I think I have you beat:

1. Rubber bands last longer when refrigerated.

2. Peanuts are one of the ingredients of dynamite.

3. There are 293 ways to make change for a dollar.

4. The average person's left hand does 56% of the typing.

5. A shark is the only fish that can blink with both eyes.

6. There are more chickens than people in the world.

7. Two-thirds of the world's eggplant is grown in New Jersey.

8. The longest one-syllable word in the English language is "screeched."

9. On a Canadian two dollar bill, the flag flying over the Parliament building is an American flag.

10. All of the clocks in the movie "Pulp Fiction" are stuck on 4:20.

11. No word in the English language rhymes with month, orange,

silver,or purple.

12. "Dreamt" is the only English word that ends in the letters "mt".

13. All 50 states are listed across the top of the Lincoln Memorial on the back on the $5 bill.

14. Almonds are a member of the peach family.

15. Winston Churchill was born in a ladies' room during a dance.

16. Maine is the only state whose name is just one syllable.

17. There are only four words in the English language which end in "dous":tremendous, horrendous, stupendous, and hazardous.

18. Los Angeles' full name is "El Pueblo de Nuestra Senora Reina de los Angeles de Porciuncula"

19. A cat has 32 muscles in each ear.

20. An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.

21. Tigers have striped skin, not just striped fur.

22. In most advertisements, the time displayed on a watch is 10:10..

23. Al Capone's business card said he was a used furniture dealer.

24. The characters Bert and Ernie on Sesame Street were named after Bert the cop and Ernie the taxi driver in Frank Capra's "It's a Wonderful Life."

25. A dragonfly has a life span of 24 hours.

26. A goldfish has a memory span of three seconds.

27. A dime has 118 ridges around the edge.

28. It's impossible to sneeze with your eyes open.

29. The giant squid has the largest eyes in the world.

30. In England, the Speaker of the House is not allowed to speak.

31. The microwave was invented after a researcher walked by a radar tube and a chocolate bar melted in his pocket.

32. Mr. Rogers is an ordained minister.

33. The average person falls asleep in seven minutes.

34. There are 336 dimples on a regulation golf ball.

35. "Stewardesses" is the longest word that is typed with only the left hand

Just thought I would lighten the air for a minute.

LOL I am telling George Carlin....you stole his shit.....LOL:p

George Carlin used the word "FUCK" for his bit! But I'd say it's still plagiarism.

More things to ponder ladies.....

Here are a few things to think about that you probably have never

thought about (and if you have you're strange.).......

>

Can you cry under Water?

>

How important does a person have to be before they are considered

assassinated instead of just murdered?

>

Why do you have to "put your two cents in".. . but it's only a "penny

for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to?

>

Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were

buried in for eternity?

>

Why does a round pizza come in a square box?

>

What disease did cured ham actually have?

>

How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be

a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

>

Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up

like every two hours?

>

If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?

>

Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?

>

Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in

binoculars to look at things on the ground?

>

Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see

you naked anyway.

>

Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural

>

Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a

horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?

>

Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?

>

If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of

a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?

>

If Wiley E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why

didn't he just buy dinner?

>

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from

vegetables, what is baby oil made from?

>

Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same

tune?

>

Why did you just try singing the two songs above?

>

Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but

call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt?

George Carlin used the word "FUCK" for his bit! But I'd say it's still plagiarism.

I know, it was my all time fav skit. (but he did do one on Shit too its one of his older ones from the 70's) I love him .....ha ha I'd like to see him on these threads...lol can you imagine?

I'm ok with being strange. I have pondered some of these things.

Can you cry under Water? No, you have to come up for the stuttering inhale

>

How important does a person have to be before they are considered

assassinated instead of just murdered? at least two gold records, or 2 tv shows

>

Why do you have to "put your two cents in".. . but it's only a "penny

for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to? Everyone has to give more than we care to hear, the money is collected in a fund for our pain and suffering. It will be dispersed with the next tax refund checks

>

Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were

buried in for eternity? hope not, most of my family was cremated, so that means heaven is full of my nake family members

>

Why does a round pizza come in a square box? they are easier to store when broken down flat, and the most economical way to utilize all material

>

What disease did cured ham actually have? TRICHINELLA SPIRATIS

>

How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be

a good idea to put wheels on luggage? cause the russians weren't trying to be the first to make airline travel easier

>

Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up

like every two hours? my kids were weird. Slept a full 8 hours from the time we brought them home

>

If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing? yes, it isn't him hearing the case.

