Do People Treat You Different After Gastric Sleeve Surgery?

[BenisaMartim4 369]

I have been pondering the fat friend thing in my mind for several weeks now. I am truly afraid that I have a couple of friends that will kind of drop off of the radar after my weight loss. We are all currently very large; but when I no longer am, I believe they will feel insecure around me because it will make it even more noticeable how much weight that we have gained over the years. I know they love me, but insecurity and perceived threats can do strange things to people.

[rhondarina 13]

I'm haven't had VSG yet but I have had periods where I weighed less. In 2008, I lost about 70lbs, so I was around 260. Even then I noticed people started treating me different. Then I gained it all back. over the next couple of years. I definitely notice that people are shorter with you, don't pay attention to what you say, I am more invisbile, people don't smile as much etc. I think self confidence plays a role but is not the only factor. I wasn't particularly self confident at 260 but I still felt the difference. I imagine when I get to a normal weight I will really notice a difference.

[favoredone 590]

I can't answer that question yet... but, I'm excited!! I have a BIG personality... I don't meet strangers!! I wonder how my very active social life will change... more details soon....

[BenisaMartim4 369]

I'm haven't had VSG yet but I have had periods where I weighed less. In 2008, I lost about 70lbs, so I was around 260. Even then I noticed people started treating me different. Then I gained it all back. over the next couple of years. I definitely notice that people are shorter with you, don't pay attention to what you say, I am more invisbile, people don't smile as much etc. I think self confidence plays a role but is not the only factor. I wasn't particularly self confident at 260 but I still felt the difference. I imagine when I get to a normal weight I will really notice a difference.

I haven't had my VSG yet either, but I can relate to this. Women tell me that I look nice often now (316); but after my last baby I was at 267, a 68 lb loss, and men even commented. It felt very strange to have people that I have known for years whistle and cat call at me across a parking lot. It did help my self-confidence though. After four babies, a little whistle never hurts.

[cutie pie 71]

Ha HA ...I LOVE IT CATCH FAT OR SOMETHING ... TOO FUNNY LADY ... HA HA !!!!

Yes people treat me differently. I have" friends" who have fallen off the map, and I have never heard from again. Apparently I was being used just to be the fat friend.

One situation in particular really showed me how different people are around me now, even complete strangers. I was waiting to have lab work done. It was pretty empty, seats all around were empty, but people actually came and sat right next to me. It's happened at the doctors, the pharmacy, so many different places. And ya know, it bugs me. I was invisible when I was fat and it wasn't just because I made myself invisible, it feels as if people were scared they could catch the fat or something. *sigh*

Things changed with my husband too. He has become protective over me which he was not before. He is more affectionate. And again this bugs the snot out of me. I know he is a man, and men tend to be visual creatures but really it's hard to take in.

Now it's at the point that I have to adjust to the differences and I have to work on myself to not be angry with the differences I see from other people. I will tell you this much, after seeing first hand how different society treats obese people I will go out of my way to make an overweight person feel welcome and loved because I know how bad it hurts.

[lsereno 2,525]

I'm 11 1/2 small pounds from goal and I know people treat me differently. I have always been well groomed, with a stylish do and makeup. My pic still shows me at close to my heaviest weight ever: 254. As you can see from my happy grin and hoisted drink, I knew how to have fun, play up my good points, and put on a winning smile.

A few people comment on my weight every time they see me and ask what I weigh; once I weigh less than them, a look of distress crosses their face. I finally told one friend, don't worry I'll never weigh less than you (She's 4'11" and weighs 125.) One former friend avoids me now (we were supposed to have the surgery around the same time but she backed out of the program).

Strangers are nicer to me and notice me more.

My medical plan finally treated my joint issue (turns out I have rheumatoid arthritis). I think they could see the swollen joints more after I lost weight. I had been complaining for a couple of years, and joint problems are one of the reasons I wanted to lose weight.

I don't think these people are evil haters. Bias for most people is something they are not even aware of.

I was thin when I was younger and I thought the changes in other's attitudes were more about aging, but I see that it not true now.

I am thankful I am older now, though: there is far less skanky male attention at 55 than in my teens, twenties, and thirties.

Lynda

[sleeve 4 me 910]

I showed this post to my hubby and was going to answer that my hubby has always loved me and found me attractive and sexy, and never made me feel bad about being fat, but he does seem more affectionate more than ever...He said that's not true, in fact you are the one that has changed! Say what??? I didn't realize it until he said that.

