I've been having pre-op tests and I've been managing to do it discreetly by taking a sick day here and a personal day there. I really don't want to tell my co-workers why I'm going be out of the office. I just don't want the people I work with monitoring my weight loss and making what I eat their concern. Been there -- "Debi, should you be eating that?" Makes me uncomfortable. When I did the South Beach Diet last year, I think I was scrutinized as much as the department budget. I know most people mean well, but I don't want attention focused on my diet successes & failures. This is my journey, bumps and all.

For those of you who didn't share your surgery with your co-workers, what did you tell them? Perhaps down the road, when I feel successful and more confiident in myself, I'd be willing to share my weight loss experience, but in the beginning I'd like to keep it to my immediate family.

Any suggestions?

Anotherme,

I noticed you have a fill every 2-3 months. Did your Dr say it will be that way until you get to your goal weight? Just curious. My Dr said I would only have 1 or maybe 2 more fills ever.

Stella

I am scheduled Sept 11. I have told my boss I will need to be out 2 weeks and it is just surgery I "need" to have done and this is true. That is it. No ones business. I told my husband and daughter and a woman I work with who is having it done too. I do plan on telling my sister. We talk every day and will think it weird of me being out of work two weeks. I hope I will be ready for work at end of second one. I have a desk at work but there is a bit of walking aroudn as well. what I said to my boss was I hope to be back on the MOnday following my second week but I will have stiches with this procedure so it depends how I feel. He said no problem. Just let me know. He is a great boss.

"Oh what tangled web we weave, when first we practice to deceive......"

I too was (am) determined to keep this surgery to myself. I'm being banded on Wednesday (!!!!) and wanted to tell just a few people, not the whole world. So I took advice I got here decided to tell people I was getting a hiatal hernia repaired.

WELL....the first person I had to tell exclaimed "Oh, I had that surgery! Which side are you getting done?" OMG....I almost had a heart attack on the spot. Which SIDE?!? I'm not a good liar....my face turned red and I hemmed and hawed and finally came out with something. She wanted to know EVERYTHING. I told her as much as I could without being totally stupid. The next time I saw her she pulled me aside and told me she'd be praying for me. Oh, heavens.....I felt just horrible.

But now I'm stuck with the story and even though I didn't handle it well - I am still glad I didn't tell her about the lap band surgery. Like many others here, I'm not comfortable sharing that information and want no one looking at me and monitoring the speed of my weight loss - something people tend to do when you get a procedure like this. What if I am a slow loser - a good possibility - I just don't want the added pressure.

SO...my advice is that if you come up with another substitute surgery, have one in mind, google it, read up on it and know which side you're having it on, lol.

Gotta run!

Stella,

In the seminars I attended, they did make it seem as though it would only take 1-2 fills for you to lose the desired weight.

But everyone is different; both in the amount of weight they wish to lose, size of band, etc. I felt more comfortable going slowly, only .5 cc at a time. So, as a rule I schedule a fill when I'm feeling as though I don't have enough restriction.

I have a friend who was banded a month after me, her doctor requires his patients to have adjustments every 6 weeks. Small ones of .3 or .4 cc, that and her daily exercise she's lost 90 lbs since Nov 2005. I'm at 50 lbs gone... for me that's 5 lbs a month. While not great, I can live with it. And, while I hope it does not take another 10 months to lose the other remaining 45-50 lbs... I know what I need to be doing, now I just gotta get off my rump!

All the best,

Karla

I agree that not being honest about the reason for my surgery could get sticky and I'd like to be an inspiration to others who struggle with their weight by letting them know about the lapband, but I don't want to deal with living in a fishbowl at work. The people who will be my greatest support are my family, not my co-workers. I have found that at work it's best to keep personal matters private. Besides, most of the people I work with look terrific. Very few overweight. I would certainly stand out in a group photo. Of course, if I met someone outside of work who I thought would benefit by my lap band experience, I'd be glad to help.

Regards... Debi

I am in full agreement with you. My feeling is that many people are not coming from a good place. People gossip and can say mean things. I don't want to be under scrutiny nor do I want to be the topic of my co-workers conversations while I'm not there. Our family and friends care and are concerned about our well-being. Although many of us have great relationships with our co-workers, I don't believe it's any of their business.

I will have to be out for a week or so. My surgeon said when his patients are out of work from WLS, he writes that the patient had surgery and will need to rest for approximately one week. And when my co-workers ask me, (some of whom I'm close to) I will tell them I had a hiatel hernia repaired. I googled it and I seem pretty comfortable with that diagnosis. It's pretty much the same type of procedure minus the installation of the band.

