I've been off work for a few weeks. I'm a teacher and my child attends the school where I teach. Everyone knows Ive been "very" ill. They know that I had surgery. What do I tell them when they ask me what type of surgery I had? Ive tried the " major abdominal surgery" excuse, but I think I need something better..more specific.

What should I say?

What works for you may not work for everyone else. I have never lied!! And I AM sharing my experience here. Thanks for proving my point and JUDGING someone else's choice!! And no people are not stupid, but as you've just shown, they can be very cruel!

CALM DOWN !!! I did not intend to be cruel or call anyone a liar. I am not JUDGING anyone !!!! I am just saying that I think it is HELPFUL to share what you are going through and it could possibly open the minds of ignorant people who have misguided views of WLS. Sorry I did not mean to hit a nerve with you !!!

I have never lied. People ask me how I am losing the weight and I say cutting down on carbs and exercising. Increasing my Water. NOT one person has said did you have WLS to me. There is no shame in this what I am avoiding is ignorance from others. I have put up with the ignorance towards me my whole life. Keeping this to myself is for self preservation and nothing to do with shame. I have every right to tell whom I want to when I want to and how I want to. If you want to shout it from the roof tops I say go ahead. But please respect everyone else who does not want to share. Some of us are a lot more careful in what we share with the world.

See my comment above ...

I am not the only one who feels this way... see this post

http://www.verticalsleevetalk.com/topic/24330-please-do-not-remain-silent-about-your-sleeve/page__pid__205996#entry205996

Wow, Eyemallrt kind of went off the deep end there on Driverdeb. I get what Deb is saying and she wasn't trying to be cruel. If you don't want to tell, then don't! I think getting upset when people say "why not tell?" has more to do with how they feel about not telling than about anything else. Like Deb said, calm down! It's nothing to get upset about. If you don't want to tell, then don't! It was just her opinion.

Wow, Eyemallrt kind of went off the deep end there on Driverdeb. I get what Deb is saying and she wasn't trying to be cruel. If you don't want to tell, then don't! I think getting upset when people say "why not tell?" has more to do with how they feel about not telling than about anything else. Like Deb said, calm down! It's nothing to get upset about. If you don't want to tell, then don't! It was just her opinion.

Thanks Greg !!!

The post said, "What do I tell people?" My opinion is be HONEST !!! There are so few honest people now days...

Wow, Eyemallrt kind of went off the deep end there on Driverdeb. I get what Deb is saying and she wasn't trying to be cruel. If you don't want to tell, then don't! I think getting upset when people say "why not tell?" has more to do with how they feel about not telling than about anything else. Like Deb said, calm down! It's nothing to get upset about. If you don't want to tell, then don't! It was just her opinion.

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This site is for supporting others, not attacking them for having made decisions different than their own. I too believe it's nice to be able to ask questions and receive support, and hopefully do the same for others. I can do this on vsg without advertising it in my hometown and remaining a private person. Does that make me ashamed or a liar? Definitely not. And furthermore as overweight individuals we have all been judged, let's support others here, regardless of their choices, not calling each other ashamed liars.

You can always say it was personal and you would rather not talk about it. Say and do whatever you need to take care of yourself and be happy.

Well said

I am with the "never lie" group - I don't go shouting what I've done but I tell anyone who cares enough to ask. After all, I really don't want to contribute to the stigma that is already on WLS. It's there because of all the secrecy in the first place. To each his own, absolutely.

You said... "They know that I had surgery. What do I tell them when they ask me what type of surgery I had? Ive tried the " major abdominal surgery" excuse, but I think I need something better..more specific.

What should I say?"

Sooo, you posted this thread looking for support ? or you posted this thread asking for a believable lie to tell people ? BECAUSE the title says you are searching for a believable lie...

You said... "They know that I had surgery. What do I tell them when they ask me what type of surgery I had? Ive tried the " major abdominal surgery" excuse, but I think I need something better..more specific.

What should I say?"

Sooo, you posted this thread looking for support ? or you posted this thread asking for a believable lie to tell people ? BECAUSE the title says you are searching for a believable lie...

So what???????

I have never lied. People ask me how I am losing the weight and I say cutting down on carbs and exercising. Increasing my Water.

I agree that everyone should decide whether they want to tell or not.

However since most of us can't maintain weight loss by cutting carbs, exercising and increasing water intake alone, people will eventually figure out they were not told the whole truth.

I am not trying to convince anyone to tell or not or insult Autumn Lily. Each person should do whatever they want. My point here is to state that in my opinion people will know, will talk and will think they were lied to.

So what???????

Wow... You jumped down my throat and accused me of being cruel because I wouldn't help you make up a believable lie ?? That's CLASSLESS !!!

Absolutely brilliant!!! Nobody, NOBODY wants TMI - this is a great answer!!!

I can so relate!! I would look the person in the eye and say it was a personal woman thing, and all is well thank you. I have said this probably close to 50 times now and not once has anyone questioned me further. My weight is personal and keeping it private tends to be a woman thing and I am a woman..so what I reply is the honest truth!!

The next thing is you need to be prepared when people notice you not eating or eating as much, if its a pot luck, a shower, eating at a resturant what ever, its seems they always ask... and I just say I am having a little stomach issue right now and dont want to press my luck by eating more.

So remember....."its a personal woman thing and all is well thank you"

At times I feel guilty for lying. I have two stories, some times I combine them. "I am taking Topamax, a preventive for my migraines. One of the side effects is weight loss" (this is true, sadly, i did NOT lose weight when I started taking it) I also devulge part of the truth. I'm eating healthier and portion control. Ok....this is all factual, but I have FORCED portion control. There are many people who know, but there are others I am not close to and I don't feel like telling....but if it is someone who is overweight, moderately or quite a bit, I feel bad. I hate for someone to feel like a failure because I could 'do it' and they cannot. We all know, it is just about impossible to lose it and KEEP IT OFF. So.......this is what I do, and how I feel about it some of the time. So much baggage!! LoL