I am doing a poll because I am trying to find a marriage that has not had some sort of cheating involved either from one spouse or another. I need your feedback guys. From the smallest indiscretion to the horrible, please tell me there is a relationship out there that had neither party cheating!! PLEASE!! Only sane people please reply.

I have been married for 7 years, and we have been faithful even when we were going through challenges, which 99% of all marriages have.

Me no cheatee. As for my wife.......I would honestly be stunned to find out she cheated. We're just committed to monogamy (married 12 years this July).

My first husband was a 'roamer' ... cheated from the day we got married. I never cheated, unless you count dating other people when we filed for divorce.

Hell, I couldn't even cheat on a boyfriend I was breaking up with until we broke up, damned parents instilling morals and crap in me, damn them... ROFL

Current hubby and I are in a awesome relationship. Neither of us have cheated and I doubt it would ever happen, we talk to each other about issues we might have.

My husband of 10-years & I met in Jr. High, started dating in high school when I was 16 & became the best of friends, “broke up” to attend separate colleges free to date other people – and did (my idea - I mean, long distant relationships don’t work, right, so why harm our friendship in the process?), got “back together” 2 years later despite being in separate states because “denying love” seemed ridiculous, became engaged once finally living in the same state again 2 years after that, and were married the following year when we both were 23. We were blessed with our 1st child at 28 and our 2nd arrived 2-1/2 years later. After more than 9 years of monogamous, faithful marriage (nearly 19 years of knowing each other) and two children (aged 22-months & 4-years at the time), when I was four months post-op from my Band, my husband began cheating for the 1st time with a “getting separated” co-worker in a different department. I’m told it started as a one-time “just sex” thing, but rapidly evolved (about a week later!) to declarations of love from them both. My “forcing a confession” came 6-weeks into it, though I knew something was wrong much earlier than I could prove it.

Now we’re separated, but have been in marriage therapy for 7 months. Though he officially ended things with her a while ago, the other woman is very much still after my husband months later -- coming by the office (2-weeks into the adultery, she was fired for an unrelated thing), following him if she sees his car out, calling the office, e-mailing his work address, has sent postal letters to him at work - and even me at home! And while DH doesn’t initiate any of the contact, he also doesn’t run from it when she makes contact. He is still telling me he wants to come home, to try making it work for our family… But now that, at 33, he’s become a cheater, my DH is “afraid” that he won’t always be able to resist temptation in the future & says he doesn't want to risk further hurting me & the kiddies. And future temptation is guaranteed because it’s consistently only a matter of weeks between her calls/e-mails/visits. (Never mind any temptation that might come from other sources down the line!)

I’m still in shock , struggling with feeling of anger :puke: & betrayal , and working at finding within myself forgiveness toward him -- for MY sake. I don’t know what the future holds, but I have my two children & my own heart to consider as I face it…

Both of us would have sworn that neither would ever, ever, ever cheat… But things can change, apparently.

My husband cheated on me once. We had been married for 6 years and he was playing with a new band (he's a guitarist), who had this whole other world that I was not invited into.

Anyway, he started acting different and distant. (talking on the cell phone outside, bought mouthwash) Alot of things I should have picked up on. I never went to gigs b/c that band never made an effort with me (despite my efforts).

What raised a red flag for me was I went out of town and when I came home, it looked like he had not been here at all. (fridge was still full after a week). So I started snooping. I found an odd phone # in his cell phone that was only initials, no name. I found a receipt for a resturant that had 2 beers, 2 martinis and an order of crab cakes on it.

I confronted him b/c he was so f'ing guilty at this time he could not even look at me anymore and I could not take it. He said he was just talking to this person, (of course she was a friend of the band's) ~ had been to her house and they liked each others company. I made him call her in front of me and tell her he was ending the 'friendship' b/c it was not appropiate and is disrespectful to his wife.

It was a very very hard few months. I cried at the drop of a hat, I had nightmares and it was so hard not to go after that girl -I knew who she was- I did not tell many people, I was so embarrassed. (but I did ask my brother to beat him up haha). We also went to counceling for a long time, and I made myself go to his gigs, and sat pretty much by myself.

It hurt for a long time.

So, 6 more years later - 2 kids (born after the cheating). I have been suffering with severe rhumetoid arthritis and for the last 5 (lost my job and income, almost lost the house and cars, 4 surgeries) and he has stuck by my side and I don't know where I would be without him. When we needed more money, he went and got a 2nd job. When I could not get up with the babies b/c of my RA, he did it and then got up for work at 5am. He does all the things I should be doing but can't, and he never complains.

