way out of control! If you are willing to tell people about your surgery then please do so. If you feel its none of anyones business that is your right. Thats why there are the Hippa laws now. We have the right not to disclose our info if we feel its no ones business. That is a fact with all medical and law professions in America and also in most churches. You always can plead the 5th Amendment that is your right as an American. For those who want to tell the world you had WLS more power to you. With all the advertising on billboards, tv and radio commercials people already know that there is help out there if they desire to get the help. This is 2013 everything is advertised these days you dont have to find out from another person about WLS. You can google anything and find out.

OTR anyone that's been here for an amount of time' date=' has seen you try and pick up on women here and put it out there that you are available even though you are married!

Where you joking all these times? I guess you can say you were? Who am I to argue!

I will say that you being a moderator and talking like that kinda made my skin crawl but hey to each his own right?

oh and if you are going to say that it never happened? Wouldn't that be a lie??

Might be time to kick my butt outta here huh?[/quote']

If I were to say that I actually said that I did sleep with anybody on this forum, that would be a lie. But, I don't believe you can point to anywhere where I did claim that. Kind of makes your statement a bit presumptuous, doesn't it?

I told everyone the truth. I knew there would be questions if I didn't and I've always tried to be open. I had my surgery on May 1st. Before surgery, people approached me and tried to talk me out of it. They did it out of concern. I talked with them and explained my reasons for having the surgery. They supported me. Now that I have had the surgery, there are people who want to have the surgery, but are afraid, coming to me to talk about it. Then there are those that say the most unbelievable things. I just tell them, this is my life, my decision and my journey. I don't know how it is going to turn out, but I would love their support and encouragement. I am 51 years old. I only wish I would have done this sooner. They seem to choose to support me. I can use all the support I can get.

If I were to say that I actually said that I did sleep with anybody on this forum' date=' that would be a lie. But, I don't believe you can point to anywhere where I did claim that. Kind of makes your statement a bit presumptuous, doesn't it?[/quote']

Whether or not you "scored" is beside the point!

But it wasn't for a lack of trying though? Huh?

The point is, that this thread was allowed to continue and in some ways egged on by you and your opinions (judgements disguised as opinions)

The op herself came back several times to voice her dismay over the direction of it.

As a moderator it would of been nice if you had at least tried to reel it in a bit...

Even if that meant shutting me up too!

O.T.R.- http://www.verticals...hl__sex__st__40

Quotes from that thread

"FYI, I'm STD free & had a vasectomy. And I'm mobile"

"Yup, she (wife) knows everything."

"I make trips to Ohio (wink)"

I happened to remember this thread from a while ago. I'm not sure if you were joking around but it sure does seem like you'd be willing to hook up with people, even though you're married. To each their own. I also think I remember you making a comment about being able to do "house calls" since you travel a lot. Every marriage is different. That wouldn't work for my marriage but don't worry......... I wont force my beliefs on you.

Oh snap!