Unreasonable fears/disaster about living with VSG surgery

[gettingpissed 0]

I keep having the same thoughts and conflicts about this surgery. I keep thinking that "I could give diet and exercise another try, really hard effort this time" or believe what others say that I'm "not that big" (I carry all my weight around my belly) even that this surgery is "quiting" or something.

I also worry that I'll get to thin to soon and end up looking sickly or starved, something. I worry about execess skin and not being able to do anything about it since paying for this surgery is really going to tap out my resources. I worry that I'll never be able to get enough protein/nutrience when I go camping/hunting/ just out in the middle of nowhere. I worry about dehydration since my work you really work up a sweat and are pretty active regularly.

I start to think things like my surgeon is only approving me so he can make money on this surgery, despite having been told by several doctors that this surgery could save my life, eventhough I'm 100lbs overweight,type 2 diabetes, almost no cartalige in my knees, degenerative disk in my back, high cholesterol, I almost refuse to go out into public because of body image issues.

I bounce back and forth about my age and just not having time to mess with another diet plan that wont work.....I blame my therapist for this because she puts these seeds of doubt in my head.

Is there anybody else who has ever felt this way?

[CowgirlJane 14,259]

I have had more then a seed of doubt... a whole garden.

I am frankly not worried about getting too thin. I have met enough people who have had this procedure, they range from trim to normal range, slightly overweight - not a one is too skinny. I figure excess skin is no worse then all this extra fat so I view that as damage I have already done by getting so fat, losing the weight doesn't cause the ugly skin, getting obese caused it. I am not saying that saggy skin is great, I am just saying it is already there, just disguised by all that unhealthy fat puffing it out.

What I have thought about is that feeling like I should able to do this without having part of my stomache removed! I mean, for Pete's sake, that is drastic. I have thought about some of the complications that are possible. What I if i have to miss a whole bunch of work due to a leak or something like that? I have also thought about, what if I only lose "some" of the extra weight and I am still fat? Or maybe worse yet, what if I get to a healthy weight and then can't control myself and regain it??? Those things worried me, but I am moving past it.

First, I got rid of the counselor I saw who was anti Weight Loss Surgery. She has never been an ounce overweight her whole life and i have been battling this crap since I was like 4 years old. I am 47!!! I think 40+ years of trying diets and stuff is enough to prove that I can't make that work permanently, don't you?

Second, I started to really understand obesity as a medical condition, as a metabolic disorder. I am not saying there isn't an emotional, and behaviour component - there is - but at this point, it is a metabolic disorder!!! I had to hear this from 2 different doctors before I started to accept that maybe I need help here, not just a new cookbook. My primary care doc suggest a cookbook, because clearly, if I knew how to use a crockpot I would lose 140 pounds. yeah, right Guess what, I switched primary care doctors too!

Third, I started sharing my struggles, my decision process with people in my life who care about me. These are not obese people, they are thin active people. (I am a horse lover, so i have horse loving friends who tend to be trim and athletic). Their support has been amazing. They WANT me to be healthy, live a long life, be active, and to be happy. I think it is obvious to the people that care about me, diets haven't worked for me and aren't likely to work next time either. I am blessed to have people in my life who are excited for my future after WLS, it is almost like they have more faith then I do, which can bolster me!

Finally, I had my failed gastric band removed. You think you feel skeptical and worried before your first weight loss surgery? Try going through the heartbreak of a failure. I felt like such a failure, just like all those diets. Reality is that the crapband failed me. That is the story for another day, but letting go of that both physically and mentally has made this so clear to me. I have been starving and wanting to eat 24/7 now that the band is out - which is further proof that there is a PHYSICAL component to this struggle.

Don't get me wrong, I accept responsibility for putting the food in my own mouth, but I am now understanding that this is such a complicated situation. Once you are morbidly obese it is so very hard to keep weight off without surgery. Seriously, the stats prove that.

The doc I see for my sleep apnea is my hero - the guy that started me on this journey more then a year ago. I had never heard of the sleeve and he was the one that told me it would extend my life. His frankness, done in a very caring way, really was a wake up call. I am on the road to early death, early disability - and that is just about guanteed unless I get the weight off. Yes, the surgery has risks, yes, it is drastic, but weigh the two paths and ask yourself what is the most likely outcome 5. 10, 15+ years from now. Without the surgery, disable and early death is a high probability. With the surgery, I have a shot of being an active senior, enjoying life, enjoying my horses, really living.

