Ideas for what to tell people?

[newat52 1,612]

And y'all care what I/we say or tell others.. Why?

Judge Not Lest You Be Judged

I've asked that question several times and have yet to get an answer. Can only speculate it makes them feel better about themselves by trying to shame others. You think?

[Ms.AntiBand 2,984]

No clue..

[LouiseC 1,029]

Wow! What a piece of work this response is!!

I guess I will beat the dead horse again here.

"Wow. People sure do look for offence where there is none."

This line of yours may be true or not....

But the rest of the crap written here is

OFFENSIVE! Oh and as you say "repulsive and unattractive"

Judge much?

Say whatever you like in order to try and justify your position. It is irrelevant to me and no amount of name calling will turn the person who consciously and actively choses to lie and deceive others into anything other than a liar. Because lying is lying, regardless of reason or motivation. You can go on the attack towards me, and others, all you like but it doesn't change the fact of it.

Do I judge people for lying? Yes. Yes I do. When someone lies, when someone is dishonest with me or with others, then yes I do judge them as a liar. This judgement means I will be careful I my dealings with that person and that I will not automatically believe anything they say or trust in their word. I am not at all ashamed of the ability to judge and reason as the best indicator of someone's future behaviour is past behaviour and any one skilled in interpersonal relationships knows this and makes decisions on who they trust and don't trust.

People have a choice here, tell the truth, or keep the truth to yourself and say nothing, or lie. Respect the first two. I have no respect at all for those who lie.

[Ms.AntiBand 2,984]

Say whatever you like in order to try and justify your position. It is irrelevant to me and no amount of name calling will turn the person who consciously and actively choses to lie and deceive others into anything other than a liar. Because lying is lying, regardless of reason or motivation. You can go on the attack towards me, and others, all you like but it doesn't change the fact of it.

Do I judge people for lying? Yes. Yes I do. When someone lies, when someone is dishonest with me or with others, then yes I do judge them as a liar. This judgement means I will be careful I my dealings with that person and that I will not automatically believe anything they say or trust in their word. I am not at all ashamed of the ability to judge and reason as the best indicator of someone's future behaviour is past behaviour and any one skilled in interpersonal relationships knows this and makes decisions on who they trust and don't trust.

People have a choice here, tell the truth, or keep the truth to yourself and say nothing, or lie. Respect the first two. I have no respect at all for those who lie.

Dang.. Only in my dreams can I imagine being as perfect as you. Because I tell people I'm eating less and excercising I am forever going to simmer in purgatory.

[LouiseC 1,029]

Dang.. Only in my dreams can I imagine being as perfect as you. Because I tell people I'm eating less and excercising I am forever going to simmer in purgatory.

Huh? I don't know about purgatory. I am an atheist and deal in the truth not in make believe. I am not perfect nor did I ever claim to be. All I claim to be is honest, and prudent in not trusting others once they demonstrate them selves to be untrustworthy.

Whether or not you lie is of no consequence to me at all. You are free to be a liar and I do not for a moment consider you will simmer in any purgatory, burn in any hellfire, or be judges at some world ending moment. You being a liar just means others won't trust you nor will they believe what you say. Your choice and your consequence nothing at all to do with me.

[newat52 1,612]

Say whatever you like in order to try and justify your position. It is irrelevant to me and no amount of name calling will turn the person who consciously and actively choses to lie and deceive others into anything other than a liar. Because lying is lying, regardless of reason or motivation. You can go on the attack towards me, and others, all you like but it doesn't change the fact of it.

Do I judge people for lying? Yes. Yes I do. When someone lies, when someone is dishonest with me or with others, then yes I do judge them as a liar. This judgement means I will be careful I my dealings with that person and that I will not automatically believe anything they say or trust in their word. I am not at all ashamed of the ability to judge and reason as the best indicator of someone's future behaviour is past behaviour and any one skilled in interpersonal relationships knows this and makes decisions on who they trust and don't trust.

People have a choice here, tell the truth, or keep the truth to yourself and say nothing, or lie. Respect the first two. I have no respect at all for those who lie.

