How many of you guys have friends or family who turned jealous cuz they're insecure that you might be skinnier than them and how did you deal with it? I have a friend's who's been a good friends for many years but she keeps giving me " back handed compliments".and I'm starting to see jealousy in some family members. =\

I am glad they are now in your corner

I am 29 and been overweight my entire life. I am in my pre-op stage. My mom is the one that has been with me step by step during the process; she is not a very good coach, but she is trying to be supportive. Like this weekend I bought new shorts, in a size 16 (normally wear 20), she didn't say congradulations that you can wear those, instead she fussed because I bought new shorts. She doesn't understand that I really am more emotional drained then anything. I am a very private person, but I am trying to open up. On the other hand I told my grandparent's on my dad's side who have always been there for me, and they freaked out on me. So I don't mention it when I around them. They have watched me struggle with my weight, and I thought they would be excited. They have stated "you can do this yourself, you don't need surgery, you can try harder". I am not worried about my friends. I only have a few close friends and only 2 of them now, only cause one of them is my mom's friend and she told her about the surgery, and I was talking to her about it and the other is my friend who is thinking about the surgery. I am worried about the "after" surgery, because I am scared that I may lose the few close friends I have. But in the same aspect this will show me who my real friends are. The people who are my friends will be there for me because I am changing my outside not my inside. I wish you the best of luck.

Is it bad of me to want to tell you to "F***" 'em?

Sorry, seriously - it was my first thought!

Unfortunately some people have befriended the fat us so they feel better about themselves or to have support for themselves without knowing how to give it back. I had a friend who once told me after I lost weight, "but you were my fat friend. You made me look good at parties". I never spoke with her after that comment and sadly she didn't realize she even said it and when I confronted her years later she cried. I know she didn't mean to hurt me but it was a glimpse into how people pigeonhole fat people for comfort. The way I see it is when I'm at my happiest (working out, feeling healthy, in love, proud of myself, productive) I want others o be happy and feeling good. People who are unhappy want others to be unhappy with them. I only gather support from happy positive people. Good luck.

I do think you will inspire others to lose weight and that is flattery not insult.

So this morning I confirmed something I was suspecting. My friend and I were both banded in 2008 and both had to have it removed. Hers was done immediately in August of 2012 but my insurance denied me bc of low BMI. Recently I found out I was denied again and went about getting an appointment with a surgeon in MX. Only my husband knew. I really didnt want to tell anyone else but found myself telling her bc I needed a ride to the airport (my husband will be at work). I was shocked at her response. She thinks I'm doing it too quickly....werent we in it together last yr. Now she has moved on with loosing 100lbs and Im really happy for her bc its making her healthier. But shouldnt I get the same kind of support. I told my husband and we've agreed for me to just drive myself and he'll pick up the car. I wonder how many more friends I'm going to loose in this process.

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