I think your doubts are normal and healthy. Educate yourself, go to a surgery support group and meet some people to find out the real story. Talk to people. If you don't quite trust your surgeon, how about consulting with another? I tell people, I am in this for a lifetime, so I am okay that the process has been slow for me to finally get to a firm decision set in my own mind.

I am scheduled for a December surgery. Yes, i am a little nervous still, but mostly, I want it DONE so I can start down the path to the rest of my life as a healthier, thinner person who can keep doing fun stuff for many more years.

[Thomas CPA 496]

Before getting the surgery you should see a therapist or psychologist and work these things out.

As for loose skin - ask yourself now, do you cover up when going out? do you go to beach in small bathing suit? If no then why worry you will still cover up with the loose skin.

As for to thin - you control that by maintaining calorie level.

[mb20mom 9]

I'm almost 2 years out now, and most days I don't even remember that I had the sleeve. Life is normal. I wish I did this 20 years ago. Don't let your fears prevent you from making the best decision you will ever make by getting this surgery. It will change your life. I've not met anyone that regrets it. Good luck on your journey.

[courtines 6]

I don't think that anyone goes into this without some fears or doubts. I was scared and had doubts up until the minute they put me on the operating table. When I woke up, I was groggy enough to think that I could still change my mind! One of my biggest ones was that I would be the only person on the planet that it didn't work for. The decision to have surgery isn't really the big question. It is about the decision to make a MAJOR life change for the rest of your life.

[Tiffykins 672]

What's scarier; surgery, improved health, a little excess skin, OR ending up in a pine box 10 years earlier?

That's all the rationalization I needed to make me get over all the little things that had me "worried".

I'll gladly take my wrinkly, excess, flabbiness over back fat rolls and thighs that rub together all the time.

Every one of your concerns about food intake/water/dehydration are all very temporary in the grand scheme of events. At over 2 years out, I guzzle Water, I eat normal bites, don't chew things to mush, and have had zero issues supporting my body and another developing human in my body through this pregnancy. I have zero issue consuming 1700-1800 calories a day. And, if I really want to do so, I can easily hit 2000 calories by eating more mushy/sliderish foods. Most days, I forget I only have 15% of the normal sized stomach, it's just life now.

Fears are normal, but at the same time, my fear of dying early was far scarier!

[Papa Jack 86]

Have you always done this...worrry? How many times have worrying proving true?

Wishing you the best.

[SKCUNNINGHAM 298]

I imagine if you asked each person here individually, we could come up with a list of the things we were afraid of, before the surgery.

For me, life after sleeve is SO MUCH BETTER than life before sleeve. I am happier and healthier. I will probably live to see my grandchildren grow up. I will live to retire with my husband. Yes, I have some saggy skin - which will get better over time and with exercise - but it is easily hidden with clothes. At only 8 months post-sleeve, I am still a work in process.

After the first 3 months (approximately) living with the sleeve is a snap. Give me Protein, Water and some kind of healthy veggie and I have all I need. If that means I take Jerky with me for when I go hunting with my husband, I do. If that means going to a grocery store in a city when I am travelling - I do. I can always find something to order off of a menu if I am in a restaurant.

I hope you overcome your fears and have the surgery. Good luck with your decision process.

[Becca 108]

I remember often freaking out before surgery when thinking about having my most of my stomach cut out. I also worried about failing with the sleeve, espcially after suffering through a failied lapband for over three years. Now, at ten months out, I couldn't be happier. I am just ten pounds from a normal weight. Yes, I have excess skin, but that is what Spanx are for! LOL I love that food does not control me anymore. I can pretty much eat whatever I want, just in small amounts. Shopping is so much fun! I used to wear black all the time thinking it helped cover up my huge body. Not anymore! We all come to this place where we know we need to make a change. I am so glad I made the decision to have my sleeve. It has given me a new life. I am no longer trapped by obesity. I feel like myself. You have that opportunity to do the same. This is for YOU! We will be here to cheer you on!

[gracemarie 6]

I had my sleeve 4 days ago. I am a surgery nurse so I know a whole more then most of what can go wrong. I was never really scared, just so happy that this is available. I am also 65 and I do not want to be on the sidelines any more. We travel a lot and I have a hard time keeping up. Also, I love clothes and want to start looking good in them. I take no meds, but my BP was creeping up and I do not want joint replacements from all the wt. that is on them. The most fun is that we live out of state from all family, so it will be really exciting when we see them. Step daug and family are first in the middle of Dec., and I should be about 50 lbs. down by the, enough to notice. I am looking foward to 6 mos. out, when I can eat anything, just in tiny portions, but remember you are also going to be full with that.

