When something goes well for us, we tend to become evangelists about it. I am going to a "seminar" about VSG tomorrow, though... and I want to know if anyone here wishes they hadn't had the surgery.

Thanks.

agreed.

I don't think attacking Tamz on MY thread - where I asked specifically about "buyer's remorse" is very fair. She's sharing her honest feelings. You wanna be positive about hair loss and saggy skin, that's great. She doesn't have to be.

Well I'm only 13 days out and have had complications, but I wonder everyday what possessed me to do this. I love to eat and cook and I wonder if I will ever enjoy food again. I'm 5'7" and was 239 lbs so I keep thinking I could have gotten under 200 easily if I had just tried. If I could have a do over right now I would not even contemplate this surgery. Not to mention the money, I was self pay so I spent 13,0000 dollars of my families money to be miserable. So far I have lost 25 lbs and maybe when I lose 50 more and can eat and enjoy meals I will feel differently who knows.

I can identify with so much that you have to say. I too love to cook and bake, and of course EAT! I have spent the last few weeks wondering if I did something foolish, but every morning when I step on the scale, I absolutely am THRILLED to see how much I have lost. I have tried every diet, weight loss plan, etc in the world to loose weight, NONE with permanent results! I know this will be permanent and am absolutely THRILLED!!! I am down 44 pounds (20 pre-op and 24 post op) and I love the fact that I will soon enter "one"-derland!

As far as the cooking/baking thing, I am still cooking and baking, just not eating very much of what I fix. I feed my family, my roommate, my co-workers, etc. Also wanted to mention to you to check out www.theworldaccordingtoeggface . She had weight loss surgery 5 years ago last month, and loves to cook and bake. She has TONS of healthy recipes on her blog that make it interesting and fun to cook and bake again! She has been an endless source of encouragement to me.

I was having "buyers remorse" even before the surgery, wondering if I could stand this absolutely life changing thing I was going to do. About 4 days before the surgery it hit me, I would NEVER be able to eat as much as I wanted again. I would never be able to pig out on sweets or breads or whatever. I started writing to an old friend who had WLS about 3 years ago, asking her if she would do it again, and her answer encouraged me! She said it was the most positive thing she had ever done in her life. She said she now knows that she will live longer, be able to enjoy life with her husband, children and grandchildren for many more years, instead of the 5-6 years her personal physician had given her if she didn't do something about her weight and her many co-morbidities (medical conditions that could kill her)! Her diabetes is gone, her high cholesterol is gone, her sleep apnea is gone, her arthritis is better, her chronic fatigue syndrome is almost non-existant, she is active and loving her life. Even though she has gained back about 20-30 pounds of her 130 pound weight loss, she says she has never felt so good in her life. Every time I have some problems (I am only 3 weeks post op today) I think of her and remember that I want what she has!

This is SO validating to me! I am 4 days post up and am having a lot of vomiting and pain...and I am starving. Right now I am really, really pissed at myself for having to be in a spot that I put myself in so much, excruciating pain. I am inspired by this post! Thank you!

Hi Karelia:

I started out immediately post-surgery (as in waking up from the anesthesia!) with a serious case of buyer's remorse. I was angry at myself for getting to the point where a surgical procedure was the best option for my long-term health--I was mad!! I also had a problem with throwing up for the first month and a half, until the wonderful people on this board encouraged me to try a PPI and I got enough of it in my system to solve the problem. I'm telling you, my husband dealt with a very tearful, very frustrated, very upset wife for a good 6 weeks after my surgery. I was losing weight, though, even through all of that.

Since the throwing up problem has been gone now for almost 5 weeks, I can truthfully say I am really glad I had the surgery. Yes, I'm admitting it. :-) I know for a fact I would never have lost the weight "on my own," despite my best intentions--I had tried numerous times in the past and had never managed it. Now, I eat tiny portions of "regular" food, am losing weight despite not exercising much at all, and feel pretty darn good. I'm enjoying having cuter, smaller clothes, and I'm looking forward to getting back to teaching in the fall with more energy and more physical stamina. I'm also looking forward to my blood tests and physician checkup in a couple of weeks, because I know my blood pressure will be lower, my weight is getting better, and things are moving forward health-wise.

