I have lost 30 lbs on my own. Have another 110 lbs to go. Need to know if any one else had these feeling before their surgery.

It's not the losing that's hard. It's the keeping it off.

Studies show that' date=' without surgical intervention (ie, the sleeve), only about 5% of people who lose weight through dieting and exercising alone are able to keep it off for more than a year. So, if you're confident that you'll be one of the 1 in 20 who manages to switch to a lifetime of dedication* to diet and exercise, good for you -- you should skip the sleeve! But if you're like the remaining 95% of us, who would have struggled and yo-yo'ed with weight, shaming ourselves and harming our bodies until we likely died early of an obesity-related condition, I suggest you reconsider. The sleeve is not trivial, but it's still a very, very good weight loss surgery.

*Because it DOES take a lifetime. You can't just do it until you lose the weight, and then stop. You can't ever take your foot off the accelerator. Every single moment of every single day, for the rest of your life, you will have to focus on diet and exercise. And let's be honest, if you're in a situation where you're heavy enough to consider WLS, you haven't had much success with that in the past. That's not intended to be an insult -- I was in exactly the same boat, as were almost all of the people here. It's just basic facts; if you really, truly, honestly believe that you'll win the lottery, and magically change your entire personality and eating habits and keep the changes for the rest of your life, then you should absolutely skip the surgery. But as someone in the community you asked for advice, I have to tell you the same thing I tell everyone; while it's fun to fantasize about what would you do if you won the weight loss lottery, I wouldn't cash in your 401k (so to speak) just yet.[/quote']

Thank you for your straight talk. I know the reality...my mind is just playing games with me. I think those closest to me are really scared for me and their feelings are messing with my head.

Between 2007-2008 I lost 105 lbs, I went from 350lbs to 245lbs. Fast forward to July 2011 and I was 380 lbs. The doctor wanted me to go down 30 lbs before he would do surgery. From July 2011- January 2012 I managed to go down 80 lbs; and it never crossed my mind to cancel the surgery, because I know my history, I know I can lose the weigh, but I can never keep it off. The 2007-2008 episode was not the first incident were I lose and gain it, and every time it happens I gain more and more than what I started with.

I know how you feel. I have 140 lbs to lose also, only 10 down so far on my own. I know I can lose more on my own. Last time I started dieting I lost 55lbs but still had at least 60 more to lose. I got off the ban wagon after getting pg with twins. I gained all back plus 15lbs more. I have played with all those same feelings you are having. I just started my journey of going to see the nutritionist and wil hopefully have the surgery may/June. I ask myself.....

Can I do this on my own? Never have before

Can I keep the weight off? Couldn't even keep off less then half when I lose it.

Do I trust myself with food? Right now NO

These answers make me realize I can't do it on my own and i never had. I want to be heathly for my kids. not sure if this is helpful but know your not alone with second guessing yourself. I know I'm not alone after reading your post.

Thank you everyone. You're really helping me through a very difficult time. Don't be surprised if I reach out another 14 times before my surgery (lol)

It's important to remember that every surgery carries risks, and this surgery is no exception. However, as far as I can tell, in the array of WLS available, sleeve is one of the safest. I know, that seems weird; they're cutting your stomach in half! But remember that scar tissue and a reduced stomach size is something your body can deal with; it's a "natural" result of -- say -- an injury. On the other hand, cutting off your digestive tract and rerouting it around your stomach (gastric bypass) or implanting an artificial item in your body (lap band) are NOT things that your body has natural healing mechanisms to deal with, and these two surgeries (which are, IIRC, the most popular alternatives to the sleeve) seem very likely to cause lifelong complications. With the sleeve, once you're past the first three months (to be conservative; for most, it's past the first month) you're pretty much out of the woods. There are exceptions and horror stories, of course, but again -- those exist with EVERY surgery.

If you have a good, competent doctor and supporting team (how many people know that one of the most important members of your surgical team is your anesthesiologist? And yet, nobody ever thinks to check up on THEM...), and if you follow the doctor's pre- and post-op advice to the letter, your chances of successful recovery (IE, no complications) are in the 95%+ range. And your chances of losing a TON of weight and keeping it off are extremely high (I don't remember; it's something like 75% or more... probably higher but those statistics are always conservative).

When you compare those (very good) numbers against the (very bad) numbers for weight loss "the old fashioned way" (diet and exercise), and when you remember that unlike the surgery, obesity will almost certainly kill you (not to mention making your quality of life horrible in the meantime), well... you have to make up your own mind, but when I did the math, it was far more dangerous NOT to get the surgery.

It's still a scary prospect -- any major surgery is. But you have to be realistic about the outcomes, and the realistic outcome from sleeve surgery is, frankly, very, very positive.