[gettingpissed 0]

I want to thank everybody and their advice and concern, it was welcomed.

I visited my surgeon today and discussed the concerns I have about after the surgery. He said that it was normal and that most people are worried up untill they are rolled into surgery. Three months latter they are more concerned about buying new clothes and staying on track with the lifestyle change. This doctor even said he would refer me to another surgeon if I was that uncomfortable. He pointed out that based on my medical/personal history that the chance of me losing the wait was very slim. He asked me what has being overweight and unable to lose those pounds have taken form me, what has being overweight KEPT me from doing? What has being this over weight cost me with my health? So after that I went home and took a good look in the mirror, something that I dislike doing a great deal. I did not like who I saw and what I had become. Yes being overweight has prevented me from doing things I enjoy, but I disagree that fat has taken anything from me, genetics yes, fat no. After doing some REAL deep self introspection, I came to the truth. I need this surgery not just to lose weight, but to have better health now and later on in life. I did ask about the whole not looking heavy comments that I have gotten, he said "what does the scale say". Just because you carry the extra weight well it does not prevent you from diabetes, destroyed knee joints, bad back ect, ect. So, I will gladly get his surgery and put the mind f*#king myself behind me. I just hope Goodwill has the clothes I need in my size when the time comes!!!

[Aussiegirl 580]

Good for you!

I think you would be hard pressed to find anyone here who didnt have concerns going in, what if there are complications, excess skin, how do you handle social engagements,,,the what ifs.

I came to the conclusion that I could not do it on my own before I chose this particular surgery.

I did alot of research before selecting which helped ease some of the issues. My normal doctor had not even heard of the surgery, but I found an awesome surgeon who put me at ease with it. Not to say on the day of the operation I was not freaking out, hell I was loosing most my stomach...voluntarily.

But even at only 6 weeks out I would not change a thing. food does not have the hold over me that it did before. I am able to get around easier, already feel the benefits, am loosing weight. I am starting to feel comfortable in my own body for the first time in along time.

Good luck with your journey!

[feedyoureye 3,087]

I want to thank everybody and their advice and concern, it was welcomed.

I visited my surgeon today and discussed the concerns I have about after the surgery. He said that it was normal and that most people are worried up untill they are rolled into surgery. Three months latter they are more concerned about buying new clothes and staying on track with the lifestyle change. This doctor even said he would refer me to another surgeon if I was that uncomfortable. He pointed out that based on my medical/personal history that the chance of me losing the wait was very slim. He asked me what has being overweight and unable to lose those pounds have taken form me, what has being overweight KEPT me from doing? What has being this over weight cost me with my health? So after that I went home and took a good look in the mirror, something that I dislike doing a great deal. I did not like who I saw and what I had become. Yes being overweight has prevented me from doing things I enjoy, but I disagree that fat has taken anything from me, genetics yes, fat no. After doing some REAL deep self introspection, I came to the truth. I need this surgery not just to lose weight, but to have better health now and later on in life. I did ask about the whole not looking heavy comments that I have gotten, he said "what does the scale say". Just because you carry the extra weight well it does not prevent you from diabetes, destroyed knee joints, bad back ect, ect. So, I will gladly get his surgery and put the mind f*#king myself behind me. I just hope Goodwill has the clothes I need in my size when the time comes!!!

I think doing it for the health is the best reason to have this done. How you feel about yourself and the way you look are a huge bonus. And I am practically living at Goodwill! Find a thrift store or two that carry a good selection... I have one near work that get the best donations...and they rack them by size so it makes things easier... Your Dr. sounds like a keeper to me....

[+change 5]

Hi GeLu, I was sleeved 3 weeks ago 10-12. I was so sick of dieting & at age 55 was ready to make peace with food. I have more energy than I have had in years after the operation & I have no desire for sweets which I used to love. This is a gift I wish I'd given myself years ago. You will love being sleeved.

Jan

[Lissa 2,631]

GeLu, I had the exact same thoughts as you did before surgery. I guess the little devil on my shoulder must have bounced over to you!

It is worth it, even at 2 months post-op I have more energy than ever before. I've dropped 50+ pounds of excess fat and I look better already.

It's great that you discussed all of this with your doctor. If you haven't had your psyche evaluation yet, maybe let them know that you have these issues. The questions won't prevent you from having surgery, but they may lead you to a referral for someone who can help you deal with the questions. However, I think your surgery will answer most of these questions for you and once you see the weight start melting away, you'll be fine.

Good luck on your journey!!