Work has been so stressful lately and home life isnt much better. Came home to husband wanting to go uptown then out to eat. I took him up on it because Im too exhausted to cook. We went to a buffet thinking they would have veggies U can eat- they didn't snd the buffet was 10.97 each and would give a discount even when I showed the gastric card from my dr. I know - go somewhere you can order off menu. I tried to eat to keep from crying over my job- after about 3 bites I was so full I was nauseous. I get so sick of not being able to enjoy the only thing in this world that comforts me right now. I feel I made a mistake having the surgery znd there is no reversal. I am losing weight and grateful for it but at what price? Losing my only comfort? I am falling so far into depression. I was on antidepressants before surgery and dont want to go back on them. But I dont want to keep being embarrased over and over by ordering and not being able to do much more than lick the spoon before Im full.

What can I do to help me through this. I dont have a support group at home and I dont trust coworkers. Yes I have trust issues too. Please give me something to hang on to so to get through this. Will ut ever get better or is this my hell on earth forever?

I did call my dr today and can't get in to see him for over 3 weeks. They did call in more of my RX. I'll pick them up tonight. I felt like I could scream all day at work and finally broke down and called. Thanks everyone.

I will say that I'm not that much farther along than you are - I'm at 11 weeks. But at 5-6 weeks I struggled. I missed comfort food! And it was hard to see other people eating.

I'm still eating about the same amount, but have had time to adjust. It seems a bit more natural to see that bit of food and know that is all that will fit. And it's also easier to be around others who are eating - although every once in a while I still excuse myself to avoid being around a trigger food.

What I am trying to say... Is that it gets easier with time! We have made an irreversible decision and with that knowledge adjustment may happen more quickly than you think!

As for the depression, if medication helped in the past that is a good indicator that it may once again give you some relief.

Good luck!

I did call my dr today and can't get in to see him for over 3 weeks. They did call in more of my RX. I'll pick them up tonight. I felt like I could scream all day at work and finally broke down and called. Thanks everyone.

Hooray!!! I'm so happy for you. Good that you could get the RX and you'll see the doc in 3 weeks!

I can completely understand. I eat for comfort as well and I am 5 days post op.

We HAVE TO break the cycle and find our comfort elsewhere or we will not be successful. I worry about this myself. It is something I was born and bred to do EAT! I finally figured out the extent to which I use food and it's scary. I WILL do whatever it takes though. I take antidepressants too, and like they all said u can't stop abruptly, this could be contributing to your anxiety.

Take a deep breath, suck on a worther's (lol they taste good, I miss that too) and know that u are worth all the effort and sacrifice.

Much love, Suzie

Oh and one more thing...don't let anyone's opinion of what u eat be a source of embarrassment. (insert 4 letter word)...them, this is your life!

I've been taking them for years, and some days honestly I'm not sure I could get out of bed in the winter without them. II know I'm pre-op but it seems like now might not be the time to quit them. Your body is at an all-time low right now as it recovers from the shock of surgery. I'm glad you're going to keep taking them for a while while your body and mind heal. I never thought much of counselors either, felt like I wasted way too much time and $. However I did find a great therapist in the counseling program at the local college. She was a student doing her clinical hours, and was supervised. She was fantastic and I can guarantee I will go back to the program if I think I need it again. The price was cheap ($25 and hour) and she was still fresh, not jaded, and it really made a difference.

Oh and one more thing...don't let anyone's opinion of what u eat be a source of embarrassment. (insert 4 letter word)...them, this is your life!

I like this! I'm a pretty G-rated person, but sometimes when I'm questioning my decision to do this, I tell myself "It's F'ing food!" Somehow that puts it back in perspective.

Ok,I cant comment about the meds but I can tell you this.

The surgery is done.No turning back.At 2 months to 3 months I mourned the loss of eating.Then I decided to start enjoying it again.If I can only lick that fork,well it is the tastiest lick I will ever have.If it is 3 bites,which often happens when I eat out,it is the greatest 3 bites I have ever had.(ok,still need to learn to take smaller bites...lol)

In the beginning I would constantly feel that by the time others are just warmed up to eat,I was finished.Then I decided to argue this out with myself and to WIN.

Rule one is to be mindful when I eat those 4 bites.Slowly and deliberately.Look at it,beautiful,smell it..mmmm...taste it,delicious.

