Ideas for what to tell people?

[fyre_storm 1,412]

Oh snap!

[mistysj 1,939]

Why does every thread here turn into so much drama? Haven't we been insulted and torn down for being fat all our lives? Why do we have to do it to each other about every little thing? And why is it only the women? I never see drama in the man room. Even though I'm not a man, it is much more pleasant in there.

[Molly3 495]

WOW & here I thought the other forums were bad?! SMH!

The OP didn't ask for this! She wanted the subject to be closed!

Most of you have helped me with your words of wisdom here!

Can WE ALL just go back to supporting each other and move on.....

[SqueakyWheel&Ethyl 160]

I have no respect at all for those who lie.

You must lead a very lonely life then. Everyone - you included - has cause to lie at one time or another. NOTHING is EVER black or white. Right or wrong. To throw a blanket of disrespect on everyone who lies is throwing a blanket on yourself, too.

And, I am bewildered as to why it MATTERS so much to you what a total stranger chooses to share about their own journey in life. Not only, why do you care.... But, why are you getting so worked up about it??? Do you really want to be attacked by people who are SUPPOSED to be supportive of you? That's exactly what you are doing!

You don't know the struggles each person here faces on a daily basis. Your life is nothing like theirs. Anyone who believes it has to be 'their way or the highway' needs a reality check.

[SpaceDust 585]

A moderators job here is basically to address violations of forum policy. We do not stifle debate, we do not shut people down. Unless it comes to personal attacks. I can tell you 90% of the moderation on this forum happens in PM. If you an administrative type post, you can be assured that it is because forum rules have been violated more that once or so egregiously that a public action was necessary.

I see. Thank you for answering. To me, this doesn't seem like a moderator in the terms of any other forum I've ever frequented or moderated, it sounds like an administrator. I'd really like to see someone who is responsible for keeping things more even-tempered and less of a full-on snarkfest. I'm not suggesting a stifling of useful debate - disagreements are to be expected and most people generally have some valid reasons for their positions, and it's good to see those discussed, even with some passion. But when threads flame out of control like this, I think that it's bad for everyone, including newbies on the site who get scared away by the viterol. Any semblance of useful discourse fled this thread about 9 pages ago, but I keep peeking back into it - it's like a train wreck. I hate it, but there's a weird fascination in it.

Good luck to all with whatever you decide, whether to tell, not tell, bend the truth, or tell the part of the truth you're comfortable in sharing. It isn't my, or anyone else's, business to dictate how you proceed. All we can offer is our perspective, for you to pick up or leave on the table.

[tastic 10]

Any day I'm able to lose the weight without eating less or differently n not on some workout program, then I will feel bad. Am I a liar? Yeah. Self preservation is key for me. I can't handle it right now. Bless God for the environment you're in if telling them about your WLS worked out it would not in my world.

[O.T.R. sleever 3,386]

O.T.R.- http://www.verticals...hl__sex__st__40

Quotes from that thread

"FYI' date=' I'm STD free & had a vasectomy. And I'm mobile"

"Yup, she (wife) knows everything."

"I make trips to Ohio (wink)"

I happened to remember this thread from a while ago. I'm not sure if you were joking around but it sure does seem like you'd be willing to hook up with people, even though you're married. To each their own. I also think I remember you making a comment about being able to do "house calls" since you travel a lot. Every marriage is different. That wouldn't work for my marriage but don't worry......... I wont force my beliefs on you.[/quote']

You are right, every marriage is different. And as I posted in that post, "my wife knows everything". She knows exactly what I've posted, she actually has full access to my acct. Let me assure you that "if" I were to actually engage Another woman sexually, it wouldn't be cheating, as I would have full consent, I do not hide anything from my wife. And if I were to act upon such a desire, it sure as hell wouldn't be with someone I've only met across a computer screen. And believe me, I do know a hing or two about discretion, so if it were any more than over the top flirting it surely would not be on a public forum for the world to see.