Regards,

I have a few back problems, BUT I had told ONE trusted friend, then saw them at a restaurant, and her hubby shouted"I hear you are having that surgery. I am now trying to back paddle. I told her it was cancelled, due to still too much back pain! I am now retelling her, I am having a nerve block fror my back. She probably knows, but will never be sure. it also helped that the surgeon postponed it!! I hate to be deceitful, but she has broken my trust!

Cathy

It's very tough to trust people. In your case, even your friend. I know many friends that would tell their husbands. It's a normal behavior. However, if someone tells someone something in confidence, it should remain that way. I'm so sorry. I also told my best friend who is a psychologist by trade. They are trained to keep all things confidential. Besides, I would trust her with my own life. I know she hasn't told her husband b/c she feels that he has a big mouth (non-malicious). I felt if I kept it to my DH, mom, sister and best friend it shouldn't go any further than that.

Good luck.

They actually found two hernias when they ent in to do my band surgery. Only my direct boss knows about what actually happened as I had to get an approved FEMLA leave of abscence. She has kept it very confidential. She even arranged for "work at home days" for me to get my pre-op testing and Dr. visits without dipping into my PTO days. Everyone else just thinks I had the hernias repaired.

I am a horrible liar so I don't think I could make something up. I would get my story messed up or something. I only actually work with one person, I am a paralegal and i work for an attorney who is a solo practitioner. She already knows that I am looking at the surgery and is very encouraging. She knows someone who had it and even put me in touch with that person. She is awesome! The offiice that we share space with, however, I don't want to tell. I have no reason to tell them I am going to be out. There are three women that work over there and I barely know them. It's really none of their business anyway. If they were to ask, I might say something like minor stomach surgery. That is what the lap band is, after all! It's not a lie even though it's not the whole truth. Of course, when I finally get the surgery, and if I lose weight, I'll be so happy that I'll be shouting it from the mountaintops! I guess right now, before I even know if i can get insurance approval and all that stuff, I just don't know how I will react.

I told my boss, who is female, that I had something on an ovary that they wanted to go in and look at laprocopically. Sounded good to her, so I went and researched ovarian tumors, etc. online just so that if I needed to talk about it, I could. But I also explained to her that it was very private, I didn't want anyone to worry, and didn't want anyone else to know. So, the only people that know are my hubby, mother, father and sister. Not even my kids or best friend know.

Rebekah

215/164/125

Fill tomorrow!

banded 03/13/06

I, fortunately/unfortunately, am very close with several women I work with. While I love them, I'm not telling them about surgery. I KNOW they are going to harrass me about where I am going so I have contemplated many excuses. Uterine fibroids? Colposcopy? Or, I may just say I am taking a few days off to hang with my husband. Then when I come back I'll say 'yeah, I'm doing this liquid fast', etc. Taking time off isn't so big of a deal. It's answering to my nosey co-workers that will suck!

I didn't tell my coworkers that I was having weight loss surgery, but I did tell them that I was having surgery and it was very personal and that I really didn't want to talk about it. I work in a small office and we are all very close. We have lunch together every single day. It would have been hard to hide the fact that I'm eating very differently, so I just told them that I had to eat carefully for awhile. Eventually, I did tell them, but added while I don't mind talking about it occasionally, I didn't want it to be the topic of all conversation. They have been great about it.

In a larger office where you don't eat together, it would have been easier to keep the whole thing quiet.

I just want to reply to not wanting to tell co-workers. I too didn't tell any of my co-workers because same reason as you I didn't want the food police watching everything I did and had to eat. I took four days off of work and just said I was having a long weekend with my Husband. No one seemed concerned or questioned anything about it. However after coming home from surgery on the 27th and going back to work I have felt like I have a whole new control over my life and eating once again. Food is not controlling me anymore. I am 17 days out of being banded and have lost 10 pounds so far and just that much I am feeling great. I have started telling people at work about what I have done and they are first amazed that I didn't tell them and also that I didn't take much time off of work. But I feel great is what I would tell them and so far all are leaving me along as far as the food goes. Time will tell of course but I figure this is my battle and mine alone to tackle. And I will only listen to support and not negativity. So as far as not telling people at your work I totally agree you tell them when and if you are ready too! :cheer2:

I had plans on telling only my daugher and husband. I have felt terribible guilt on not telling my sister who I share it all with. I told her I had suregery coming up and I opted for the ovary thing. Well today I fessed up and I feel like a weight has been lifted. I cannot lie to her of all people. She is very supportive and I actually sent her the info. She said not one has to know and she will not tell people which she will not. We are very close. As far a work people I am not telling anyone.