Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

how to deal with "non-supporters"



Recommended Posts

I just booked a space at a weight loss seminar for april 18 (im very excited). I mentioned this to my bff and she basically attacked me. She started saying how i dont need it and im only doing it to improve my looks ( which is way off base) and that i havent been dieting seriously. and i have. true i do not have any other comorbidities but i have many reasons why i want to do this which im sure you all could understand. she starts saying how im gonna have so much recovery time and im gonna have to do this this and this. How do you deal when someone is totally unsupportive of your decision? She thinks she knows everything about the world. should i just cut her out of the loop of this decision?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

She shouldn't be part of this decision. This is something for you & only you to decide. She might have been a little shocked at first, and might be ready to actually hear you out in a little bit. Then you can try to explain to her the reason for your decision, what you've been doing to prepare yourself .. maybe she'll even be up for attending the seminar with you to get some info to get her mind more at ease.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

She's worried about you changing. I have a strong personality so I think someone might be intimidated to say something like that to me, although I'm sure they think it. I have no comorbidities and have about 75-80 lbs to lose. I do want to look better, feel better, walk better, exercise better. I have many reasons for doing this and they are all my own. I own them and no one can tell me that my reasons aren't good enough because they are MINE! Obviously if all my doctors have approved me I am a candidate. If she's that uncomfortable I would keep her out of the loop. After you've had this done and she see's how good you feel about yourself, she'll understand.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I agree with Andi in that it's your decision and yours alone. I myself have lost all support from friends and most of my family except for my mom and sister. My so called friends and family think I took the easy way out and everyday before I had the surgery, I was reminded that I was taking the easy road. I am 3 weeks post-op and I must say that this is by far the hardest thing I have ever had to do. Easy doesn't come close to what I've had to deal with the last 3 weeks. I sometimes feel alone with this journey and sometimes it feels like my doctors and his staff are my only friends who really understand why I got this surgery. So I understand where you are coming from. The best thing to do is ignore negativity and do what you feel is right for you. The best thing I did was join this forum because I feel surrounded by people who truly understand. I hope it all works out for you and good luck in your journey :);)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

She shouldn't be a part of your decision anyway. I would be firm and tell her this is your decision and hopefully she will still love you as a thinner. Don't make it confrontational, just a firm matter of fact conversation. Good luck!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I had a friend that told me i was selfish, I was taken the easy way out, so I stopped meeting her for coffee & chats told her I wont & don't do negativity, I was put on the milk diet she laughed & said you will crumble, this week I met her the first time in almost 11 weeks her face fell she was shocked not alone did I do the diet but you can see the weight loss that night she rang me to say I was an inspiration as she COULD NOT DO THE MILK DIET FOR 1 WEEK, your friend needs to see your serious and her negativity isn't welcome, good luck on your journey x

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I had a friend that told me i was selfish, I was taken the easy way out, so I stopped meeting her for coffee & chats told her I wont & don't do negativity, I was put on the milk diet she laughed & said you will crumble, this week I met her the first time in almost 11 weeks her face fell she was shocked not alone did I do the diet but you can see the weight loss that night she rang me to say I was an inspiration as she COULD NOT DO THE MILK DIET FOR 1 WEEK, your friend needs to see your serious and her negativity isn't welcome, good luck on your journey x

What does the milk diet consist of?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I sometimes feel alone with this journey and sometimes it feels like my doctors and his staff are my only friends who really understand why I got this surgery.

You're not alone, none of us are. We may be strangers, but we all have each other, and WE understand! :)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

If she was a true friend she would not act like a b***h.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I am surprised by the strong reactions that some people have. I wonder if they are jealous?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Not at all delt with two faced so called friends in my past.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Congratulations on starting this exciting process... Your friend may come around. It's quite a shock to some people. If she's truly a good friend, once she's over the shock, she'll strive to understand why you're having the surgery and she'll support you...

