Why Doesn't Anyone Say Anything?

[MegInNOLA 531]

My husband also says that men aren't usually going to comment, and if they do, they won't be specific--it will be something like, "You look nice." I will also say that it took about 65 pounds before anyone said word one to me about it--I was kind of getting upset about nobody noticing!! You are about to enter the point at which every 10 pounds will make a big visual impact. :-) Enjoy your success!!

[viana1 16]

I have been told that any mention of weight gained or lost is rude. I don't agree

[2bHotGirl 3]

I always wondered the same thing. I was given the sack of potatoes analogy. If you have a big sack of potatoes and take three away do you really notice a difference? But if you have five potatoes and take three away it is much more noticeable.

If course we notice, but others might not be so sure.

This really helped put things in prospective for me. People are uncomfortable asking about weight. It is a big psychological issue, as we all know since we have gone through that trauma.

[MinaT 669]

I have been up and down my entire life, high of 330 and low 128. I myself find it rude when people talk about my weight, whether or not I gained or lost weight. It's not a good feeling when someone comes up to you and says "wow, looks like you lost weight." Especially when I know I gained a few pounds. I had a doctor once say, you need to stop gaining weight, after I lost 20 lbs. Neither are good feelings.

The problem with people's self image is that they depend on what other people's image of them are. You can't control what other people think about you, so why care? I learned this the hard way.

There are going to be people that treat you better when you lose weight that treated you like crap when you were heavier. Are you really a better person? I know I was the sweetest person in the world before I lost a ton of weight and I became jaded. I got better tips, I got higher paying jobs, I had the door opened for me. It really made me bitter for a long time. I became a cockier paralegal, cockier waitress, I became more self-absorbed, yet I was tipped better and my salary at a law firm almost doubled! I honestly disliked the fact that people that didn't pay attention to me before treated me better, gave me more respect.

I hated that after I got sick and eventually gained all the weight back that the invitations stopped, the door opened for me stopped, that I became a ghost, people cut in front of me in lines, I became the person that had to walk around others, that was getting treated like I didn't matter.

I'm losing weight for me now, I am going into this surgery with my eyes opened and I'm not going to rely on other people's feedback on my self-worth or to make me feel better about myself. My parents don't care about how I look they care about my health, as does my husband and son. They all think I'm beautiful as I am, their concern is my health. The people that think I'm beautiful....but...I could stand to lose a few pounds, don't matter to me anymore.

[rdoactv 218]

I agree with most here. I think its such a sensitive and uncomfortable subject. Kindof like when someone sees us after a while, it would be completely unacceptable to say "wow! You've packed in the pounds!", it is just as unacceptable to point out other physical changes unless they know for sure that the change is a purposeful and positive one.

[urbandecayno5 40]

I think they just don't want to say anything because weight is usually a touchy subject. A few years ago when I use to smoke I had an old man come up to me and tell me I shouldn't be smoking when im pregnant. Needless to say I wasn't pregnant just fat

[FluffyDiva345 23]

I was looking at your before weights and current. You are close to my pre op and post weights and I have had the similar reponses. My mom says that once I get down past 200 people will really start to notice.. I hope so! 48 lbs and only my family and a couple close friends really say anything. lol Hang in there!

Amanda

I am new to this site. When others say look at the pics on their profile I can't. How do you view profiles?

[LindaS 316]

I have found that many don't recognize me. I have been mistaken for my husband's new girlfriend. But people tend not to comment if they aren't sure why you are losing.

Then there is the other side of the coin: The other day, I was walking out of my local post office and a man was behind me. He said, "Wow, how much weight have you lost?" I answered, and he replied, "Your looking good."

I got back in my car and immediately asked my husband who the man was because I didn't know. I recognized his name though. I know his wife knew about my surgery, which is how he must have known. It was funny and unsettling though since I wasn't sure he was when he asked, but I answered anyway.

[topper12345 19]

I've lost 52 pounds and have dropped 4 pant sizes' date=' 2 bra/top sizes. My family can see my weight loss through the webcam, and I absolutely know it's noticeable. I have the measurements from every two weeks that show I've lost over 10 inches in my waist alone, 8 in my hips. So why aren't more people saying something when they see me? I've run into over a dozen people who knew me at my heaviest, they talk to me for 15 minutes or more and don't say a word. I've literally had ONE friend say something to me and he whispered it in my ear, "Am I crazy or have you lost a substantial amount of weight?" To which he high-fived me, but it was odd he didn't want to say it out loud. Yesterday I ran into a recent former co-worker who sat NEXT two me for over a year and has been friends with me for over five -- and he didn't say a thing!!

Am I crazy, or are people ashamed to point it out?[/quote']

Just keep doing what you are doing. Sometimes people do not know what or how to express things. Sounds like your head is playing with you -smile. Listen, that is not a problem....the problem would be if YOU DID NOT SEE IT. AND BY THE WAY....YOU ARE NOT CRAZY, JUST SIMPLY BEAUTIFUL, NOW STRUT YOUR STUFF.