Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

....frienfriends are saying i have not been there for them and i focus on myself....:(



Recommended Posts

i have two best friends i have had for over 20 yrs .They were there for me 100% during my surgery . one of those friends had facial reconstructive surgery 4 days after me and because she couldnt really talk right after, we would communicate by texting. after about 4 weeks she let me know her feelins were hurt because i had not made it a point to come see her ........she lives 45 mins away from me .....and i supposedly showed that i did not care ?!

well...........my other friend has a 93 y/o grandmother that is in a nursing home over 1000 miles away and was told she has less than a week to live. she told me this yesterday on the phone , and apparantly i wasnt sympathetic enough because she just called me to let me know she was hurt that i did not show any remorse ( i am a hospice care technician)....and all of the focus has been on me !!!!!!

my first friend as mentioned in the 1st one above ......has a sister who had a bypass 3 yrs ago in another state and my friend would let me know that all thie weight loss had gone to her sisters head and hoped it would not have the same affect on me ( she told me this several times back in october )

so ............i am thinkin that since losing my weight and feeling proud.........which anyone who has had wls would understand...my friends should continue to be happy for me right ?????i do get excited when i keep droppin sizes and pounds and want ppl to be excited for me..., my friends should understand that i am not gloating, i am just happy !!!

i have offered to take them out to dinner several times this past month , but have not found a good time for all 3 to do so ...so now , i have both of my best friends pissed at me, who think i only think of myself (not true ) , and i am not there for them ............ugh !!!!just had to vent .........

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I have had this problem too...my friends did not know about the surgery, however the bigger friends had a very hard time with me losing the weight....one of them who was smaller then me and now isn't is constantly putting me down with the comment, oh I better get into shape....you are almost smaller then me...I just ignore it, cause I know it's her low self esteem...but it would be nice if they could just be happy for me and leave the snide remarks out of it. If they are truly your friends this will pass and you will come out of it just fine. Good luck!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Friends can be such a pain at times. They are just scared they're losing their best friend. This is a good time to step back and cherish the accomplishments u have made. Maybe let them vent and reassure itself that u have done a courageous job taking care of u. U are a great role model for ur friends. It's just sad they can't express how fearful they are of losing u or u might abandon them. :) HUGS!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Unfortunately, friendships change. This is your time and you should be proud and feel good about what you have done. Hang in there and let them know you are here for them but you have a right to be selfish because you are taking care of your health.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • BeanitoDiego

      I changed my profile image to a molecule of protein. Why? Because I am certain that it saved my life.
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • eclarke

      Two years out. Lost 120 , regained 5 lbs. Recently has a bout of Norovirus, lost 7 pounds in two days. Now my stomach feels like it did right after my surgery. Sore, sensitive to even water.  Anyone out there have a similar experience?
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Eve411

      April Surgery
      Am I the only struggling to get weight down. I started with weight of 297 and now im 280 but seem to not lose more weight. My nutrtionist told me not to worry about the pounds because I might still be losing inches. However, I do not really see much of a difference is this happen to any of you, if so any tips?
      Thanks
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Clueless_girl

      Well recovering from gallbladder removal was a lot like recovering from the modified duodenal switch surgery, twice in 4 months yay 🥳😭. I'm having to battle cravings for everything i shouldn't have, on top of trying to figure out what happens after i eat something. Sigh, let me fast forward a couple of months when everyday isn't a constant battle and i can function like a normal person again! 😞
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • KeeWee

      It's been 10 long years! Here is my VSG weight loss surgiversary update..
      https://www.ae1bmerchme.com/post/10-year-surgiversary-update-for-2024 
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×