male only Ok, might have to turn in my man card for asking this....

[mrchris 98]

So let me set the stage before asking the question.

I've never been a mouthy, cocky, arrogant person. But I've never been afraid to speak my mind and I've got a bad habit of jumping into the fray if I feel a need to. For example if I see someone shoplifting at the store I'll grab them by the ear and drag them to a manager or security. If I'm at a bar or restaurant and someone smacks their wife/gf I'm more than happy to knock them on their ass.

At 6'1" 350ish this wasn't a big challenge and although I've never looked "intimidating" I've rarely been challenged simply because of size. I've never been one to pick a fight but I've always been one to stand my ground. Walking through bad parts of town or even downtown late at night has never concerned me and my wife and many friends always want me to accompany them in those situations for that very reason.

So now the question, having the surgery and losing the weight do you ever feel more vulnerable? Like physically vulnerable? I'm not like scared out of my mind over this but you lose a certain edge giving up the size.

For myself I've decided to enroll in Krav Maga lessons, I figure along it's good exercise (along with the gym) but also very practical and might alleviate those concerns. And I'd rather have the ability to defend myself and never need it rather than risk a confrontation going wrong.

Am I the only one who has thought this?

[CowgirlJane 14,261]

Interesting. As a woman who has lost basically the weight of a whole woman.. I feel stronger now. I can run, I can move, I am in shape - I am woman, hear me roar....lol

when I was heavy I felt vulnerable because I just didn't have enough fitness to feel self confident about anything physical. A fall meant going SPLAT etc.

Even so, I can understand what you are saying, I have just experienced it almost opposite.

[Squisha 99]

Ok, so I don't know about from a man's perspective but I feel LESS vulnerable since losing so much weight. I feel stronger now than i did 100+ pounds ago.

[mrchris 98]

I can appreciate that and I guess if I was in that situation I might feel the same way. I spent 20 years as a grocery store meat manager which entailed throwing around 200lb boxes of meat all day long and was strong as a horse. Then changed careers and got a desk job in IT. It didn't help my waistline any but I could still throw a refrigerator for distance and I could walk miles of flat ground (stairs got to me though after 4 or 5 flights) so I never felt weak or incapable I just didn't have the endurance I had before, I just knew that I needed to lose it before I got older and I knew I wanted to be closer to where I was weight wise in my early 20's.

[Zazous 14]

You are NOT alone in this!!!!

I started at 353 and 6 ft. I did look intimidating (as some people told me) because of my size and the fact that I am quiet but, like you, not afraid to speak my mind.

Anyway, I have thought about this. 70 lbs lighter I do feel more vulnerable, but couldn't tell you if it's because I weigh less or because I have worried about this... Krav Maga, huh? Interesting...

[kitkat 76]

I understand completely! I am a woman but since I have just started my journey all I can contribute is that, because of the reasons you have stated I have never liked or wanted to date a skinny man. Thin and fit yes but not skinny. I felt like they would not be able to defend me or themself.

Weird? Maybe but true.

[kyllfalcon 768]

Definitely seeing a gender trend here...

I, like the other female posters, feel much less vulnerable. Heavy, I moved slowly and was oftern breathless. I appeared much older and somewhat infirm. Lighter, I move swiftly and surely, am never out of breath and appear healthy and capable. I feel much less likely to be targeted or victimized.

[O.T.R. sleever 3,386]

Well, I can say that losing does not make me feel less masculine. Of course there are some differences here. I am considerably shorter (5'6") at my healthiest I was 155lbs walking weight & 145 fighting weight (I was a wrestler). I've also had a few years of a few different martial arts. I am by no means proficient at any of them.

I have so far lost 100lbs, I feel faster again. I may not have the one swing knock out punch I did at almost 300lbs, but I can move. I can connect multiple times in the time it took me before to throw the one death punch.

If you've always been the "Big Guy" I can see where these advantages might not be apparent. But believe me, learn to use your new found append & agility. It more thathan makes up for a few lbs lost. Also another advantage. Being smaller, youy opponent tends to underestimate your ability most of the time.

