So last night turned into world war 3 in my house. Husband is angry that I want to convert to the sleeve. He's all for me getting the band out but is totally opposed to the conversion. He supported me through the band decision, and agrees that it has been an utter failure, my fault of course, but says he can not support my decision to convert to the sleeve, as it will most likely also be a failure cause "I won't stop eating!" (his words)

He loves me just the way I am, he thinks I'm beautiful, he doesn't understand why I would jeapordize my life (again his words) in order to be skinny. He's not buying that it is for my health, I have lupus and I am always stiff and hurting, hoping losing weight will help with some of these symptoms but he doesn't think it will work.

Don't misunderstand please, he loves me and I think he is just extremely scared that something bad will happen, but has anyone had any success in convincing a loved one that this is the right decision for you.

sorry to say but your not ready for the sleeve yet , first you need to get to a good therapist to work on your eating disorder and see your surgeon about adjusting your band , your band did not fail you , there are no health problems from your band , you need to learn to work your tool , the sleeve is just a different tool and if you can't work your band the sleeve will fail also

the ds might be a better choose for you when you are ready for a revision, but till you can get your eating under some kind of control none of them w:ill work

your hubby does not think you need to lose weigh maybe he is right , you have not said what your weight is so we don't know , I have seen girls

that weigh 65 lbs think they need to lose weight and yes there are some real crappy doctors out there that will do the surgery on them for the right price

if your hubby is worried about you maybe he is right , if he is wrong prove him wrong

It truly baffles me that people so easily cast judgement on others! Such things like...you've eaten something bad, so you weren't ready for the sleeve. You're mournful of the amount of food you use to eat so you didn't do enough research and you are not ready for the sleeve! Really, like who are you to decide if a person is ready or not! While I am not mournful of food because I don't deprive myself of items ( this is not a diet and should not be treated as such, but life changing habits should be established), but I am mournful of the fact that I can't be or appear like a normal eating adult around others. Some will say oh people don't pay that much attention. Yes they do and folks are always commenting on my eating habits! But oh well!

To the OP, I am sorry that he isn't supportive right now...trying showing him some research anx stats on the amount of people who dont have success at the band. Let him visit this site to read of others' band struggle. And you definitely will have success with the sleeve! Your tummy will not allow you to over eat in one sitting, but sabatoge is possible through slider foods.

Best of luck to you!

I would say give him time to adjust to the idea of the revision. My husband was not on board at all with the idea and on top of that I'm going to Mexico to have it done. He was terrified. I have not had the surgery yet but I laid it all out there for him and didn't bring it up anymore. After a few weeks he's now extremely happy for me and is anticipating the day. It's not easy having someone that loves you be against you in something you feel passionately about. Just give him time and show him some success stories. Like cowgirl, she would be a good one to start with.

Most of us are here for you and I hope things get better.

Thanks all. He has said that of course he will support me in anything that I chose to do. Just wish the surgery itself didn't scare him. It doesn't scare me, being in healthcare the OR is not a scarey place to me. If I didn't trust my surgeon I wouldn't let him cut me open.

I agree stefaniwig, maybe I can get cowgirl to sit with the hubster during the surgery lol.

I just had a huge fight with my partner over having surgery as well. I'm scheduled for VSG on May 15, have a fairly low BMI right now (as far as surgery is concerned) and I keep hearing 'if your post op diet says don't eat fried foods and candy, why don't you just stop eating fries foods and candy without the surgery! Its really not that difficult.' what am I supposed to say....she's never been overweight a day in her life.

sorry to say but your not ready for the sleeve yet , first you need to get to a good therapist to work on your eating disorder and see your surgeon about adjusting your band , your band did not fail you , there are no health problems from your band , you need to learn to work your tool , the sleeve is just a different tool and if you can't work your band the sleeve will fail also

the ds might be a better choose for you when you are ready for a revision, but till you can get your eating under some kind of control none of them will work

your hubby does not think you need to lose weigh maybe he is right , you have not said what your weight is so we don't know , I have seen girls

that weigh 65 lbs think they need to lose weight and yes there are some real crappy doctors out there that will do the surgery on them for the right price

if your hubby is worried about you maybe he is right , if he is wrong prove him wrong

some of this is so offensive on many levels. First of all, recent 10 year research shown to me by the US gastric doctor who does my fills has proven the lapband is only 60% successful. He admits himself that the lapband is proving to not be an effective tool. Secondly, telling someone to "work her tool" is incredibly self-righteous as well as actually instructing a woman she is not ready for the sleeve. WOW. you need to back that wagon up a bit and do a little more research before crapping all over someones discussion.

Trust me. Those of us who have had the lapband and have suffered its failure have also spent years dealing with the head issues, especially when the band is adequately filled and we cant eat even good Proteins.

I totally agree cause u could eat around the sleeve yes it helps w portions but if u eat lunch then 20 minutes it again and again then it's possible the you could feel at the sleeve

How true. You can gain/regain weight with the sleeve or any type of WLS. Everyone needs to stop pretending otherwise.This is why getting the head in gear along with the body is so important.

When I was in MX one of the ladies had their band removed due to it eroding in her stomach, I have heard that about a few of them.

I had many many arguments with my parents, and had to convince them that the sleeve was right for me. When they finally agreed to having a bariatric procedure, they wanted the band, and that led to more fights. It stems from a place of love and concern, I understand where your husband is coming from.

Even my parents thought it was as simple as eating better, or eating less. They thought, if my diet changes would help post-op, why not make those changes without surgery? The sleeve does a lot more than the band in that way. It brings satiety, which is so important in finding weight loss success, and overall happiness.

It helped us as a family to approach the situation practically, and arm ourselves with education. I presented them with the differences between the procedures, statistics of complications, and we picked a surgeon only after getting good recommendations from other doctors and nurses that had worked with him. My parents were not convinced I would succeed with the surgery, but they were ultimately left with very little room for argument after all our research. It also helped for them to speak to post-op patients.

However, prior to surgery, I did have a long talk with the office's psychologist and nutritionist, to find where the weak points were in my support network and my own behaviors. I spoke with my parents about what I would need from them to help me change my lifestyle, and how their behaviors affected me. It was a very emotional time, but it helped bring us all closer, and paved the road to my health and happiness.