I am also wondering why this left turn in this thread. A thread about "what to tell others about weightloss", Laura & you have decided to steer toward my sex life. Very interesting how when you apparently cannot defend your position on he subject at hand, you search out another avenue to attack people with opposing viewpoints. Nice try though.

[Bos123 221]

You are right' date=' every marriage is different. And as I posted in that post, "my wife knows everything". She knows exactly what I've posted, she actually has full access to my acct. Let me assure you that "if" I were to actually engage Another woman sexually, it wouldn't be cheating, as I would have full consent, I do not hide anything from my wife. And if I were to act upon such a desire, it sure as hell wouldn't be with someone I've only met across a computer screen. And believe me, I do know a hing or two about discretion, so if it were any more than over the top flirting it surely would not be on a public forum for the world to see.

I am also wondering why this left turn in this thread. A thread about "what to tell others about weightloss", Laura & you have decided to steer toward my sex life. Very interesting how when you apparently cannot defend your position on he subject at hand, you search out another avenue to attack people with opposing viewpoints. Nice try though.[/quote']

Not that I follow all of convos so maybe I'm

Out of place here. But annoyance from

People about your way of moderating does not constitute them taking jabs at your family, marriage, or Friendly flirting. Any I saw I took as complete jokes. So totally uncalled

For on their part. Sorry this discussion took a turn for the worse at your personal expense.

[rdt210 82]

So when someone asks "how are you" and you respond "fine" when you actually have a horrible headache and Constipation (and they could possibly be suffering the same) you are being a liar?? I think everyone should see the movie "the invention of lying" with Ricky Gervais for some perspective. :-)

[sarahzamudio1091 185]

Everyone can go on and on about this subject. It just goes in circles, happens every time people bring up lying about surgery . There's no use !people have their minds made up on what they will say and do. Everyone is just wasting time arguing about it. But my question is why do people say their going to unsubscribe to this thread then 30 minutes later they are posting something on this again ? Lol

[sarahzamudio1091 185]

But by the way, I choose to tell the truth and not Lie . Idgaf what people say or think about me . Thank god for tough skin

[No game 14,436]

I wonder what's worse.....

Lying to others, or lying to oneself on a daily basis?

[Banned member 320]

You are right, every marriage is different. And as I posted in that post, "my wife knows everything". She knows exactly what I've posted, she actually has full access to my acct. Let me assure you that "if" I were to actually engage Another woman sexually, it wouldn't be cheating, as I would have full consent, I do not hide anything from my wife. And if I were to act upon such a desire, it sure as hell wouldn't be with someone I've only met across a computer screen. And believe me, I do know a hing or two about discretion, so if it were any more than over the top flirting it surely would not be on a public forum for the world to see.

I am also wondering why this left turn in this thread. A thread about "what to tell others about weightloss", Laura & you have decided to steer toward my sex life. Very interesting how when you apparently cannot defend your position on he subject at hand, you search out another avenue to attack people with opposing viewpoints. Nice try though.

You asked for someone to show where you've cheated on your marriage. In MY marriage that would be cheating. You obviously have a open marriage and that's okay. My point was to prove that everyone is different and that certain things work for certain people. My point is that I'm not judging you for living your life differently than me but yet you feel the need to criticize mine and get all defensive when I post a link to one of your discussions where you've flirted or made it obvious that you would pursue other women even though you are married. I defended my position SEVERAL TIMES. I also stated several times in this discussion that I tell people that I watch what I eat and exercise but that reply isn't good enough for you because it's lying yada yada. As soon as the discussion dies down, you come back in to fan the flames by saying "my idea of what to tell people is the truth. Why do I get attacked for that? ". We agreed to disagree on that but you were itching to get back into the discussion. You stir up the drama again with continuing to call people liars and implying that they lack integrity. Your opinion is your opinion. I prefer to live and let live.

[leeann71 539]

I love when people are chronic liars, they actually believe what they lie about is the truth. And to them we are the liars. Lol some people are so full of sh*t.

[No game 14,436]

I think at the end of the day? We are all flawed human beings as was made quite evident in this thread...

We are all guilty but I also believe we are all trying to become better people, whatever that means in our own minds..