A thread for Single Bandsters

[NewBeginnings2018 81]

My 4 yr marriage ended just before I was about to have lapband surgery...turns out my X was calling me a 'big fat slob sitting on the couch eating chocolate' to his work mates and then 2 weeks after my youngest was born I found out he had another significant other, of 4 years as well... needles to say I dumped his A*s had lapband surgery and now I look better than ever he wants me back...No way I am going back there. If he cant accept me when I was fat why should i think he would accept me completely now...i am still the same person! Just a few kilo's lighter...I am hoping now to find someone that truly accepts me for me.

Good for you flabuless for not taking him back!! Anyone who is going to cheat on you like that does not deserve a second chance. And you are right that you deserve someone who truly accepts you as you are! You are FABULOUS and if this guy can't see it - good riddins! :clap2:

[NewBeginnings2018 81]

Pebbles I'm so glad you posted!! I think we can really learn a lot from each other, especially considering that we all understand what each other is going through.

In my opinion you should tell him about the band. I know for me it would be a bit embarassing to discuss, but if you don't tell him now I think it will only snowball. If he wonders why you didn't tell him right away, just explain that this is your first relationship after the band and since it's so new, you weren't quite sure on how to bring it up. You want to be completely honest with him, which is why you're telling him now. My guess is that he will be completely cool with it. Let us know how it goes!

[pebulz 135]

Thanks Chrispy I agree I know I need to tell him and I want to its just I am not sure how to say it LOL. I mean I have already told him about the tumor sx and about my weightloss he's seen a pic of me at my highest and a horrible pic at that LOL. He makes me feel so comf about my body that I don't think he'd care. Well I'll def let you guys know how it goes once I do get the courage up to tell him

[Nathalie 4]

Hi Ladies -

I'm also a single woman. Mother of a 17 month old boy. I've always been "thick" but after my son was born I got fat. I have gained 70 pounds since he was born, so I am being banded on 12/14.

I've never been married, but have never had a problem finding dates. I'm curvy and pretty with a sparkly personality; I've always kept a man. Athletic, educated men with ... well, you know. (laugh) Since becoming "Mom" I have moved to a new city, gotten a new job, and am a single mother - I have no energy or interest in finding a new man right now. I was th inking about joining Match Makers International, but don't feel ready for that at the size that I am. I am interested in talking with my ex (not my son's father, the bf before him), though. He has been in touch with me, and I can't stop wondering why he's emailing.

I just ordered that "Lost and Found Lovers" book. I plan to go to ATL to visit friends in the springtime and will see him then. It would be fabulous if I were smaller than the last time I saw him. I'll show up curvy and smelling good. How can he resist, especially if he is interested?

Anyhow, I read this thread, but haven't ever posted before. You girls rock. I love your dating stories and your heartfelt advice. I will, of course, keep you posted on the situation with the ex. The reason we didn't work out was "timing" more than anything else. I still adore him, and he always thought we were good together. As far as I'm concerned, it's only a matter of time.

Have a great day!

Nathalie

[NewBeginnings2018 81]

Hi Nathalie! I'm glad you posted! Definitely do keep us updated regarding your ex. You just never know how these things will work out!

[KristiB 1]

Okay. I get my first fill next tuesday. I am Skeered!! I don't want to get sick, but I can still eat too much, so I know I need it. Please someone tell me it will be okay?

Kristi

[pebulz 135]

Kristi its not bad at all.. I was so nervous for my first fill but it was a breeze absolutely no pain at all. The surface was sore alittle afterwards because i bruise so easily. I got my second fill yesterday and again no pain, I guess it all depends on how your dr does it. But I'm sure you'll be fine Good Luck

[NewBeginnings2018 81]

Kristi don't be nervous. It was a breeze really. Besides, I have lost 6 lbs since I got my fill last Wednesday. I love this fill!!!!

[JDru 0]

Kristi I had my first fill yesterday and it's been fine. I haven't had a feeling of getting stuck or a PB, just feel fuller for a longer period of time. You'll be just fine!

[lovatofish 0]

Hi, was wondering how often a person should get a fill. Had my surgery last Feb. I have only had 2 fills. One in March and one in September. Have only lost 40#. I am stuck now and have not lost anything for a month. So is this my indication for a fill??

[wootsie73 0]

Ok Everyone,

I went to Amarillo over this past weekend and saw my PCP while I was there. She really pissed me off! As you know, I'm not banded yet and I have done some pretty stupid things since I've been here with my daughter.