He said that I'm happier now and more confident, and secure, now that I'm thin. He said he remembers several times where I would complain about not finding something to wear to a wedding or party and be miserable. That is true. So I guess because I've changed it seems I can be free to enjoy my hubby's love and affection in a deeper way without all the hangups that come with being insecure with myself. I believe it now...interesting.

[BettyBoop 28]

I'm 11 1/2 small pounds from goal and I know people treat me differently. I have always been well groomed, with a stylish do and makeup. My pic still shows me at close to my heaviest weight ever: 254. As you can see from my happy grin and hoisted drink, I knew how to have fun, play up my good points, and put on a winning smile.

A few people comment on my weight every time they see me and ask what I weigh; once I weigh less than them, a look of distress crosses their face. I finally told one friend, don't worry I'll never weigh less than you (She's 4'11" and weighs 125.) One former friend avoids me now (we were supposed to have the surgery around the same time but she backed out of the program).

Strangers are nicer to me and notice me more.

My medical plan finally treated my joint issue (turns out I have rheumatoid arthritis). I think they could see the swollen joints more after I lost weight. I had been complaining for a couple of years, and joint problems are one of the reasons I wanted to lose weight.

I don't think these people are evil haters. Bias for most people is something they are not even aware of.

I was thin when I was younger and I thought the changes in other's attitudes were more about aging, but I see that it not true now.

I am thankful I am older now, though: there is far less skanky male attention at 55 than in my teens, twenties, and thirties.

Lynda

I'm not there yet. I'm just 6 weeks out.

But years back when I lost a lot of weight I noticed men treated me differently. And it annoyed the hell out of me! Before they couldn't be bothered. Then they were panting over me.

Anyway, I too have RA Lynda. And it is one of the main reason's why I decided I better go with WLS. If I didn't, I don't think I would last much longer having RA and being so overweight.

Do you feel a difference in your RA Lynda???

[LoserMama 37]

After four babies, a little whistle never hurts.

LMAO --amen to that I can't quite imagine that, though. I didn't feel "pretty" when at a normal weight, so I don't think I'm going to get a lot of attention even if at a normal weight.

[feedyoureye 3,087]

LMAO --amen to that I can't quite imagine that, though. I didn't feel "pretty" when at a normal weight, so I don't think I'm going to get a lot of attention even if at a normal weight.

Your VERY pretty! Im sure you will be a knockout when your at goal! Get ready to love how you look... you deserve it!

[Lakelady 2]

The biggest change is in me. I've become friends with a skinny woman who I would have felt fat around before. She woulda been friends with me fat but now I can stand to be around her-you know? My personality isn't actually different, I just feel much more comfortable in social situations and I think that translates into being "treated differently." My best eating friend was mad at first for not over-eating socially but she's happy for me and got over it.

[MegInNOLA 531]

I live in the deep south--men have always opened doors, even for my 6'2" self (which always makes me smile). But wow, does that happen much more now! I have never felt or heard anything that is not supportive; other members of my family have had WLS, and my family and friends were happy I made a change. My students say nice things and compliment my outfits, etc. My friends are still my friends and seem genuinely happy for me--they gently tease me, but it's always nice stuff without any bitter undertone--and we still hang out and do the things we used to do.

All in all, I feel blessed and very fortunate!

[Lakelady 2]

The biggest change is in me. I've become friends with a skinny woman who I would have felt fat around before. She woulda been friends with me fat but now I can stand to be around her-you know? My personality isn't actually different, I just feel much more comfortable in social situations and I think that translates into being "treated differently." My best eating friend was mad at first for not over-eating socially but she's happy for me and got over it.

[lsereno 2,525]

I'm not there yet. I'm just 6 weeks out. But years back when I lost a lot of weight I noticed men treated me differently. And it annoyed the hell out of me! Before they couldn't be bothered. Then they were panting over me. Anyway, I too have RA Lynda. And it is one of the main reason's why I decided I better go with WLS. If I didn't, I don't think I would last much longer having RA and being so overweight. Do you feel a difference in your RA Lynda???

I didn't in most joints. My feet, ankles, and knees are better though. The Dr. did tell me being overweight is known to cause inflammation and losing weight is supposed to help RA.

Lynda

[BlackBerryJuice 349]

People totally treat you differently when you are not obese! I honestly can't recall the last time someone was rude or mean to me since I've lost weight. When I was obese, it happened more often than I care to remember.