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Is Keeping The Secret Possible?

I have decided today, that I do not want to tell anyone at work about having surgery. Lets just say there are a lot of snotty little b*****s who snarl and look you up and down when your eating.your own birthday cupcake.

So, is there any way possible to keep it a secret? Any expieriences? i was toying with saying i was having abdominal surgery but now after today im thinking of taking vacation for a week and not saying anything about surgery. I work a desk job. But we do some lifting of boxes on occasion?

Agghhhb

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  • shangefan
    shangefan

    I assume this refers to my comments earlier. I did NOT chastise you. What I said is that people need not feel compelled to tell anyone about their surgery. If they choose to, great. If not, great. It

  • shangefan
    shangefan

    Sigh! I don't think anyone has an obligation to do that. If it works for them and their life, they should do so. If that isn't in keeping with their personal priorities, they should not. Either way, t

  • I think that depends on your will to keep quiet...with me, I didn't want to tell anyone either, or so I thought...but then I felt excited and confident about it...I wanted everyone to know that I wasn

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I told no one about my surgery. I live alone. My doctors are the only ones who know. My friends and family have watched me gain and lose weight repeatedly over the years so my weight loss was nothing new. I told everyone I was doing Atkins. I'm 16 months post-op.

I told my 2 Bfs, parents, baby brother, and hubby. I did not tell my oldest brother or my teenage boys. Brothers wife is a ***** and he would tell her, and my oldest son (16 going on 30~thinks he know eveything) has no concept of social boundries so I told neither of my boys. Its no secret I have had twice yearly scopes for bleeding ulcers, so the few that asked, such as my brother I told I was getting those ulcers fixed by a surgeon. Obviously I would be on liquids mushies etc after having ulcers repaired. The other general people that I see in town etc who comment I just say I have been on a diet with high Protein limited calories etc under the care of a nutritionist. I feel it is NOBODY'S business what youdo with your body. yes there are a few out there that would be honestly proud for you, but mostly people are just cruel, esp in a small town like mine! They will say oh she took the easy way out, which is totally not true but hurtful all the same. At my preop seminar my surgeon told a story of a man that had vsg and came back to a seminar after the surgery and said this is not the easy way to lose, it is the hard way! My surgeon stressed this to us, the VSG doesn't make it easy, it just makes it possible!

just my 2 cents FWIW. But I think you should tell only who you are comfortable telling. I dont like lying either, esp to my brother, butI come first in this battle, no one else!

I also work in a very unsupportive setting and will not be telling anyone. I am scheduled for 6/25 and I am just taking vacation. I have been on the liquid diet for the past two weeks and will continue after surgery. I plan to tell everyone I am on the same liquid diet that Chaka chan is on lol

I told very few people about my new life! The nosey people @ work (so i didnt have to lift) i told them and a few nosey neighbors, I had hemorroid surgery!! LOL i Took my week off, no one asks now how my hemorroids are!!! LOL

I told my boss and a few others. I have been at my job for 10 years and they are more like family than anything else. I did however get caught in a situation during my clear liquid diet (that lasted for 3 weeks post-op) in which I went to a training seminar and when everyone went to eat a beautiful lunch together and I was left behind. Everyone kept asking me over and over if I was ok, why wasnt I eating, and if they could get me anything. I finally caved and just said what I had done. The outcome? An amazing amount of support that I still have right now! I agree there are some people you shouldnt tell for your own sanity, but its been really great having people both at home and at work that have my back and care about my journey!

I told very few people about my new life! The nosey people @ work (so i didnt have to lift) i told them and a few nosey neighbors' date=' I had hemorroid surgery!! LOL i Took my week off, no one asks now how my hemorroids are!!! LOL[/quote']

And now I am googling hemorrhoid surgery.

I used hernia surgery as my reason do surgery and it worked and u can't lift with that surg wither.

I am troubled by the amount of threads like this there are on the forums. So many people feel like they can't tell anyone for fear of what they might think or say. It's easy for me to say "heck with those people" but I know it isn't as easy for everyone. I hope you all can at least find one person you trust who you can count on for support.

My real hope is that after you've had your surgery and lost weight your self confidence will rise to the point that you won't care what others might think, and you'll tell the world. Why? Because then possibly you'll inspire someone else who is struggling with the decision to have surgery. Plus the more people who are open and honest about WLS, the less stigma there will be.

Also, please think about this. When the day comes that you do feel like telling the people you care about, will it be even more damaging that you kept it a secret? I know the answer to that is different for every situation. I just don't want any of you to regret your decision later on.

I only told people close to me everyone else I told I had my gallbladder removed.(which I did) I really feel like its my business only. I know some people MAY support you but I perfer them to support the weight loss not the reason. I am currently 12 days after and fighting to eat soft food trying to get enough protein and water. I really don't have time to listen to potenial Nay sayers....Nope sure dont

Not everyone has supportive people in their lives, the ones that do, you are blessed. Some people like myself feel that most people in my life would be unsupportive. And Its not always an issue of worrying what these unsupportive people think or say, sometimes it just that you dont want to deal with them. Also, not telling someone doesnt constitute lying, its just not telling them! Its a very personal journey & is up to the individual who they tell & who they dont. Anyone that wants to keep this surgery to themselves dont let others make you feel guilty for doing so.

  • Author

There is a reason a lot of people are overweight, a lot of it has to deal with emotional issues, and with that comes lack of confidence and insecurity. I know how stupid it is for myself to care so much what others think or say about me. I know I shouldnt value what snotty b*****s think about me, but unfortunately, I do. One of things I miss most about being healthy is confidence! Even after surgery and weightloss.....i probably wont tell people at work though. I feel it is too intimate to share with people I dont know, or people who dont care about me.

I havent had my surgery. And honestly I have no big morals against lying... And to anyone whos not important to me def. I told my family and closest friend besides that, such as coworkers I told the I have a tumor its gonna be removed this date, possibly chemo after (hair loss and weight loss explained) ive had cancer also before, and maybe this makes me a bad person. But hey itll get everyone off my ass with all their questions once I have the surgery. Bein fat is my cancer

I decided not to say anything at work. Instead i have been seen drinking protein drinks and ive brought my tennis shoes to work and taken walks and have been heard to say that Im getting ready to kick it up a notch. I guess they will think that im working harder when i start losing weight!

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I've told almost everyone I know. I feel like I'm admitting I need help and I know I new it. I can care less what others think of me. Love me or not I'm doing this for myself. If u want to judge then that's their problem. But I am proud of who I am and my accomplishments. I love myself and love life. I just want to gain my life back by not being insecure and feeling confident. Amen!

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