So, no, I don't regret it at all now--if you had asked me this same question a few weeks ago, you might have gotten a very different answer, but even then I knew it wasn't a permanent thing. There are frustrations at first with learning how to eat and what to eat and when to eat and even then, sometimes things beyond your personal control happen that you have to deal with, but time makes most of those things better. I'll be interested to see how others respond.

Best wishes to you as you research!!

Meg

Just an update to my previous reply:

2 months out now and I went thru a period of "WHY DID I GO THRU ALL THIS?" … because I had a 6-week stall, and my sinus stuff came back (sigh - thought the surgery had made it go away), which doesn't sound like much but it makes me really sick. I didn't regret it exactly, but I seriously wondered if all the effort and suffering was worth it.

Today, I'm still sick with the sinus stuff BUT I woke up to a sudden 5lb drop. The first time I've been in the 270s since 2 years ago, when I caught mono and gained 30lbs. So that's 35lbs in 2 mos, which is not great, but I'm hoping it'll move along again now.

I am not one for regret, generally. I'm big on making the best choice possible and simply acknowledging that I am human and fallible, if it turns out to be wrong. And then moving on.

I was terrified of the surgery because it's so permanent. So little in life is. Feud with your family? You can change that. Move to a foreign country? You can change that too. Marry the wrong person? That is something you can fix. Maybe fixing those things aren't easy, but it's possible.

Not so with the sleeve.

However, I am glad I did it. As long as I lose weight - however slowly - it's worth it. I don't have to obsess about food any more, either what I plan to eat or what I need to try not to eat. It has definitely helped my CFS/fibro, and that's a big deal.

I think sleeve-regret is even lower if you don't have emotional issues with food -- using it for comfort. I never mourned my ability to eat a lot of food (for which I am VERY grateful), because that's never been a thing for me. I've occasionally wished I could eat a couple more bites, but I also wish I could win the lottery so that's okay.

How is a 35 pound drop in two months ....including a 6 week stall... not F'n fantastic!!? That is as good as it gets girl, and don't you forget it! Congrats on getting through the infamous 3 week stall... mine lasted 4 weeks and was pretty demoralizing, but this weight is not supposed to ALL come off in two months.

Just an update to my previous reply:

2 months out now and I went thru a period of "WHY DID I GO THRU ALL THIS?" … because I had a 6-week stall, and my sinus stuff came back (sigh - thought the surgery had made it go away), which doesn't sound like much but it makes me really sick. I didn't regret it exactly, but I seriously wondered if all the effort and suffering was worth it.

Today, I'm still sick with the sinus stuff BUT I woke up to a sudden 5lb drop. The first time I've been in the 270s since 2 years ago, when I caught mono and gained 30lbs. So that's 35lbs in 2 mos, which is not great, but I'm hoping it'll move along again now.

I am not one for regret, generally. I'm big on making the best choice possible and simply acknowledging that I am human and fallible, if it turns out to be wrong. And then moving on.

I was terrified of the surgery because it's so permanent. So little in life is. Feud with your family? You can change that. Move to a foreign country? You can change that too. Marry the wrong person? That is something you can fix. Maybe fixing those things aren't easy, but it's possible.

Not so with the sleeve.

However, I am glad I did it. As long as I lose weight - however slowly - it's worth it. I don't have to obsess about food any more, either what I plan to eat or what I need to try not to eat. It has definitely helped my CFS/fibro, and that's a big deal.

I think sleeve-regret is even lower if you don't have emotional issues with food -- using it for comfort. I never mourned my ability to eat a lot of food (for which I am VERY grateful), because that's never been a thing for me. I've occasionally wished I could eat a couple more bites, but I also wish I could win the lottery so that's okay.

Last night I was thinking about your situation. It occurred to me that maybe something you are eating is causing the sinus stuff. I bet you are allergic to something that is making your sinus cavities inflame. Just a thought.

