I've been having pre-op tests and I've been managing to do it discreetly by taking a sick day here and a personal day there. I really don't want to tell my co-workers why I'm going be out of the office. I just don't want the people I work with monitoring my weight loss and making what I eat their concern. Been there -- "Debi, should you be eating that?" Makes me uncomfortable. When I did the South Beach Diet last year, I think I was scrutinized as much as the department budget. I know most people mean well, but I don't want attention focused on my diet successes & failures. This is my journey, bumps and all.

For those of you who didn't share your surgery with your co-workers, what did you tell them? Perhaps down the road, when I feel successful and more confiident in myself, I'd be willing to share my weight loss experience, but in the beginning I'd like to keep it to my immediate family.

Any suggestions?

I really didnt want anyone at work to find out..I told a couple close friends about it...I couldnt take sick leave due to at my job it "doesnt constitute sick leave usage" so I planned mine for the first day of my week vacation and was back bright eyed and bushy tailed a week after feeling fine...Of course the choice few that I told were happy that I had it done and shared it with everyone else...Now I kinda feel like everyone is watching me and if I dont lose I am a failure...Everyday someone asks "so how much have you lost now?" and its kind of annoying especially when your stuck at a certain weight for a while, but I just laugh it off and go on! But I know in the end I will be alot healthier and happier about it regardless if its slow...After all, it is better for your body if you lose it slow anyways!

My Dr wouldnt even schedule me for my second fill yet...He told me that once I started losing less that 4-6 lbs in a month to come in for another one...They said that a second one is basically a must because after a while you lose some fatty tissue around your stomache making the band loser

I was able to keep my LBS a secret until I got back in the states. I didn't want my co workers trying to talk me out of having surgery in Mexico, putting in their 2 cents worth, etc. I work in a small office and everyone knows everyone's business but I think once mine was out in the open it was much better for me. My eating habits have changed drastically and people would have noticed that at least. My boss had to know because I was going to be off work for a few days (I ended up taking a whole week off! Seven incisions vs. the regular four....) and he was real understanding. Tell your co workers if you want to but they are going to find out when you start dropping weight and your eating habits are different.

banded 071506 Dr Garcia, Monterry, Mexico www.litenfree.com

335 highest

317 pre op

288 today (My one month anniversery!)

145ish goal

I told my closest friends at work and my back up who does my job while I am gone. But as far as my boss and everyone else I just told them I was taking a four day weekend and was back to work on Monday. No one evr questioned me about it or anything. But now I really don't care who knows what I did because I am in a good place about it and am doing this only for myself. And if I don't want someone to know then I feel it is my business to not tell them. However I won't lie about it if I am asked. :gossip:

debbie,

I feel the same exact way as you, it is a personal journey and no one elses business, for the preops I have told people that I need to have tests done for a possible hernia, I would have said gallbladder but I still have it, so it is also setting me up for my excuse for time off at surgery. I will just say the need to operate on the hernia! Best of luck to you!

I used the gallbladder excuse. most of the time they also put you on a special diet beofre surgery. I also have NASH so the whol diet thing goes right along with that.

Cindyn

I am in the same boat. I only told one of my sisters. My other sister doesn't know. I chose not to tell her because she doesn't have very good bounderies. She tends to tell people/friends things that I find are very personal. I do, however,feel terrible guilt.I don't know what I will do later on after the surgery but for now I chose to leave it the way it is. As far as my co-workers, it doesn't bother me in the least. It's my business and not anyone elses. Good luck.

Regards,

My co-workers have seen me yo-yo up and down from size 22 to size 8 for 8 years now. So, I am lucky that they will not be suspicious of any weight loss drop.

They have seen me try every diet imaginable with great weight loss success. It's the keeping it off part and then passing my original weight that is my problem. Hopefully they will just think I finally found something that works for me.

I told my boss and a really good friend at work who is discrete but don't want to tell anyone else there at all. It's a very personal thing to me - don't even know if I'm going to tell my extended family, just kids and forum friends. I'm going to just take a vacation week so no one will think anything of it.

I have to say that these few that I have told were extremely supportive and positive

I think you have some pretty good ideas here. I told my boss i was having minor surgery and he just asked if it was anyhing he needed to be concerned about and i said no and that was it. Later i asked him to take a client to a coffee house for a meeting becaue he told me the guy was just getting over the flu and i mentioned I couldn't afford to get sick while i was recovering. He did it! I don't have any other co-workers to speak of so it wasn't hard for me. However, I have always manintained a don't tell policy - i've only told my sig other and one close friend (and that was 6 months after surgery). I'm a very slow loser and esp glad now i didn't - i too have endured years of everyone inc strangers commenting on everything i put in my mouth, what my size is, should i be eating that, etc - i just can't take it. if you can, i would just take vacation days and keep my mouth shut about anytype of surgery - it is none of their business.

When I get banded next month I too plan to keep it a secret from family and friends. I am a stay-at-home mom so I don't have the work issues to deal with. However, a few years ago I dealt with the same thing when I had breast reduction surgery. I told my boss I wished to keep the reason for my short-term-disability and FMLA confidential. End of story. I worked for a health insurance company. I know about HIPAA laws (Health Insurance Portability and Accountability Act) and medical confidentiality is taken very seriously these days. So you are not obligated to tell anyone (not even your boss) anything about your medical business. Co-workers can sit and wonder why is she absent (maybe she went to detox, maybe cosmetic surgery, disease treatment, a sex change, hemoroid surgery, a psychiatric institution???) Let them guess. Who cares what they think. Just tell them you prefer to keep your all your medical matters private and keep your head high. The only people who need to know are human resources - and they must keep this info confidential too.

Good luck!

sweesue,

Does Human Resourses need to know what the surgery is? Or the letter could state that I will be out for a week b/c I had surgery. (Not being specific on the type of surgery).

I sent my request to my boss and wimped out and just said " I need to take these days off as vacation time"

I totally lost my nerve! I just think it would get back to people that I was out for a medical reason and then the girls I work with would harrass me. I mean, they are great, but the peeps I work with don't even understand the concept of "personal and conifidential" I have a ton of vacation time so that part is OK.

As far as what details Human Resources needs to know, I'm not quite sure. If your company employs and umbudsman, that may be a good place to start. Try to obtain an STD form and take a look at it and see what it says. Also, ask your doctor. According to your doctor and your insurance company, you require surgery that was deemed medically necessary. What more do they need to know?

I didn't think so. My surgeon just said he would write the letter as he has done many times to employers stating that the patient had surgery. I think that's all they need to know.

em