Now, I am facing this surgery on April 30th and he totally supports me when others don't. The other day I was getting dressed and asked him not to look at me - I am so fat and gross. He said "let me be the judge of what I like to look at".

We have been through many ups and downs the last 12 years and each thing I really believe has made us re-focus our commitment to each other.

The band broke up a year later and the main group of them screwed my DH out of $ and recording rights. I swear all along I was saying there is something I don't like about those people - they were like a school cliq-and sneaky too. The Ho he was cheating with? she was friends of theirs and as far as I know has fallen off the face of the earth. goodbye HO!

p.s. I NEVER asked him if he slept with her. It's just something I don't want to know.

Neither of us has ever cheated, we have been married 23years, inseparable for 25. We both have very strong moral values. Neither of us would ever do that to each other nor to our children. People who cheat without a care about what they do to their children just blow me away. They think they only hurt their spouse, their children will NEVER get over it. IT CHANGES WHO THEY ARE !!! I can't relate to the life is all about my happiness attitute.

I was banded August 07 and lost 85 pounds. I went from wearing a size 44-46 pants to a 36-38 and from 2x and 3x shirts to M and L.

My DW and I have been married for 13 years this December and she too has been banded and has lost more wieght than I have. We have both slowly turned into people that we both thought we would never imagine ourselves being. She looks for attention everywhere she can get it and flirts with every man thats near seeking more. She goes out with her girlfriends on all night drinking sessions and leaves me home with the kids. (her excuse is she needs to blow off steam). I have been feeling left behind and lonely. Although she tells me it is my own self concusioness because she is commited to US. Her myspace is cluttered with DRUNKen pics and wild nights out. All backed by her friends and their support of YOU NEED ME TIME!

So needless to say I began chatting (ONLINE ONLY) to a woman I used to work with through an email address that my DW had no idea I even had. And although we never physically (HOOKED UP, had sex) our conversations were inapporpirate at times and were sexual in nature at times. And to make a longe story short my DW found the email address and now I have slept with evey woman from every state between TN and FL.

The DW believes this is all my fault and does not want to take responsibility for her actions. I agree that what I did was wrong and I am commiting myself to try and keep us together by going to therapy and consuling.

To sum this all up I just wonder sometimes if this would have ever happened without the weight loss. Maybe the saying of being fat and happy is true. But I sometimes regret ever being banded!!

thanks everyone for listening to me rant!:thumbup:

My first husband cheated and my second husband has cheated. I am NOT a cheater, would never even consider it (those damn parental morals and stuff for me too Pix!).

To me, cheating is any behavior you do involving a person of the opposite sex (if you're straight of course) when your partner isn't around that you can't do when they are. Dh plays in a band, so spends lots of weekends out of town without me in bars where women will readily throw themselves at the feet of whatever band is there for the weekend. This posed a SERIOUS problem for us until about a year and a half ago (we have been married for 9 years). I was having stroke-like symptoms and was admitted to the hospital for 3 days having tests until they figured out what was causing it. During that time, when he realized how easily it could all be over and he would never have another chance, he straightened up. I have had no reason to suspect him of anything since that time, but still keep a close eye on him and probably always will.

Dealing with the anger and hurt from all of that has been a BIG part of the head work I have had to do in preparation for surgery. I never realized how much I internalized all of those feelings and everything I had never dealt with!

We will be married 36 years in September and are still very much in love. Neither of us have cheated, nor would we. It would be cruel, disrespectful and dishonest. We always felt that honesty was best and we believe marriage is for life...that you must work at it to be successful. And, I would marry him all over again!

neither one of us ever cheated. we've

we've been married for 19 years.

I have been married 17 years and we have never cheated. Marriage is hard work and we made a commitment to each other. My advice is never call each other bad names.. never talk badly about your spouse.. these two items i believe cause alot of divorces. You think and say positive and you think and feel positive. This is what has made our marriage so successful.. we act like newlyweds because we not only love each other we really really like each other.

Hi .....Here's a guys perspective ....- I'm 23+ years married. Never cheated nor has my beautiful wife... I fantasize, but who doesn't... We have strong family values... 2 great kids, and we believe in unconditional love and forgiveness.

Almost in the same situation as Ganuple, but neither of our spouses know. The problem now is we were doing it just for sex, but we have fallen in love and want to move forward together.

I have been married to my high school sweetheart for 27 years, we have been together since we were 15 years old. He was active duty army for 20 years so our life was filled with deployments and seperation but neither of us ever strayed. We just have always had so much love and respect for each other and both came from divorced homes that we swore we would never put our children through that. He is my best friend and truly my life partner. Our kids (twin 24 yr old girls and a 21 yr old boy) love telling their friends our love story. My only wish would be for them to have the same.