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

What does the milk diet consist of?

its low fat milk diet, its different everywhere some places they allow you a sml meal but my dr's said no. so I had 350mls of milk every 2hrs starting at 8am finishing at 10pm but I also had a boullion drink at 2pm for salt intake & tonight is my last nigh of it

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

its low fat milk diet, its different everywhere some places they allow you a sml meal but my dr's said no. so I had 350mls of milk every 2hrs starting at 8am finishing at 10pm but I also had a boullion drink at 2pm for salt intake & tonight is my last nigh of it

Oh that sounds just awful. I know I couldn't do it. I don't like milk at all, except in a bowl of Cereal. I'm hoping I can just get by with the Protein drinks.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • Aunty Mamo

      Iʻm roughly 6 weeks post-op this morning and have begun to feel like a normal human, with a normal human body again. I started introducing solid foods and pill forms of medications/supplements a couple of weeks ago and it's really amazing to eat meals with my family again, despite the fact that my portions are so much smaller than theirs. 
      I live on the island of Oʻahu and spend a lot of time in the water- for exercise, for play,  and for spiritual & mental health. The day I had my month out appointment with my surgeon, I packed all my gear in my truck, anticipating his permission to get back in the ocean. The minute I walked out of that hospital I drove straight to the shore and got in that water. Hallelujah! My appointment was at 10 am. I didn't get home until after 5 pm. 
      I'm down 31 pounds since the day of surgery and 47 since my pre-op diet began, with that typical week long stall occurring at three weeks. I'm really starting to see some changes lately- some of my clothing is too big, some fits again. The most drastic changes I notice however are in my face. I've also noticed my endurance and flexibility increasing. I was really starting to be held up physically, and I'm so grateful that I'm seeing that turn around in such short order. 
      My general disposition lately is hopeful and motivated. The only thing that bugs me on a daily basis still is the way those supplements make my house smell. So stink! But I just bought a smell proof bag online that other people use to put their pot in. My house doesn't stink anymore. 
       
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • BeanitoDiego

      Oh yeah, something I wanted to rant about, a billing dispute that cropped up 3 months ago.
      Surgery was in August of 2023. A bill shows up for over $7,000 in January. WTF? I asks myself. I know that I jumped through all of the insurance hoops and verified this and triple checked that, as did the surgeon's office. All was set, and I paid all of the known costs before surgery.
      A looong story short, is that an assistant surgeon that was in the process of accepting money from my insurance company touched me while I was under anesthesia. That is what the bill was for. But hey, guess what? Some federal legislation was enacted last year to help patients out when they cannot consent to being touched by someone out of their insurance network. These types of bills fall under something called, "surprise billing," and you don't have to put up with it.
      https://www.cms.gov/nosurprises
      I had to make a lot of phone calls to both the surgeon's office and the insurance company and explain my rights and what the maximum out of pocket costs were that I could be liable for. Also had to remind them that it isn't my place to be taking care of all of this and that I was going to escalate things if they could not play nice with one another.
      Quick ending is that I don't have to pay that $7,000+. Advocate, advocate, advocate for yourself no matter how long it takes and learn more about this law if you are ever hit with a surprise bill.
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • BeanitoDiego

      Some days I feel like an infiltrator... I'm participating in society as a "thin" person. They have no idea that I haven't always been one of them! 🤣
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • ChunkCat

      Thank you everyone for your well wishes! I totally forgot I wrote an update here... I'm one week post op today. I gained 15 lbs in water weight overnight because they had to give me tons of fluids to bring my BP up after surgery! I stayed one night in the hospital. Everything has been fine except I seem to have picked up a bug while I was there and I've been running a low grade fever, coughing, and a sore throat. So I've been hydrating well and sleeping a ton. So far the Covid tests are negative.
      I haven't been able to advance my diet past purees. Everything I eat other than tofu makes me choke and feels like trying to swallow rocks. They warned me it would get worse before it gets better, so lets hope this is all normal. I have my follow up on Monday so we'll see. Living on shakes and soup again is not fun. I had enough of them the first time!! LOL 
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • BeanitoDiego

      Still purging all of the larger clothing. This morning, a shirt that I ADORED wearing ended up on top. Hard to let it go, but it was also hard to let go of those habits that also no longer serve my highest good. Onward and upward!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×