Tomorrow is my 30 days post op... and yes, I regret doing it every day. I hate it. I hate saying that, but I do. I cant go out with friends for dinner and eat normal .. and i dont even mean eating a lot like i used to, I mean i cannot even order a regular meal like everyone else does. I cant have bread, sweets.. nothing. Not even a normal slice like a 130lb person would. I hate it. Im hoping it will get better.. but at this point I wish I didnt.

Don't you think you'll be able to eat bread in time?

I think you will get different answers depending on how far someone is out. I am 6 days post op and hate every second. Yep....I have major regret. Ask me again in 6 months when I've actually eaten a solid piece of food and have resumed a semi-normal life....and I am sure I will have a different answer.

Tomorrow is my 30 days post op... and yes, I regret doing it every day. I hate it. I hate saying that, but I do. I cant go out with friends for dinner and eat normal .. and i dont even mean eating a lot like i used to, I mean i cannot even order a regular meal like everyone else does. I cant have bread, sweets.. nothing. Not even a normal slice like a 130lb person would. I hate it. Im hoping it will get better.. but at this point I wish I didnt.

Don't you think you'll be able to eat bread in time?

Honestly, I'm a little shocked at some of the reasons for regret. I'm 18 days post op. I've not had a single regret at any time. Surely you didn't go into this without realizing this was going to change your entire way of eating!? Did you really think that you would lose weight by still being able to eat full meals? Isn't that what got us into this mess? Not all of us, but a mass majority of us had no control over our portions, or the things we chose to eat. So now your regret is that you cannot sit down and eat an entire meal with a friend!? I... well, I'm sad for you about that. I went to dinner with a friend just a couple of days ago, and I was ecstatic that I could only order a piece of fish, and more ecstatic that I could only eat a small portion of it! It was THRILLING! There was a time when I would go to that same restaurant and scarf down an entire meal.... that put me at over 300 pounds! Why would I NOT want to give that up? From what I've read, all the things we go through for the first few months are NOT permanent. Yeah, it sucks that you have to have liquids for a couple of weeks, and pudding, and mushy stuff for a month, but its temporary. This is a long term change that will change your entire life! There is NOTHING embarrassing about eating a small portion of food! If ANYTHING your friends probably wish they got full on such a small amount! Embrace this change... and expect nothing but greatness from it.. because in the end, that is what you are going to have... a GREAT NEW YOU!

AMEN!!!!

Honestly, I'm a little shocked at some of the reasons for regret. I'm 18 days post op. I've not had a single regret at any time. Surely you didn't go into this without realizing this was going to change your entire way of eating!? Did you really think that you would lose weight by still being able to eat full meals? Isn't that what got us into this mess? Not all of us, but a mass majority of us had no control over our portions, or the things we chose to eat. So now your regret is that you cannot sit down and eat an entire meal with a friend!? I... well, I'm sad for you about that. I went to dinner with a friend just a couple of days ago, and I was ecstatic that I could only order a piece of fish, and more ecstatic that I could only eat a small portion of it! It was THRILLING! There was a time when I would go to that same restaurant and scarf down an entire meal.... that put me at over 300 pounds! Why would I NOT want to give that up? From what I've read, all the things we go through for the first few months are NOT permanent. Yeah, it sucks that you have to have liquids for a couple of weeks, and pudding, and mushy stuff for a month, but its temporary. This is a long term change that will change your entire life! There is NOTHING embarrassing about eating a small portion of food! If ANYTHING your friends probably wish they got full on such a small amount! Embrace this change... and expect nothing but greatness from it.. because in the end, that is what you are going to have... a GREAT NEW YOU!

Gosh- thanks for your post- I feel this same way- well I am 3 months out and am really struggling- it's crazy just crazy what your mind goes thru after this surgery- I only thought I was prepared- but boy have I gotten a wake up call- it really has been the hardest thing I have ever done mentally-

AND

i didn't realize how much of my food I just inhaled- chewing it till its a bloody pulp and gross mush in my mouth is getting old- and the nausea and now gallstones from "loosing to fast" - it is a struggle-

BUT

like others said- I have lost 62lbs in 2.5 months- WOW I feel better- my bones feel better- I can shave my legs and wipe my butt better lol - my husband (I feel - probably just cause I struggle with how can he love me if I don't love me) notices me more- and there are times I realize OK I need to pull up (sometimes literally) my big girl panties and get my self together cause there is no turning back- but everyones journey is different - emotionally- physically- spiritually-

SO you the one who asked the question in the first place- YES- you will have days you wish you didn't do it- BUT you will also have days you rejoice in the fact you did something for yourself and move on with LIFE

Well said!!!

