So, since this is TMI... I recommend you stop reading if reading about, erm, anatomical details makes you uncomfortable.

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You have been warned

So, this question is for the guys, but ladies -- maybe there's a parallel? I've been having some... ahem. SORENESS lately. On a very, ahem, private part of my body. OK, we're all grown ups here -- on my penis. Specifically, it's external, on the underside.

As a sexually active male, the first time I realized this was going on, I immediately freaked out and rushed to the doc. for a full STD screen. I play safe, but... you can't be too careful, right?

Well, the doc tested me for everything we could think of, from simple to scary, easily dealt-with to chronic, viral and bacterial. I had blood drawn, I got to have my doctor man-handle my junk (oh, joy), I peed in a cup. The good news is: I'm clean. The bad news is: I still have no idea what's up.

So what's going on? Why's Mr. Happy sore all the time? The doc couldn't tell me, but he told me not to worry about illness or disease, because he couldn't find anything with about a dozen different tests. I was thinking about it yesterday and I realized something: I'm skinnier. I mean, a lot skinnier. Two years ago, I was wearing giant, baggy, 48 inch waist jeans, now I'm finding that my 36 inch waist jeans are "comfy" and I can easily fit into 34 inch waist jeans when I feel like being all 'sexy'. The soreness could just be -- drum roll, please -- chafing! I realized that it hurts in EXACTLY the place where Mr. Happy would be rubbing against my boxers when I'm out walking in my new, snug jeans! Couple that with the fact that I tend to wear fairly loose-fitting boxers (and they're made of cotton, which is warm and snuggly, but can turn into sandpaper with enough movement!) and you may well have a recipe for OUCH.

Today I'm wearing 36 inch jeans instead of 34 inch, and I'm wearing my snug-fitting lycra boxer/briefs instead of the cotton boxers -- they fit much snugger, and they have a very smooth, almost silky texture. That, plus the looser jeans, and I bet you I'll discover that all of my scary "soreness" goes away within a few days.

Such are the joys of being a man, and a hypochondriac, and losing lots of weight. Gents, be warned!

My mind went straight to the gutter. Gotta admit... Thought you were going to say it was because you were... Hmmm... How do you say?... Rougher lol. But keep with boxer briefs unless for sexy date. Better for your boys and less movement :-)

My mind went straight to the gutter. Gotta admit... Thought you were going to say it was because you were... Hmmm... How do you say?... Rougher lol. But keep with boxer briefs unless for sexy date. Better for your boys and less movement :-)

I have to say the women on here know what they are talking about.

OK here is the best thing you can do for this, corn startch first then aquaphour it will work over night promise! Lol then use the corn startch when you know it is going to be rubbing or sweaty!

LOL... really knowledgeable folks on here, especially the women!

I won't say I haven't had any... um, rougher activities, but -- as much as I'd like to brag -- not enough to cause this degree of chafing. No, sadly, the cause this time was cotton and denim, not vodka and wild nights out

I'm absolutely speechless. Mark this one on the calendar.

Think that's why I jumped there. Been thinking about Jack all day and my young days lol. But, to be completely honest, I'm always in the gutter lol

Sorry Lissa... I started it lol. I'll go to the corner lol

LOL... really knowledgeable folks on here' date=' especially the women!

I won't say I haven't had any... um, rougher activities, but -- as much as I'd like to brag -- not enough to cause this degree of chafing. No, sadly, the cause this time was cotton and denim, not vodka and wild nights out [/quote']

The monkey butt is very safe for the "No,No's" as my 4 yr old calls them as they make the stuff specifically for changing babies and irritations in that specific area. If you can't find it in anywhere else in the store it will be in the diaper rash section. Though I also believe they keep some in the pharmacy area with the ointments like Blue Star and such..LOL...and thanks for the honesty. Feels good to know we can all be open and honest here!! And I agree, its prolly the boxers...NSV, can't have the junk hangin and swingin anymore due to my weight loss!!!

It's okay, Star. YOU didn't leave me speechless. This is a g-rated forum usually, so I had no response to Ourborous' last post!

A woman after my own heart Lissa lol

Yeah, Star, I sometimes have to remind myself that prison humor/attitude doesn't work in a g-rated forum. I work really hard not to drop curse words into posts here. 13 years after my last work day in a prison, I still use way too much salty language.

BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Love it!

Gonna definitely have to check out this monkey butt powder. It's safe for the, um junkal area?

it came out to help babies with diaper rash so i think you would be safe

Lanacane sells chafing cream that is off the hook:) anti monkey butt works excellent too but I love the lanacane!!

I'm absolutely speechless. Mark this one on the calendar.

*laugh* Seriously? I didn't even use any naughty words, just hinted at crazy-good-times! I thought you were made of sterner stuff