First, I started smoking again. I know that's stupid, but there is just a lot going on here that I thought I would be able to handle better than I have. So, I've also been eating a lot of things I shouldn't be eating. I had lost about 36 lbs shortly before I came here and was feeling pretty good and I've gained 10 lbs back. Anyway, she was sooooooooooooo rude to me I just wanted to hit her or something! I told her I had been eating mostly what I wanted because I knew I wouldn't be able to after the surgery. She told me that's why she hates all WLS and I had been doing good before and could do it on my own if I really wanted to yada-yada-yada. Of course she's a stick, literally, and she has never been 1 oz overweight in her entire life. She said I would be able to eat those things after the surgery and I would still gain weight with the band. Well, DUH! Like I don't already know that.

Then, she said I needed to see a psychiatrist and be in therapy, because I was destined to fail after being banded if I didn't. Can you guys believe that? I mean, I'm a nurse here and I know you can still eat things that are bad for you after you are banded, but that doesn't mean you will. I know what I should be eating and I know I want to have a few of the things I know are bad for me so I won't want them so bad after surgery.

Anyway, it just hurt my feelings and made me so mad I could just spit. I just had to vent to you guys, because I know some of you must have gone through this yourselves. Any advice? I just am so depressed and need some encouragement. Please help!

On a lighter note, I saw my friend I talk to all the time while I was there and we had a great time just talking and watching TV at his house. I'm not sure what I'm feeling here, but I think he's a lot of fun to hang out with.

[NewBeginnings2018 81]

Wootsie - I'm sorry to hear about the meeting with your PCP physician. I'm a bit confused though - is she your band surgeon as well? I just needed the referral from my PCP and then I dealt directly with my surgeon and his group.

The time leading up to the band is tough. You want to eat, eat, eat because you're afraid you'll never be able to eat again. Yet, at the same time you want to lose weight and know that you should be trying harder. Just do the best you can and realize that you are working on changing your eating habits and this will not happen overnight, nor will it happen without hitting bumps in the road - even after you're banded. What's most important is that you dust yourself off and keep plugging away at it.

What's most important to remember - is that you can do anything you put your mind to!! Everyone else can go shove it!

[wootsie73 0]

Thanks Crispy! No, she isn't my surgeon, just my regular PCP. She's in Amarillo and my surgeon is in Dallas. I think she totally misunderstood what I was trying to say, but she doesn't need to be rude! I know I have messed up big time. I have an appointment with my cardiologist next week and he is going to have a fit about my weight gain and my smoking. I'm just under a lot of extra pressure down here and I need to get back to Amarillo where I have a lot more support from my other family members. Not so much the WLS, but things in general. You are right though, everyone else can shove it. They don't live in my body or my mind.

[ser123 0]

This thread has been really good and here is my .02:

First, I loved the poster who blamed the scars on a knifing accident. And I loved the poster who blamed her PBing on her date's driving!!! Very funny you two...

As for telling a date about my band... I can say I probably won't say anything about my band until I get to know someone. That is just my personal preference for now. I had liposuction about 10 years ago and I don't remember the last boyfriend I told that.

As for physical attraction, my theory is that if someone asks me out then they must be attracted to me. Most guys aren't going to ask someone out if he thinks she is ugly. Add that to my observation that most guys are ready to have sex with you ASAP. So if a man asks me out then I am not worried about whether or not he thinks I am attractive (after all, I am not a rich heiress that he would date to gain access to my millions).

In terms of online dating, be it Match.com or Eharmony... I usually meet someone for the first time for coffee. If it lasts less than 30 minutes it is usually because either I, or he, is not interested. If it is going great then it can last a long time and I assume the guy is going to be calling me again soon. coffee isn't that big of a commitment... so if I don't like him I don't feel bad for him spending $5 to meet me, and if he doesn't like me then it wasn't like I spent a whole dinner getting all emotionally invested in him.

To me, dating is a numbers game. I will meet almost anyone I think I may possibly have a mutual interest in for coffee.

And for those dry spells or when all I have been doing is drinking a lot of coffee, I always make sure I have batteries....

[Terrilen 0]

I think this is actualy funny! I got dumped by someone who never even met me!!!!! What the___? I posted on here awhile ago that I had been talking for almost a month with a nice guy from EHarmony. Nice guy.. I just was not crazy about his voice and for some reason I had very little desire to meet him even though he was soooooo nice! Well the universe has a way of putting things in line! I finaly decide I want to meet him, am actualy looking forward to it! And he falls off the face of the earth! I have not heard from him since the week after Thanksgiving! So go figure? I hate this crap it is just too much work! I have decided that if I am supposed to meet someone God will put him in my path! The holidays kill me, I start missing my ex lover of 8 years and get afraid that I will break down and call him....which would be the worst thing I could ever do!!! Those of you who have someone to love count your lucky stars and do not take them for granted. I would rather be alone than be with someone and be unhappy but being alone during the holidays BITES!:cry