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Is Keeping The Secret Possible?



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I have decided today, that I do not want to tell anyone at work about having surgery. Lets just say there are a lot of snotty little b*****s who snarl and look you up and down when your eating.your own birthday cupcake.

So, is there any way possible to keep it a secret? Any expieriences? i was toying with saying i was having abdominal surgery but now after today im thinking of taking vacation for a week and not saying anything about surgery. I work a desk job. But we do some lifting of boxes on occasion?

Agghhhb

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There is so much that will be different, the 3 weeks of liquids only, then mushy, then tiny meals following with weighloss as well. Seems like it would be a dead giveaway. I mean is there anyway to be discreet about this lol?

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I think that depends on your will to keep quiet...with me, I didn't want to tell anyone either, or so I thought...but then I felt excited and confident about it...I wanted everyone to know that I wasn't being lazy about my weight, that I was making the hardest decision there was in regards to my weight! So, I told people, and didnt care who was supportive, and who wasn't...it was my body, my health and my life! The only person that mattered in this situation was ME! So, if you are more comfortable staying quiet, then do so, but please realize the only person who matters in this issue is YOU!!!!

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I understand. I feel fine telling my friends and family....no problem there, but honestly a lot of the women at work are super judgemental. Take today, it wasva coworkers and my birthday so they got us cupcakes. You should have seen the nasty up and down look two of us got from a member of management as we were eating out cupcakes . First she looked at the cupcakes on our plates, scoffed then looked us up and down. Another time, we were discussing at lunch that we needed to get ourselves into the gym and our gym patterns ect. Well another snotty memeber of management scoffed and said " well dont stop going, I havent missed a day at the gym in 16 years" then walked away. Just rude. If it was some nobody at work I could care less, but management is different. Some of these women are extremely snotty. I would prefer they didnt know.

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I used to work in a place like that... I wouldn't say anything either. They may guess or figure it out but just make it a non-topic. Take your breaks/lunch out in your car, if you can... so you can have that time to yourself away from wandering eyes... It will definitely be hard though, seems like in office settings everyone is always in somebody else's business!

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Whatever you decide to do start putting it in motion now that way when you have surgery there will be not much of a change in your routine. If you go to you car like Hsteinle said then start before surgery. Don't give them reason to talk or try to figure out what's going on. People will talk no matter what you just have to be strong enough to ignore the naysayers and know that you made this decision for you no matter what anyone else says. Keep Your Head Up! You deserve it.

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If you don't want to tell them, then don't. It's your business. I haven't told anyone but immediate family and two others. As far as work is concerned, I'm going on vacation to Cancun. Which is all TRUE! That's where my surgery is. I have been on a strict Liquid Protein diet before going on vacation, again true...Not sure what to say, when I start dropping a large amount of weight on return to work. I don't believe in lying! I agree with the person who said to take your lunch outside, Maybe put on work-out shoes and go for a walk. Then you can say, your watching your calories and exercising.

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I agree, it's your business. I told some people before, my boss new, and I took FMLA and sick leave because I was out 12 days. If you take medical, your HR department shouldn't share that with people and they cannot tell others why you are out. I also wanted to make sure if, God forbid, there was a complication, I had all my ducks in a row for FMLA and short term disability in case I needed to be out longer.

Now that I have had surgery and people are starting to notice the weight loss, I find I am more open about who I tell. Some people, I simply state I'm on a "special diet" or I am doing high Protein, low carbs. Others, I tell them the truth. I don't care if people want to judge me and claim it's the easy way out (Lord knows it's not). I made a decision to extend my life long-term and if they can say negative things about that, they are the ones that look bad.

But, you have to do what is right for you in your eyes.

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If you don't want to tell them, then don't. It's your business. I haven't told anyone but immediate family and two others. As far as work is concerned, I'm going on vacation to Cancun. Which is all TRUE! That's where my surgery is. I have been on a strict liquid Protein diet before going on vacation, again true...Not sure what to say, when I start dropping a large amount of weight on return to work. I don't believe in lying! I agree with the person who said to take your lunch outside, Maybe put on work-out shoes and go for a walk. Then you can say, your watching your calories and exercising.

I don't want to tell EVERYONE so for the people who are curious about my meight loss I plan to tell them I was on a strict, low carb, high Protein diet and that is the truth...minus a detail. lol

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People will figure it out. Here is the kicker. I just started a new position and one of my employees already knew I had the surgery. Google will tell your life story. If you do a google search, all these forums that you are apart of will show up. It is your business. Since outing myself on Facebook and at work about the surgery, three people are considering it. I lost 53 pounds in 5 weeks, plus I was out for almost two weeks. Do what makes you feel comfortable.

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I had told a select group where I work. I had origianlly planned on not telling the rest of my team because many of them are part of the gossip groups. Anyway, on my last day of work before my surgery; we had our team meeting. The one person I cannot abide had to leave mid-meeting.

.

Anyway, when it came to the end of the meeting were we all provide what we are working on I finally spoke up. I was the last one to speak. I said something like, "Well you all know I'm having surgery on Tues. I'm having VSG for weight-loss." The room went dead quiet and the looks on their faces were disbelief. The meeting ended and my remaining team members sat and talked with me for 30min about my decision. They were all proud that I wad taking this step. I also asked them NOT to spread it around because I knew once I returned everyone would be asking how I lost so much weight.

It's all a matter of personal choice. Do what you feel is right in your heart.

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I really never understood why people worry about what others will say or think lol this is your life your journey do what's best for you but ican imagine liquids then pureed then mushies will be a dead give away oh the mood swings too haha goodluck<3

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oh also ididnt lie to ppl told them iwas having a weightloss surgery called vsg && they all supported me many didn't get the surgery but it motivated them to lose weight which is great! knowing that I've touched ppl inspired them

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oh also ididnt lie to ppl told them iwas having a weightloss surgery called vsg && they all supported me many didn't get the surgery but it motivated them to lose weight which is great! knowing that I've touched ppl inspired them

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
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