Good News & Bad News-NOT

BJean · October 2, 2006

My husband suffers from the same "abuse"! One day his poor ears may fall off.

I try really hard not to be misunderstood. That's one reason I use so many words. Another is that when someone relates a personal story, I want them to know that I understand what they've said, and so that they believe me, I tell them of a similar experience that I've had. I think it is probably very off-putting for some people because they think I'm trying to turn their story into something that is about ME. But I don't know how to participate in a two-way discussion any other way.

And I haven't been able to overcome my years of working for attorneys, who as we all know, use 30 words when 2 will do.

Tired_Old_Man · October 2, 2006

My husband suffers from the same "abuse"! One day his poor ears may fall off.
I try really hard not to be misunderstood. That's one reason I use so many words. Another is that when someone relates a personal story, I want them to know that I understand what they've said, and so that they believe me, I tell them of a similar experience that I've had. I think it is probably very off-putting for some people because they think I'm trying to turn their story into something that is about ME. But I don't know how to participate in a two-way discussion any other way.

And I haven't been able to overcome my years of working for attorneys, who as we all know, use 30 words when 2 will do.

In my case, it was not attorneys, but working in the aviation industry which helped to shape my Quest for verbal perfection. It was definitely a family trait, perfectionism as much as talking, but being afraid to bring down a plane full of people was a contributing factor.

I became extremely good at my job and other mechanics would compete against me, in a situation similar to the old West's top gunslinger syndrome. If any mechanic could show me up, he would become "Top-Gun" because, most people knew that TOM was “Top-Gun” at fixing planes.

For about 5 years, I did not work on planes, but instead worked on the simulators that the pilots practiced on. One day, as my fellow technician Keith was leaving for the day as his shift was ending and mine beginning, we exchanged information on two problems. I knew how to fix what had been troubling him and he knew the procedure for something that had confounded me.

The next day, we crossed paths again and both of us said that we were unable to solve our problems by applying each other's advice. We then each demonstrated on the the simulators in question what we had explained the previous day.

Keith blamed me for not explaining properly the instructions I gave him which stopped him from being able to fix his problem.

Then, Keith blamed me for not understanding properly the instructions he gave to me which stopped me from being able to fix my problem.

So I asked, “if we were playing 'catch' and I threw you the ball and you didn't catch it, is my fault for throwing the ball wrong?”

“Correct.”

“And if you threw you the ball back to me and I didn't catch it, is my fault for trying to catch the ball wrong?”

“Right.”

“Why is it always my fault?”

“Because you are smarter than me.”

Being good is a heavy burden, but once you lift it, you can never put it down and in fact it will just get heavier and heavier, unless you want to just throw it all away.

BJean · October 2, 2006

TOM: That was great!! I hope you won't mind me sharing it with my DH because he will appreciate it totally.

For some reason I am finding myself wishing I knew you were at American Airlines taking care of the planes I fly on!

We've discussed many times that we fear that the up and coming work force just doesn't have the commitment or training or even smarts that our generation did. Who knows, maybe our parents thought the same thing about us. But I honestly don't think that was the case. My Dad preached loyalty to your employer ad naseum. I still feel that if you work for someone, you give them everything you've got and are loyal in every situation. The times that I've voiced that to some of the younger generation however, they all ask why they should be loyal to a corporation that isn't loyal to its' workers. Hmmm. They do make a point.