Must be one hell of a glass house you live in!

Just one question. How do you judge yourself for lying? You've done it, you know you have. Can't imagine you avoid yourself.

[LouiseC 1,029]

Must be one hell of a glass house you live in!

Just one question. How do you judge yourself for lying? You've done it' date=' you know you have. Can't imagine you avoid yourself.[/quote']

It has been many years since I actively lied. I learned the consequences of lying and made a commitment to truth some time ago in a situation similar to what has been shared in this thread. When I made poor choices from misguided intentions and got myself caught in a web of deceit that span out of control. I judged myself by recognising I had done wrong, by realising I had been dishonest and then by doing the hard tasks of untangling the web of deceit I had spun and telling the truth. It taught me humility, it cost me friendships and the trust of people i respected, and, more importantly, it taught me the value of the truth.

Does that answer your question?

[No game 14,436]

[Banned member 320]

Your lie sounds like it's something far more serious, than withholding the fact that one has had wls. So you're trying to say that you have been 100% truthful since then?

[812many 21]

To tell or not to tell....WHO CARES? The original post asked what to tell people when she goes back to work and answers were given on what each individual would say or not say. It really doesn't matter but people aren't dumb, these types of surgeries are very popular and get discussed all the time! I mean you can't really think your co workers and or family & friends won't notice the tiny amount of food you can now tolerate and how fast the weight is coming off (even for slow losers )? Most people figure it out! I personally hope I can help someone that may want to follow my lead

[No game 14,436]

telling the truth. It taught me humility' date=' it cost me friendships and the trust of people i respected, and, more importantly, it taught me the value of the truth.

?[/quote']

“There is nothing noble in being superior to your fellow man; true nobility is being superior to your former self.”

― Ernest Hemingway

[LouiseC 1,029]

Your lie sounds like it's something far more serious' date=' than withholding the fact that one has had wls. So you're trying to say that you have been 100% truthful since then?[/quote']

Funny enough it wasn't serious, it was silly and would never have been an issue in the first place if i had just been honest instead of worried what others would think. It was more a lie of omission, letting people believe one thing to be true when it wasn't the whole truth and just got messier and uglier with time.

And yes, I am saying that I have been actively truthful since then. Integrity is an important value to me.

[BriDawn 79]

This is getting out of control guys. Seriously, just stop. I didn't think asking this question would actually end in me unsubscribing from my own thread because it's getting THAT annoying.

I don't see why anyone cares what another person chooses to say... I just wanted some thoughts on good cover stories since I feel that it's not the world's business to know. I would really rather my coworkers didn't define me by my surgery.

But either way, to each their own. It's starting to sound like angry children in here. Thanks to those that actually helped me. I'm officially done with the thread though!

[Kalimomof3 613]

If "I eat less and exercise more" is a lie by omission because I fail to mention I had surgery?

Is it a lie of omission to say I drove to work but fail to mention what kind of car I drove and what kind of gas I put in it? Because eating less and exercising more is what I do I don't have to tell you why and how I am able to eat less.I don't think a detailed description is what anyone needs or gives to every question asked of them. I will give that answer if I need to bc it is much nicer than what I want to say which is "it's of your damn business" lol.Call me liar I am fine with that because anyone who says they volunteer every single detail to every question asked is also a liar.I responded to the OP about what I would say in her situation but all of this back and forth about what constitutes lying and the judgement going around is crazy.

[leeann71 539]

It has been many years since I actively lied. I learned the consequences of lying and made a commitment to truth some time ago in a situation similar to what has been shared in this thread. When I made poor choices from misguided intentions and got myself caught in a web of deceit that span out of control. I judged myself by recognising I had done wrong' date=' by realising I had been dishonest and then by doing the hard tasks of untangling the web of deceit I had spun and telling the truth. It taught me humility, it cost me friendships and the trust of people i respected, and, more importantly, it taught me the value of the truth.

Does that answer your question?[/quote']

Oh come on! So you dont lie about anything! I doubt that seriously. There is no way in hell you are perfect about not lying. As a matter of fact more than likely you are lying right now.