>

Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV? couldn't tell ya

>

Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in

binoculars to look at things on the ground? Perspective

>

Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see

you naked anyway. sense of security and privacy. We all know they are robbing us blind as it is. they gotta give us something to hold on to. Plus I really don't want anyone seeing my rattie panties before i tuck them up under my pants on the chair.

>

Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural the other version of PANTS, which is actually the american version of pantilloons...which is a totally different languages so it is ok for it to have an "s"

>

Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a

horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat? I actually prefer my toast burnt black

>

Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane? No. Not in the state of washington at least. A court case was battled over this

>

If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of

a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat? cause it would only last one show

>

If Wiley E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why

didn't he just buy dinner? he only had an ACME merchant card. an never paid his bills. acme doesn't eliver food, except bird seed, and we all know coyotes don't like bird seed.

>

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from

vegetables, what is baby oil made from? babies! Naturally!

>

Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same

tune? yes

>

Why did you just try singing the two songs above? to make sure

>

Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but

call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt? Never had a hemmeroid, but if it was as big as an asteroid I wouldn't care what it was called, just as long as the doc could remove it.

FD how is you are so wise, perhaps we should errect a church in your name?

Reprinted with permission of the Original Author:

I may be wrong, but to me a rant is long winded monologue. A rave is an excited or passionate post.

The description of the Lap-Band Talk Rants and Raves is “Gripe, complain, moan, fight, rant and rave. Enter at your own risk!”

I may be wrong again, but I assumed that “Gripe, complain, moan, fight, rant and rave” meant to debate civilly but with passion and to debate topics that do not belong in other sections, because they stir up anger and passion (like religion, politics, etc).

I may be wrong a third time, but I doubt if the owner of Lap-Band Talk expected this type of “no respect” fighting. I thought we were adults here. Most of these “fights” basically fall into one of three categories:

1. (S)he did it first

2. (S)he is bad, I am good or they are bad, we are good

3. Did, did not

I will not be drawn into these fights. I feel that people who respect this forum should not be drawn into them. I feel that people with self respect should not be drawn into them. My quoted post from above has become the object of a mini-debate. The debate about my post has remained civil, but rather than have anyone guess my intention for posting it, I felt that it would be better to give the reason to those concerned straight from the horse's mouth, though someone may counter that it seems like it was straight from the horse's ass, but I can live with that.

Tis better to Light One single Candle than to Curse the Darkness.

Tis better to be One single Member who doesn't type that One Last Reply than to Curse another Member who could not restrain from typing that One Last Reply.:help:

Ok Mr Know-It-All.

What word in the English language is singular until you ad an "s" which makes it Pural....(ok now here its the trick part)...BUT when you add a second "s" its singular again??????

Well I was reading out some of these interesting facts to my son (18) while my cat cocked her ear (contracting 18 muscles while flexing 10) and when I got to the "fact" about not being able to lick one's elbow he said, "Yes I CAN" came over and licked his elbow right in front of me.

So, who's checking these facts? I can't even get the cat to hold still while I try to count the muscles in her ear.

He licked his own elbow Kare??? Wow, maybe it only works on adults! I asked everyone I could at class (about 50 people) and none of them could lick the 'ole elbow. Maybe youngsters can . Anyone have a youngster they can ask to try it? I am fresh out! LOL Both of my old kids (college age) can't do it.

Well, he's going off to college in a week so not really a kid. I'm not sure if he's got short arms or a long tongue (!). Maybe it's his special talent. I'm not sure what percentage of people can wiggle their ears, but I've seen a couple who could wiggle them a LOT. Maybe it's a genetic thing like that.

I'll see if I can get him to let me take a pic later and I'll post it.

I sure as heck can't get anyhwere near my elbow!

hi - i love the facts your posted and the lady eating the ice cream and exercising also. could you please tell me where you got the facts your posted or could you email them to my private email at ctssharla@aol.com. tks

Want to chime in, Did you know that Polar Bears skin is black?

I think I'm relatated to the gold fish. OMGosh

Isn't she eating a chicken leg? If so, I hope its KFC!

"Two-thirds of the world's eggplant is grown in New Jersey"

What came first, the eggplant or the chickenplant? :faint: