I'm in need of a reply when a friend says to me: "It wasn't God's intention for us to remove 80% of our stomachs. It's too drastic. It's not natural. Diet & exercise - AND STICKING WITH IT - are what you need to do. I've always said that."

My reply was: "Breast implants weren't God's intent, but you got those."

Her reply: "But they can be removed. You're taking out 80% of your stomach & you can't put it back."

Any KINDLY WORDED suggestions will be greatly appreciated, as she is, after all, my BFF, so I am not looking to disregard her feelings.

** NOTE: After several responses, I have edited this post to also say: Everyone's opinion is valid; however, I personally believe in God & pray continually that I am making the right decision & that he is walking beside me, or carrying me, through this. I am requesting KINDLY WORDED responses. If you do not believe in God or that this is not a God issue, then I kindly request that you not reply to this post. Thank you.

And the stomach can restretch and be "undone" as a result.. And other than that? If she cannot be more supportive than that, then that probably isn't a subject y'all need to be talking about...?

...If she cannot be more supportive than that' date=' then that probably isn't a subject y'all need to be talking about...?[/quote']

Thank you for your reply. I get your point, and she doesn't really want to talk about it, but I would like to have something thought-provoking to say to her when we DO talk about it, so that she doesn't continue to dwell on the thought that I'm doing something to my body that can't be undone.

i'm not putting this forth as a quote but I am just astonished that your friend said this. You are not doing this for purely asthetic purposes which, last time I checked, are the main purpose of FAKE boobs! (not hating on breast implants at all) It's not like you are getting a fake stomach...you are trying to get healthy! Who give a rats rear if you can take breast implants out! it's still changing what God gave you...that's why it's called a breast "augementation"...I'm hoping that this friend of yours is just concerned for you and looking out for you even if she isn't doing it in a way that you like. I have told most of my friends, co-workers, and family that I will be having the surgery and most have been supportive. As far as the ones that are vocal about not approving, I've already told them that I appreciate their concern and opinions but if they are not going to be supportive about this choice, then the topic is off the table for discussion. gah...sorry I got so long winded. This whole subject just kinda grinds my gears! lol. Best of luck to you! Don't worry so much about what other people are saying!

Has she ever struggled with her weight? I have told most of my friends and co workers and I explained to them that I have stuggled with this my entire life, I am 41, the weight is no longer a cosmetic issue like it was in my 20's just when I couldn't get a date, now the weight is effecting my health. I have to do something, I wish I didn't have to do this. The video of the sleeve procedure is sad, it is a beatiful stomach all smooth and soft and then after is the harsh, ugly row of staples. It is not what god intented, but ya know what? I am at a drastic point! I don't think god imagined a fast food joint on every corner or us working 50 hours a week and raising families. I am not making excusing for why I got fat but I have tried really hard to loose this weight and no one on this earth wants me to thin more than me.

If your friend can't understand this or support you, and she has breast impants then she understands wanting to look better. I would question your friendship with her. Maybe she is jelouse that you will look better than her? Maybe she likes being the better looking one and likes you how you look now?

I am glad I got the sleeve, and you should be too. I am sorry you are not getting support from your closest female friend, you needed her support and trusted her with what you are doing and she is being rude. I am sorry! I support you.

Let's see in "GOD'S TIME" we also were not:

healing supposedly incurable diseases

Removing limbs for various reason

transplanting body parts

Oh my God is she serious? I think you need to tell her to get a grip and live in this century. This is not a God issue. Leave God out of it.

...I'm hoping that this friend of yours is just concerned for you and looking out for you even if she isn't doing it in a way that you like...

Has she ever struggled with her weight?.... If your friend can't understand this or support you' date=' and she has breast impants then she understands wanting to look better. I would question your friendship with her. Maybe she is jelouse that you will look better than her? Maybe she likes being the better looking one and likes you how you look now?... I am glad I got the sleeve, and you should be too. I am sorry you are not getting support from your closest female friend, you needed her support and trusted her with what you are doing and she is being rude. I am sorry! I support you.[/quote']

In my heart I know that most likely it is concern for me. She's not so shallow that she likes looking better than me. She's very much her own person & doesn't validate herself by putting others down.

Yes, she struggled with her weight a bit, but she lost it & controls it with diet & exercise. Her sister is morbidly obese so I am hoping that I will eventually be an example to my friend so she can then convince her sister that she should do this for her own health.

The point of my original post was that she's someone I care for & I would like for her to see it from my point of view. I agree that maybe it's best if we don't talk about the surgery, but the reality is that it's inevitable that we will, and I'd like to have something thought-provoking to say - but I'm at a loss for words & just asking for some help.

Let's see in "GOD'S TIME" we also were not:

healing supposedly incurable diseases

Removing limbs for various reason

transplanting body parts

Oh my God is she serious? I think you need to tell her to get a grip and live in this century. This is not a God issue. Leave God out of it.

No disrespect to you intended at all, but I don't quite agree that this isn't a God issue. However, I suppose that opinion varies on an individual basis. I know that personally i have prayed about this issue because to me it is a drastic measure, but one that I feel at this point might be necessary. If I repeatedly fail to get approved by my insurance, then i am going to take that as a sign not to go ahead with the surgery. But then again, that's just me! As I said this kind of opinion is all on an individual basis but it is also unfair to make a blanket statment like that. Please understand, i am not offended by what you said or spoiling for a debate. I'm just putting what I believe out there just as you have.

Ovaries, Uteris, gall bladder and apendix God gave as well and sometimes they make us sick and have to come out. By the way the breast sometimes have to be taken too. What God did not entend is for us to be sick.

I would tell her:

I THANK GOD everyday that I live in a world where I can have lasix surgery to improve my eyesight. (Permanent re-formation of cornea, can't be reversed)

I have had a few teeth removed, several moles and a growth removed from my nether regions which was causing me issues. Don't want anything back.

I have had friends have their tonsils, appendix, spleens, ovaries (and associated parts) removed when they aren't working for them anymore, and they are better for it. (Permanent removal of organs, don't want them back)

I have also had 85% of my stomach removed so I can have a tool to restrict my intake and help me lead a healthier life and be there for my family and friends.

I know God intended babies to come out the way they went in, but it is good to know these smart men and women are there to help with surgeries.

I also know these same smart men and women do surgeries for vanity purposes, and I am glad God put them here to help those who feel they need it.

What class of people do you think God would look down on more, those getting surgeries for vanity or those trying to improve the quality of their lives?

My 2 cents

No disrespect to you intended at all, but I don't quite agree that this isn't a God issue. However, I suppose that opinion varies on an individual basis. I know that personally i have prayed about this issue because to me it is a drastic measure, but one that I feel at this point might be necessary. If I repeatedly fail to get approved by my insurance, then i am going to take that as a sign not to go ahead with the surgery. But then again, that's just me! As I said this kind of opinion is all on an individual basis but it is also unfair to make a blanket statment like that. Please understand, i am not offended by what you said or spoiling for a debate. I'm just putting what I believe out there just as you have.

Liz I did not DOG your quotes so please do not be disrespectful to me. God did not create this surgery but the people who did. As you say we are all entitled to an opinion so why do you say that I shouldn't have mine. A sign is one thing but saying that this is not what GOD intended is what I believe is not correct. God gave us all life so that we may live it in our own way. Getting surgery is the WAY for us.

_{Susan 2.0,}

_{The best and most thought-provoking thing will be for her to hang in there and make the journey with you as a supportive friend. Seeing as she is your BFF, I can't imagine that she wouldn't come through when you needed her most. People often have a lot pf pre-concieved notions about things they have no personal experience with and form opinions based off of that. As she goes through this journey with you, maybe she will become a little better informed and her thoughts and opinions on the subject will change! You just never know! The important thing is that you have a good support system, and if you need the BFF to be a part of it then you will just have to come to an understanding on the subject.}

Oh my God is she serious? I think you need to tell her to get a grip and live in this century. This is not a God issue. Leave God out of it.

Everyone's opinion is valid; however, I personally believe in God & pray continually that I am making the right decision & that he is walking beside me, or carrying me, through this. I requested KINDLY WORDED responses. If you do not believe in God or that this is not a God issue, then I kindly request that you not reply to this post. Thank you.

Ovaries' date=' Uteris, gall bladder and apendix God gave as well and sometimes they make us sick and have to come out. By the way the breast sometimes have to be taken too. What God did not entend is for us to be sick.[/quote']

Thank you, Bmarion662. Thank you.

Liz I did not DOG your quotes so please do not be disrespectful to me. God did not create this surgery but the people who did. As you say we are all entitled to an opinion so why do you say that I shouldn't have mine. A sign is one thing but saying that this is not what GOD intended is what I believe is not correct. God gave us all life so that we may live it in our own way. Getting surgery is the WAY for us.

I'm sorry you mistook me as dogging on what you have to say. I in no way meant to imply that you are not entitled to your own opinion! Maybe I should have made that a little clearer. I was just offering the other side to the coin. I meant absolutely zero disrespect (which I believe I prefaced my comment with). I apologize if you took it that way.I suppose we will have to agree to disagree.

I would tell her:

I THANK GOD everyday that I live in a world where I can have lasix surgery to improve my eyesight. (Permanent re-formation of cornea' date=' can't be reversed)

I have had a few teeth removed, several moles and a growth removed from my nether regions which was causing me issues. Don't want anything back.

I have had friends have their tonsils, appendix, spleens, ovaries (and associated parts) removed when they aren't working for them anymore, and they are better for it. (Permanent removal of organs, don't want them back)

I have also had 85% of my stomach removed so I can have a tool to restrict my intake and help me lead a healthier life and be there for my family and friends.

I know God intended babies to come out the way they went in, but it is good to know these smart men and women are there to help with surgeries.

I also know these same smart men and women do surgeries for vanity purposes, and I am glad God put them here to help those who feel they need it.

What class of people do you think God would look down on more, those getting surgeries for vanity or those trying to improve the quality of their lives?

My 2 cents[/quote']

Beautifully said. It brought tears to my eyes. I thank you, PDXMan, for taking the time to write this in support of someone you don't personally know. And a very good point is the LASIK surgery, because she had that one several years ago!