I know how you feel. I have 140 lbs to lose also' date=' only 10 down so far on my own. I know I can lose more on my own. Last time I started dieting I lost 55lbs but still had at least 60 more to lose. I got off the ban wagon after getting pg with twins. I gained all back plus 15lbs more. I have played with all those same feelings you are having. I just started my journey of going to see the nutritionist and wil hopefully have the surgery may/June. I ask myself.....

Can I do this on my own? Never have before

Can I keep the weight off? Couldn't even keep off less then half when I lose it.

Do I trust myself with food? Right now NO

These answers make me realize I can't do it on my own and i never had. I want to be heathly for my kids. not sure if this is helpful but know your not alone with second guessing yourself. I know I'm not alone after reading your post.

[/quote']

Thank you for sharing.

We all have had concerned relatives and friends that something might happen in surgery like complications or just us getting thinner and then there would be a change in relationships because we feel better about ourselves and are actually happier. I had to come to my own terms on whether or not to do the surgery. Intuitively I knew that I needed this surgery to improve my over all life style and health. I had just been diagnosed as diabetic. I had watched my dad and brother in-law struggle with this disease and was fearful for my life. I had no energy, I got tired all the time, I also had IBS which was totally a pain in the a....... My daughter would constantly tell me I didn't need this surgery. She wasn't living in my body, I was. I didn't feel good about myself, couldn't shop in regular stores and I looked like the Goodyear blimp!

This is the best decision I've ever made for myself. I'd do it over in a heart beat! I would stop stressing on others because we are all totally different. Hand in and I honor any decision you come too. Let us know how your doing.

I have lost 30 lbs on my own. Have another 110 lbs to go. Need to know if any one else had these feeling before their surgery.

hi, all the above answers were pertinent to the subject. I also lost those 30lbs you mentioned. Actually i think you "transrerred" those 30 lbs. to me. I can lose the weight too, but then regain and regain and even regain. But I never weighed more than a certain amount 250, it was strange, i never would get past this number. All of a sudden i again reached this #, and couldn't stop,. Weight kept going up. I knew i was in trouble - i was 52 and the weight loss on my own, just wasn't happening. I kept gaining.

I now had diabetes, high blood pressure, sleep apnea - no good. Thats when i decided i must do the WLS for me my health - and as commonly said (but true) i wanted to play w/my little grand-kids.

It takes me a long time to say what i'm getting at: but if you need to lose the weight, and you can continue to keep the weight off by yourself, for good, terrific. but if you are like most of us on the board. you need help to maintain the weight.

The surgery is for all that need help to keep the weight off to live healthy. Me example

Hope you make the right decision for yourself. stay well

kathy

We all have had concerned relatives and friends that something might happen in surgery like complications or just us getting thinner and then there would be a change in relationships because we feel better about ourselves and are actually happier. I had to come to my own terms on whether or not to do the surgery. Intuitively I knew that I needed this surgery to improve my over all life style and health. I had just been diagnosed as diabetic. I had watched my dad and brother in-law struggle with this disease and was fearful for my life. I had no energy' date=' I got tired all the time, I also had IBS which was totally a pain in the a....... My daughter would constantly tell me I didn't need this surgery. She wasn't living in my body, I was. I didn't feel good about myself, couldn't shop in regular stores and I looked like the Goodyear blimp!

This is the best decision I've ever made for myself. I'd do it over in a heart beat! I would stop stressing on others because we are all totally different. Hand in and I honor any decision you come too. Let us know how your doing. <img src='http://www.bariatricpal.com/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/wink.png' class='bbc_emoticon' alt='' />[/quote']

THANK YOU soooo much for your input. I'm so glad to have a place to talk to others who are/have been in my shoes.

It's important to remember that every surgery carries risks' date=' and this surgery is no exception. However, as far as I can tell, in the array of WLS available, sleeve is one of the safest. I know, that seems weird; they're cutting your stomach in half! But remember that scar tissue and a reduced stomach size is something your body can deal with; it's a "natural" result of -- say -- an injury. On the other hand, cutting off your digestive tract and rerouting it around your stomach (gastric bypass) or implanting an artificial item in your body (lap band) are NOT things that your body has natural healing mechanisms to deal with, and these two surgeries (which are, IIRC, the most popular alternatives to the sleeve) seem very likely to cause lifelong complications. With the sleeve, once you're past the first three months (to be conservative; for most, it's past the first month) you're pretty much out of the woods. There are exceptions and horror stories, of course, but again -- those exist with EVERY surgery.

If you have a good, competent doctor and supporting team (how many people know that one of the most important members of your surgical team is your anesthesiologist? And yet, nobody ever thinks to check up on THEM...), and if you follow the doctor's pre- and post-op advice to the letter, your chances of successful recovery (IE, no complications) are in the 95%+ range. And your chances of losing a TON of weight and keeping it off are extremely high (I don't remember; it's something like 75% or more... probably higher but those statistics are always conservative).