You make an excellent point, and have done so in a respectful way. Thank you

Honestly, I'm a little shocked at some of the reasons for regret. I'm 18 days post op. I've not had a single regret at any time. Surely you didn't go into this without realizing this was going to change your entire way of eating!? Did you really think that you would lose weight by still being able to eat full meals? Isn't that what got us into this mess? Not all of us, but a mass majority of us had no control over our portions, or the things we chose to eat. So now your regret is that you cannot sit down and eat an entire meal with a friend!? I... well, I'm sad for you about that. I went to dinner with a friend just a couple of days ago, and I was ecstatic that I could only order a piece of fish, and more ecstatic that I could only eat a small portion of it! It was THRILLING! There was a time when I would go to that same restaurant and scarf down an entire meal.... that put me at over 300 pounds! Why would I NOT want to give that up? From what I've read, all the things we go through for the first few months are NOT permanent. Yeah, it sucks that you have to have liquids for a couple of weeks, and pudding, and mushy stuff for a month, but its temporary. This is a long term change that will change your entire life! There is NOTHING embarrassing about eating a small portion of food! If ANYTHING your friends probably wish they got full on such a small amount! Embrace this change... and expect nothing but greatness from it.. because in the end, that is what you are going to have... a GREAT NEW YOU!

You know, unless someone has really bad problems with the surgery itself, or someother physical problem afterward, I can't imagine that anyone would prefer to go back to their previous state. However, I know that for some people, fat is like a wall and when that wall is knocked down, they feel exposed. It is easy to hide behind tonnage. I see the people on the hoarding shows who use their garbage as a type of security. I'm sure people use fat in the same way. I'm so sorry for anyone who can't embrace the gift of being able to walk without pain, sleep without a machine, get out of a chair without struggling, shop in regular stores and most of all, the gift of being able to remove so many health risks by simply eating less, without starving. I mean, you can even eat most anything, just in small portions. But just like the hoarders, sometimes useless junk or old ways of living are hard to give up. Good luck to you and know that if you do this you will have moments where you regret it, usually within the first few days, but after that, you may, like many of us, thank God every day for this gift!

I couldn't agree with you more!! Why have the surgery done if you don't want to eat small amounts?

I went out to dinner with a large group of friends the other night and cut off a tiny piece of my husband's chicken and just ate very slowly and enjoyed the company of my friends. I was SO full off such a small piece of chicken and I was so excited that I could feel so satisfied after such a small amount. It's exactly why I got the surgery done. I didn't feel deprived in any way. This has been the best thing I've ever done for myself!!

Honestly, I'm a little shocked at some of the reasons for regret. I'm 18 days post op. I've not had a single regret at any time. Surely you didn't go into this without realizing this was going to change your entire way of eating!? Did you really think that you would lose weight by still being able to eat full meals? Isn't that what got us into this mess? Not all of us, but a mass majority of us had no control over our portions, or the things we chose to eat. So now your regret is that you cannot sit down and eat an entire meal with a friend!? I... well, I'm sad for you about that. I went to dinner with a friend just a couple of days ago, and I was ecstatic that I could only order a piece of fish, and more ecstatic that I could only eat a small portion of it! It was THRILLING! There was a time when I would go to that same restaurant and scarf down an entire meal.... that put me at over 300 pounds! Why would I NOT want to give that up? From what I've read, all the things we go through for the first few months are NOT permanent. Yeah, it sucks that you have to have liquids for a couple of weeks, and pudding, and mushy stuff for a month, but its temporary. This is a long term change that will change your entire life! There is NOTHING embarrassing about eating a small portion of food! If ANYTHING your friends probably wish they got full on such a small amount! Embrace this change... and expect nothing but greatness from it.. because in the end, that is what you are going to have... a GREAT NEW YOU!