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One Year Ago Today I Changed The Course Of My Life
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Friends-
Today, I Celebrate one of my biggest moments of bravery. I celebrate agreeing to be wheeled into surgery despite a healthy dose of fear of both complications and the unknown. I had no idea how I'd cope in life without the crutch of food and failure. I wasn't excited about surgery and possibilities. I was simply scared and resolved. Now, I live a life I truly wasn't sure I'd ever get to enjoy. Life is good. So good.
I have been incredibly blessed on this journey. My approval process was relatively painless. It only involved four months of supervised diet. I didn't even have to do a liquid diet leading up to surgery. My only real complication was a very minor infection on one of my incisions. A round of antibiotics and I was fine.
My biggest memories of life following surgery were trying to figure out how to live without food as a focus and exhaustion. I wasn't hungry but still felt a need to eat but couldn't. I worked hard in therapy to be ready for this yet I wasn't. On top of that, I remember being absolutely exhausted until week 5. My other biggest memory is when I lost about 50 lbs. and realized that I no longer hurt. I had been overweight so long that I simply accepted pain as a part of life. To wake up one day and comprehend than general life no longer hurt left me giddy.
Since surgery, I have dropped 112 pounds, 12 inches (literally a foot!) off my waist, and 6 dress sizes (from 24/26 to 12/14). I have found a passion for running that culminated in running a half-marathon in January. I found the confidence to apply for a dream job that came with a crazy raise and got the job! I've found pride in myself and my appearance. I've become more than what I eat and how I look.
I haven't been the most well-behaved sleever. I feel I should share that in the interest of honesty. When I got the crazy, awesome promotion I started making some poor choices. I have yet to gain weight but I am in the world's longest stall due to poor food choices and a lack of focus on diet. I haven't lost a pound since December. I recognize that I haven't lost the last thirty pounds because of my less than ideal food choices but I am okay with this for now. I know that I will soon be ready to lose the last thirty and I will focus and finish what I started. My goal is to be at or under 175 by 18 months. I feel this is very doable. However, I recognize that this is my journey and I will finish it when it is right for me. Right now, I am enjoying the ride and life in general.
I would like to take a moment to thank all of you for your constant support, opinions and advice. I've found this forum and the people it consists of a lifeline on more than one occasion. Bless you all!
Of course, a surgiversary post isn't complete without photos!
PS- I swear I am not a big drinker... it just happens that pics normally occur when I'm drinking.