Now,when my 3 or 4 bites are finished,I have to tell myself the following:wasnt that just great?Isnt it just awesome that I am actually full without being the one to scoff down mine plus my kid's food?why do I believe I cannot be satisfied with what I have eaten?

And then I choose to let the plate go.No take away bag,nothing.Just tell them to take it.And I am so happy that I chose that.I won!

I keep telling people struggling with this issue.Now is the time to figure out how to be happy with the fact that you can only eat a little.And you can mourn the loss of a lot of food and you need to have a great talk with yourself and you need to congratulate yourself when you manage to feel you've won!

I suppose this is advice not support but if a friend of mine didnt have a very frank discussion with me about the fact that I just seemed so sad and depressed after my surgery and that I should let go of eating a lot without letting go of enjoying food,I would still be sitting in front of my plate of food,crying.

It just made me think how in control I can be if I am just prepared to be in control.That I decide,that I can turn this into a win win situation for me all the way.

Now,I dont diet,low carb,low fat,deprive myself of anything.

Baby portions of the best qualitly food I can possibly eat.I dont like something,I just wont touch it.Tasty food,well presented food,healthy food.

Good luck with your journey and I hope you can find this great balance and start really enjoying your food again.

At 4 months out you will really be able to eat a little more than you can now.You will learn to say as I do....it is awesome that I cannot eat that huge plate of food anymore.

xxo

I promise it gets better. Just hang on in there. Do you have a local support group that meets in person?

I did call my dr today and can't get in to see him for over 3 weeks. They did call in more of my RX. I'll pick them up to***ht. I felt like I could scream all day at work and finally broke down and called. Thanks everyone.

It is amazing how hard it is to get in to see a psychologist/psychiatrist isn't it? =p I always encounter the same thing when I try and make an appointment. If you have trouble taking the pills (my tablets tasted AWFUL crushed) you could see if the pharmacy can get it in liquid form. Most meds are available in liquid, you just have to ask.

I'm sorry that yesterday was so awful at work. If you need just a venting, sounding board to yell at, complain, get it all out there, you are welcome to send me a message. I know sometimes I just feel like screaming and if I get it out to a friend then at least I have a little bit of that weight off my chest. I know that I'm probably not as good as your therapist, but I would be happy to try to help in any way I can =)

I hope today is better!

I'm so sorry you seem to be struggling here. I would suggest you seeing another therapist and getting back on the anti-depressants. Especially since we can no longer use food to give us that temporary lift.

I am exactly two months out and just got back from my first vacation post-op. It was so tough because I realized just how much good food was part of my enjoyment on vacations. Part of the excitement is trying new cuisines and overindulging a bit. I found myself feeling very regretful, but only briefly. I realized that I had been walking so much and had clocked about 10k steps in just half a day! And I never even had to sit down or stop to catch my breath or pretend I was interested in going into a store just so I could take a break from walking. So it's a trade off and I will take being able to enjoy activities all day over enjoying a calorie-rich meal anytime!

Ok' date='I cant comment about the meds but I can tell you this.

The surgery is done.No turning back.At 2 months to 3 months I mourned the loss of eating.Then I decided to start enjoying it again.If I can only lick that fork,well it is the tastiest lick I will ever have.If it is 3 bites,which often happens when I eat out,it is the greatest 3 bites I have ever had.(ok,still need to learn to take smaller bites...lol)

In the beginning I would constantly feel that by the time others are just warmed up to eat,I was finished.Then I decided to argue this out with myself and to WIN.

Rule one is to be mindful when I eat those 4 bites.Slowly and deliberately.Look at it,beautiful,smell it..mmmm...taste it,delicious.

Now,when my 3 or 4 bites are finished,I have to tell myself the following:wasnt that just great?Isnt it just awesome that I am actually full without being the one to scoff down mine plus my kid's food?why do I believe I cannot be satisfied with what I have eaten?

And then I choose to let the plate go.No take away bag,nothing.Just tell them to take it.And I am so happy that I chose that.I won!

I keep telling people struggling with this issue.Now is the time to figure out how to be happy with the fact that you can only eat a little.And you can mourn the loss of a lot of food and you need to have a great talk with yourself and you need to congratulate yourself when you manage to feel you've won!

I suppose this is advice not support but if a friend of mine didnt have a very frank discussion with me about the fact that I just seemed so sad and depressed after my surgery and that I should let go of eating a lot without letting go of enjoying food,I would still be sitting in front of my plate of food,crying.