When you compare those (very good) numbers against the (very bad) numbers for weight loss "the old fashioned way" (diet and exercise), and when you remember that unlike the surgery, obesity will almost certainly kill you (not to mention making your quality of life horrible in the meantime), well... you have to make up your own mind, but when I did the math, it was far more dangerous NOT to get the surgery.

It's still a scary prospect -- any major surgery is. But you have to be realistic about the outcomes, and the realistic outcome from sleeve surgery is, frankly, very, very positive.[/quote']

I know what I have to do. It's just the emotions and fear that has me questioning. I have a wonderfully supportive husband who is trying hard not to tell me how he feels about my having the surgery. I can tell that he is scared so I'm trying to stay positive for both of us which is getting harder and harder as my surgery date comes up.

My weight loss from 1/2011 to about 9/11 ot early 10/11 was what made me realize I needed to go ahead and get the surgery. I had gone from 279 to about 240. maybe lower, but I could feel the momentum ebbing - it is just such an emotional and physical drain to be constantly hungry & that was with me consuming about 1400-1500 calories a day.

I know what I have to do. It's just the emotions and fear that has me questioning. I have a wonderfully supportive husband who is trying hard not to tell me how he feels about my having the surgery. I can tell that he is scared so I'm trying to stay positive for both of us which is getting harder and harder as my surgery date comes up.

To switch off my "wannabe doctor" mode for a moment and put on my "regular human being" mode -- I felt a LOT of the exact same emotions as you, leading up to the surgery. In fact, even AFTER the surgery for about a month, I had lots of "oh my god, what have I done to myself!" moments.

But that passed quickly and the weight just started falling off effortlessly. And this time, it's STAYED off. And if you had to ask me what my biggest regret about the sleeve is, I'm sure lots of people here would have the same answer: my biggest regret is that I didn't get this surgery a long time ago!

Prior to my surgery, I went on Atkins. This was my first time doing low carb, and to my utter amazement, I dropped 34 pounds in 2 1/2 months. I went on Atkins because I was terrified of having surgery at such a high, unhealthy weght. Once I lost that weight, I went into a tailspin, questioning whether or not I really needed to do the surgery. Finally, this is what I realized.... All the diets--starting at age 12--all the angst, all the starting over, all the self-talk, all the weight watcher's meetings, all the fasts, all the nutrisystem, all the exercise, all the pounds lost over the years--had gotten me to a weight of 367 pounds, destroyed joints, and diabetes. Nothing--NOT ONE THING--in my past existed as evidence that I could do it without surgery and succeed. So I went ahead with it. Will I always wonder if maybe I had finally found the thing that worked? Maybe. But I certainly won't lose any sleep over it. I've lost 36 pounds since I began liquids on Jan 10th. It would have taken me months to do that. I'm ready to get on with my life, not take years and years to lose this weight. Only you can know if dieting will work, but don't tell yourself lies about how this time will be different. Good luck to you, sweetie... I know how torturous this decision is.

I won't repeat all the great advice everyone has already given, it all resonates. But I will chime in as another person who questioned for months whether I needed to do the surgery after losing 20-30 pounds here and there. As a consultant, I often go through periods between jobs where I'd get on a health kick, diet, work out, and lose weight. Then as soon as I started working again with a long commute, the weight would come back on with a little extra. It got really old and made me feel helpless. With this surgery I will always have a way of policing how much I eat. Granted, I can still fill it with smaller amounts of junk food if I so choose. But the first 1-2 months after surgery helps you practice with good habits and healthy foods. Once you go through it, it seems pointless to ruin all that hard work with bad choices.

I know what I have to do. It's just the emotions and fear that has me questioning. I have a wonderfully supportive husband who is trying hard not to tell me how he feels about my having the surgery. I can tell that he is scared so I'm trying to stay positive for both of us which is getting harder and harder as my surgery date comes up.

My husband didn't say much about it before my surgery. I was actually wondering if he understood the magnitude of this procedure. So, I asked him outright what he felt about me doing this. He said he was frightened but knew what I was doing was what I needed to be happy, but he loved me the way I was.

He never did express any negative comments about the surgery, and when I about lost it in pre-op, he let the nurse know how upset I was (she gave me valium). At that time he could have just taken me home (I wanted to escape) with no complaints from me, but he knew that was just nerves causing that fit and so he got me through it.

I think it is completely normal and sane to second guess yourself for a procedure such as this, especially since so many of us get uplifted by losing weight in preparation for the surgery! But, how many times have we lost the same 30 pounds (or more)?