I understand everyone is different but I'd like to ask about recovery. If/when I have surgery my husband will be deployed. My family is unwilling to help apart from watching my kids while I'm in surgery and until I get discharged. I have one person that told me they would drive me to the hospital and back home but no one is able to stay at my house with me. Is the recovery bad enough that I will need someone here with me for a few days?

I would say you will need someone with you for at least the first week.

well, if you will have a drain, u need to stay at the hospital, because the first 3 days were very bad for me, because of moving with the drain, but after that, i was just nauseous nothing else, dont do anything that requires lots of movement, but it was pretty okay for me, i went to university 5 days after the surgery!

I'm 3 days post-surgery and i say definitely yes, you should find help at least for the first few days. I'm feeling pretty good today (with pain pills) but bending over or lifting anything are still painful. And I don't have kids to take care of. You will need to take care of yourself.

I did it completely solo and was fine.

My surgery was outpatient. I of course needed someone to drive me home and back the next morning for my leak test. I didn't have anyone to help me except I had someone feed my rabbits (50) for 2 days. I didn't need any help. I drove myself back on post op day 3 for drain removal. I did fine, and I'm old.

How old are the children? Lifting any child can most definitely cause a leak. That's something I was told that a high percentages of leaks happen because you lifted something. I was told you shouldn't lift anything heavier than a gallon of milk. Take it from someone that had several stomach surgeries, lifting a gallon of milk is out at first. If you have a drain, that will need to be cleaned and you will have to have that taken out when the doctor advises it be done. There is no driving for a specific period of time as set forth by your doctor.

Coughing, laughing, sneezing, throwing up is painful and if you can find someone anyone to be with you for a week it would be worth it. A leak can be really super painful and require another surgery, so lifting or carrying a child could be dangerous.

Yes, my main question would be how old are your children? If they are a little older, maybe 9 and up, you can really prepare them for it and let them know they may need to do more thing on their own. Kids love to be independent so they might really enjoy playing nurse to mom. It would just mean some planning ahead, getting things in the house they can make themselves, single serve fruit/pudding cups, etc, sandwich fixings, cheese sticks, it is summer so you can go with foods that don't need cooked. You could even teach them how to help with laundry, a step stool and mom standing by to supervise and they can do it. This could be a huge learning experience for a child of a certain age, even learning to take care of a younger sibling.

My 8 year started taking out trash and picking everything up for me, I had someone at home but he had to work... So I had a lot of one on one with my kid he loved helping and taking care of me, I would say I needed someone at home at least two or three days after school till the kid went to bed, I then would go to bed and get him up for school cereal for breakfast and off to school he went and I'd sleep. Help with shopping is recomened no pushing carts, ride the motorized and have the bagged load your car. Is there maybe a group that helps deployed families that might have a mom who could stay with your for a couple days. First two weeks is when the sleeve can leak so that is the most important time to be carful where are you stationed

You will most likely be able to take care of yourself, but the children may be another matter. Is there any possibility of getting someone to help with them.

On the other hand, some people on this board have taken care of themselves and their children without help. It really depends on your own surgery experience and how well the children can help take care of themselves/each other.

You will be very tired, so if you children are super young and require continual supervision I would say you need help at least for a week. You will be tired until about the 4th week.

Great question... Im single with kids & have moved to a new State where I know nobody (except work mates - who I wont be telling) so am totally on my own with this. I was wondering the same thing. Im hoping I can look after myself after surgery with some help from my kids? Also I wanted to know how soon after surgery could I drive??

WOW thank you all for responding! My oldest is 9 and *very* helpful, plus a 4 1/2 year old and my youngest is nearly 2 and potty training right now. The biggest problem with her is diaper changes (she's tiny so I still use a changing table) and getting her in and out of her crib. She is training well though and we are actually switching her to her toddler bed soon. I shouldnt have to drive anywhere for a while. Oldest child is riding the bus next year and preschooler's school is less than a mile away--walking distance. If I have to I'll wait until my husband is back. I hate to wait that long but if it will help me heal better I will. I have heard the hospital I will use if I have surgery does use drains and you go home at 36-48 hours.

When are you expecting surgery? Any chance the 2 year old will be potty trained by then? And in toddler bed? Also, do you have any friends that could come stay with you? Even a friends teenage child would be a big help!! Maybe put out the word that you are looking for someone to help (are you near or on the base?).

Oh also, if you belong to a church that would be a great resource!

Well will send prayers to your husband. How long will he be deployed? Did you get a date yet or are you just starting the journey?

Speak to your doctor's office and see what they have to say. Perhaps closer to your date you will find a friend or relative or someone willing to pop on by and help out a little bit. I'm sorry that this just adds more stress for you. Good luck.