It just made me think how in control I can be if I am just prepared to be in control.That I decide,that I can turn this into a win win situation for me all the way.

Now,I dont diet,low carb,low fat,deprive myself of anything.

Baby portions of the best qualitly food I can possibly eat.I dont like something,I just wont touch it.Tasty food,well presented food,healthy food.

Good luck with your journey and I hope you can find this great balance and start really enjoying your food again.

At 4 months out you will really be able to eat a little more than you can now.You will learn to say as I do....it is awesome that I cannot eat that huge plate of food anymore.

xxo[/quote']

Great great great advise. I knew early on that if I was gonna be limited in size it would be the BEST in quality. And haven't we all tried to stop and enjoy our food more? I saw a commercial last ***ht on tv and it was for Corral Wagon restaurant and their selling pitch was they have a chocolate fountain and endless cotton candy :0. Really? Is it any wonder this country is so OBESE.?

I have been on depression meds since 1984. It has been so long now, that I just consider them additional Vitamins. I have had to change types over the years, and in fact blame a bit of my weight gain on the depression puills. Anyway, my advice would be to keep the two issues as separate as you can. Treat your depression as it is needed. Treat your VSG sysmptoms as well. But try not to combine them.

Not being able to eat is depressing. No doubt about it. i am going through a real tough time right now with solid foods (7 weeks post-op). We still go out to eat. Here is why. Before I would have spent 10-15 bucks on dinner and 10+ more on beer. And that was to eat unhealthy and drink beer. Now we go out and I spend 10-15 on dinner (and 4 bucks on ice tea - they should be arrested for a felony.... sorry got off on my soap box there.). So before I spent 10-15 and now I spend 10-15. The difference is that I eat 1/10 of it. It bothered me at first. then you know what. I said poo on it. i am going to order what I want and eat what I can. I bought it, it is mine, if I want to sticvk it in my ear I can. So if I do not eat all of it - so what. A watse? sure. If I can not take it home it is a waste. But you know what? It is your business. eat what you can.

I have also come to the realization that I am eating so little, that I can be a bit more adventurous with my foods. 10,000,000 million calories a serving? Not for 3 teaspoons it is not!!!

I am finding that in my period of really struggling (I took Monday off because I felt so bad and down and was not eating enough), that a treat is in order. I had some baby back ribs last ***ht. Took me 30 minutes to eat a few of them.... but so what. I think everyone in the resturant could hear me lick my fingers.... ha ha ha I am enjoying these... I would take 2 bites or so and then simply wait 5 minutes before eating any more. It worked okay for me. If I eat too fast bad things hapen, so go slow and enjoy whatever amount you can. Do not let the reduced portion size make you crazy, allow the yummy-ness of the food to speak for it self.

And finally, some part of your depression has to be related to your weight and that has to be getting better. So, with all the struggles, there has to be some good feelings about the weight loss and the improved appearance. And that has to help with the depression.

I can fully understand your position, (I am in it right there with ya), it will get better. And you will look and feel better. Right now just figure out the best way to enjoy what you can during this short period of adjustment. I wish you the very best of luck, and you have friends here - all understanding of your situation, keep us informed and reach out when you get down.

Well, I'm only 9 days post-op but my hubby had RNY almost two years ago and he went through something similar. He calls it a "food divorce." He had his surgery three weeks before Christmas and when we went to the family dinner, he was miserable and withdrawn because all he could have was two bites of a plain baked potato.

It does, however, get better. Now he eats whatever he wants and just stays conscious of his portions throughout the day. He actually enjoys and savors food instead of just scarfing it down.

Hang in there!

Daniel - I do undrstand

Melissa - they had me go off it the day of surgery and didnt give it to me in the hospital so when I got home I tried crushing it which I just could not swallow the taste was so bitter. After a week I fflt better. I do really well until I get stressed. I have seen a therapist before and feel they are robots with the same questions , no answers and "pay at the door" attitude. I felt like a slave to the pills.

If you were on an ssri it is really not good to stop them cold turkey permanently. I understand feeling like a slave to pills, I have RA and am on over a dozen rxs with two of them being injectable. My surgeon told me small pills are fine to take whole and the larger ones can be broken in half if crushing them is too much of a hassle or tastes too bad. I'm on zoloft and I stopped it only the day of surgery- I had no problems taking them the next day along with a statin and a beta blocker.

It kind of sounds like staying off your meds might be pushing you into depression? Hope you feel better soon.