Anyone else get those looks or reaction when you tell people you are having surgery the " can't you just diet regularly" . I get so frustrated, I really feel like just saying" yeah I'm gonna take the easy way out instead because I don't want to diet" . Seriously this is one of those times you want to tell them walk in my shoes! I've always been heavy, fought all my life with yo-yo dieting and I finally decided to take action that requires actually MORE work than regular dieting! Sorry had to vent!

This topic comes up a lot. Some will say be honest and tell everyone and others will disagree. It seems to me that most people just don't understand and tend to make you feel worse rather than being encouraging and positive. I told my partner and my children who were all very supportive, but I am so glad I did not tell others as I would hate the judgement and cross-examinations.

I agree with you both..It is sad how people judge...I say f**k em and do you...lol..I too have been on so many diets I cant count.. I lost 1000's of pounds and gained them all back!!! I am done... losers bench is calling my name

I don't tell anyone...I didn't tell anyone before surgery...so I didnt have that to deal with...

I did tell someone that I planned to get a tummy tuck soon and the reaction was similar... if you can lose weight ( they have no idea HOW but do know I soend a LOT of time in the gym) then I just need to be diligent and work it off, basically said tummy tucks were for those with too much time & money on their hands

I just had a friend raving at me about trust and how hurt she is I didn't tell her! I don't understand why she's so angry it just pissed me off :-(

Anyone else get those looks or reaction when you tell people you are having surgery the " can't you just diet regularly" . I get so frustrated, I really feel like just saying" yeah I'm gonna take the easy way out instead because I don't want to diet" . Seriously this is one of those times you want to tell them walk in my shoes! I've always been heavy, fought all my life with yo-yo dieting and I finally decided to take action that requires actually MORE work than regular dieting! Sorry had to vent!

I haven't had anyone say anything negative at all everyone has been very supportive and encouraging. If someone were to say something negative I would have no problem at all educating them. My colleagues and I have also banded together to meet with cafeteria managers to discuss additional healthy options/portions for specialty dieters, WLS patients along with Gluten free options, so it's going to be a win-win.

I do try to keep it to myself, but workmates( I work in hospital) know and can be judgemental , but my core group, my home life totally support which is soooooo important luckily! I just never want to hear " you have such a pretty face, if you could only lose some weight !" Again! Gotta love it lol

I haven't shared the news w/ family & friends yet. I was planning on maybe telling a couple of people after I've had surgery. I think they would be shocked & surprised I took this step, but ultimately supportive. I've been focused on connectiong w/ people who have had surgery in the past and going to local support groups to share what I'm going through when I'm off the boards.

I too am confused on what to do about this. I just got approved today and the reality of this all is hitting hard. I have told my wife and kids, and they are supportive. But I kind of wish I could just disappear, get it done and move on without telling anyone. I have tons of family in the area, and I have always hated to let them know that I am dieting in the past. Even though they are supportive, it just calls attention to something I am very ashamed about. I really dread this decision and even if I don't say anything, it will become obvious pretty soon and then what? I know I am not answering your question, sorry. But I feel for you.

I didn't tell many people, just a handful of people I'm close to...and my boss. I asked her to keep it confidential, which she agreed to. Just ran into the VP of HR in the elevator, and she said "You look great. Heard you had that surgery". I denied it and asked her who told her that. I'm not sure how she knew, but I didn't tell anyone in HR why I was off. I'm pretty mad, I feel like my privacy has been violated. So inappropriate to ask someone that question!! And this is where people should really understand medical privacy!! Uggh.

Sorry for the rant, but if you want to keep it private, don't tell ANYONE but your significant other.

How inconsiderate of that person. Someone from HR should so know better!

I too always hated saying I was on a diet, I always felt people then watched everything I put in my mouth causing more pressure, so I can relate

I told everyone I could, but I also work in a call center. And because everyone where I work is inactive most of the time there was actually a bunch of other people who already had the surgery. For the most part everyone was happy and excited for me. The only part I am worried about is when I go back, I don't want everyone watching what I eat when I go back.......

I wondered the same thing! I've told my family and some coworkers know. They've been extremely supportive. I'm very proud that I'm taking this step...a few did ask me why I needed it and that I didn't look that overweight...I think to myself I'm 5'2" and weigh 224, I tell them that I have PCOS and hyperinsulemia which makes loosing weight on regular dieting nearly impossible. Then they're like oh ok. Again, I'm very proud that I'm doing this and kinda wanna shout it from the rooftops! Lol. I think this is going to be about 100 times harder than just dieting and exercising so the people that wanna judge me for it can just kiss it. Lol!

I was initially going to keep my potential surgery a secret (Im still waiting for my first apt) but I feel so embarrassed at being so fat I felt like I had to tell people that I WAS doing something about it. I think its a bit like the fat girl making jokes about herself being so fat...kind of like I get in first before other people could get in first.

So, my good friend looks at me at work yesterday and states in front of EVERYONE: You are going to die in that surgery.

She is overweight herself and has a failed band....I think sometimes other overweight people are even more judgemental of surgery than those that just have no idea. Of all people I thought someone with weight problems would understand.

Rani

(first apt March 5 - can't get there fast enough)

I was initially going to keep my potential surgery a secret (Im still waiting for my first apt) but I feel so embarrassed at being so fat I felt like I had to tell people that I WAS doing something about it. I think its a bit like the fat girl making jokes about herself being so fat...kind of like I get in first before other people could get in first.

So' date=' my good friend looks at me at work yesterday and states in front of EVERYONE: You are going to die in that surgery.

She is overweight herself and has a failed band....I think sometimes other overweight people are even more judgemental of surgery than those that just have no idea. Of all people I thought someone with weight problems would understand.

Rani

(first apt March 5 - can't get there fast enough)[/quote']

Don't let it bother you!! You are doing what you want and don't let anyone tell you that it's wrong! My sister in law of all people who has known me for 17 years asked my husband why I can't just diet...I'm like are you freaking kidding me!? My husband defended me and said she HAS tried and her PCOS won't let her loose enough and it makes he gain it all back. Unless they've been in our shoes they don't know and shouldn't say things to make us feel even worse. That's why I like talking to people on here. It makes me feel like I'm accepted and not alone.