[chitowngirl 886]

I can totally understand your concern. The last thing you want to be is tall and lanky. I think the martial arts in combination with some weight lifting will give you the bad @ss dude look you once had. Good luck.

[BKMama 179]

My hubby is losing weight with me and he has expressed this concern. He's not tall, but he's built like a linebacker and fast. Anyway, he is focusing on building muscle while keeping his speed because that makes him feel a lot less weak. He liked being intimidating to our teenage daughter's suitors. LOL I think the martial arts classes will be great for you.

[dust 54]

there are plenty of tough looking 6'1" guys walking around at 190-200lb. don't sweat it. who cares what you look like as long as you can back it up.

krav is good, but it's very hard to find a good, high level instructor who really knows what they are talking about. as you can see from my avatar i train in brazilian jiu jitsu, and i happen to train with some of the baddest dudes on the planet. literally - i train with multiple guys who hold world championship titles, and the alliance team has won the team worlds 7x. so while i'm a bit biased, i think BJJ is the superior martial art. 4mo of basic BJJ training and you could win most every bar fight you could find yourself in. add a little striking to the mix and you're way ahead of the game. use your brain and don't get into fights unless it's absolutely necessary and you're unstoppable. some of my training partners don't look like anything special but would completely, utterly destroy anyone who made the unwise decision to start something.

that said, go check out a krav class. i think you might be a little disappointed in the actual "workout" aspect of the classes as the ones i have tried have never been very cardio or strength intensive like BJJ is. judo workouts are intese as well. neither one is as hard core as your typical wrestling conditioning workouts, but they are still great. if you decide to get into BJJ then there are tons of opportunities to compete, which is addictive and provides a huge motivation benefit.

[lessofmeismore 1,405]

Watch this video...size doesn't matter in a fight lol

If link doesn't work, look up on YouTube ... Repo guy gets butt kicked karayzee

It's hilarious lol

[ArcusX 216]

Never seen Krav Maga before. If you like a "street style," Kung Fu San Soo might be an option to look into as well. Here's a link... I trained with this guy like 20 years ago, and I want to go back one of these days:

<iframe width="420" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/Yyu5m2sz0B4" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

[dust 54]

search youtube for "Gracie Challenge" and watch Gracie BJJ players own guys that try all that fancy kung fu stuff if someone is close enough to punch you then they are close enough for you to get then on the ground and end things.

Rickson Gracie, one of the best BJJ players ever, was quoted as saying "The ground is my ocean. I'm a shark and nobody else even knows how to swim."

not that i'm some serious BA who can win any fight...

sorry, not trying to be contentious.. i just believe in BJJ and have a distaste for traditional martial arts.

[Butterthebean 8,146]

there are plenty of tough looking 6'1" guys walking around at 190-200lb. don't sweat it. who cares what you look like as long as you can back it up.

krav is good' date=' but it's very hard to find a good, high level instructor who really knows what they are talking about. as you can see from my avatar i train in brazilian jiu jitsu, and i happen to train with some of the baddest dudes on the planet. literally - i train with multiple guys who hold world championship titles, and the alliance team has won the team worlds 7x. so while i'm a bit biased, i think BJJ is the superior martial art. 4mo of basic BJJ training and you could win most every bar fight you could find yourself in. add a little striking to the mix and you're way ahead of the game. use your brain and don't get into fights unless it's absolutely necessary and you're unstoppable. some of my training partners don't look like anything special but would completely, utterly destroy anyone who made the unwise decision to start something.

that said, go check out a krav class. i think you might be a little disappointed in the actual "workout" aspect of the classes as the ones i have tried have never been very cardio or strength intensive like BJJ is. judo workouts are intese as well. neither one is as hard core as your typical wrestling conditioning workouts, but they are still great. if you decide to get into BJJ then there are tons of opportunities to compete, which is addictive and provides a huge motivation benefit.[/quote']

I love watching BJJ and I'm a big, long time fan of Rickson Gracie. I'd love to be able to do BJJ but at 43 years old I don't think my ego could handle all the ass kickings those young 20-somethings would be giving me in class. What I wouldn't give for a 40 and over class. LOL