i decided only to tell very few people. i think ppl are so judgemental & id hate for ppl to look at me funny. i feel like i could lose so much having vsg but i would be the "fat girl who had WLS" instead of being "healthy & smaller".

i only told my ex who him & i just broke up after 9yrs. he used to be 500lbs & became a body builder and lost all the weight thru diet & exercise.

my mom who is my support system & my bestfriend of 12years. oh & my employer who had the surgery & i looked into it as soon as i saw her weight loss!

for those of you who have had vsg already, did you feel like telling more ppl after losing the weight? i started a vlog (video log) on youtube but made all the videos private. im going to keep them all private & im going to keep making more until maybe after dropping the weight. if im comfortable enough, i will put them out for the world to see.

I told my immediate family and my best friend only. Like you said, I didn't want to defined for life as "Mel who had WLS", when I am "Mel" and always will be "Mel"... I am glad everyday I just did it & told nobody and don't feel an once of guilt when people ask or say I'm looking good.. I reply my standard reply "I'm trying hard!!".. which is mostly true I feel I don't need anybody else's judgement!

I dont plan to tell anyone besides my husband who is very supportive. I dont tell people when I'm wearing a girdle which is supposed to make me look thinner, so I'm not telling them about my WLS that will make me look thinner too. If I'm asked, I'll definitely mentioned that I made a drastic change in my eating habits and modified my lifestyle.

I was so excited to have it done, I told anyone who asked, and even those who didn't! I still do to this day. What is important, is I don't just tell them I had WLS, I educate them as well. They need to understand, we did not take the easy way out. You still have to maintain a proper diet and exercise, even with WLS to lose weight. And for many of us, this surgery literally will save our lives. I think it is too important not to share. And, once I explain the benefits, and educate people, most of them always have a positive outcome in terms of their thoughts on the sleeve.

very well put!

I dont plan to tell anyone besides my husband who is very supportive. I dont tell people when I'm wearing a girdle which is supposed to make me look thinner, so I'm not telling them about my WLS that will make me look thinner too. If I'm asked, I'll definitely mentioned that I made a drastic change in my eating habits and modified my lifestyle.

I've told virtually everyone EXCEPT my family. Why haven't I told them? Because they are the ultimate in negativity and dead set against me having surgery or even making any decisions for myself on my own despite the fact they know I research everything first.

Eventually I MAY tell them, but then it will be too late for them to bellyache about it.

i have an aunt who im close with but we have a love/hate relationship. shes the most negative person you could ever ever EVER meet. im definitely not going to tell her. my mom & her are sisters and are very close & my mom agreed that keeping it from her is the best move until maybe further down the line.

I've told virtually everyone EXCEPT my family. Why haven't I told them? Because they are the ultimate in negativity and dead set against me having surgery or even making any decisions for myself on my own despite the fact they know I research everything first.

Eventually I MAY tell them, but then it will be too late for them to bellyache about it.

You know what made me not tell anyone?? .. was when I was trying to put a face to a name about another mother at my childs school; the person I was taking to said "You know, 'The Sleeve-Sisters'"...

I instantly knew who she was talking about and didn't even know the lady!! I thought that was sad That this probably amazing, friendly woman (that I didn't know) was only known for the surgery she chose to have... I dunno, just my opinion Some might be happy that having the surgery made them 'known', I guess it depends on our individual personalities.

Having said that, if I had a friend or anybody who shared my weight problems ask me how I lost weight, I would confide in them and gladly help them in anyway I could, but at the moment I am surrounded by thin people!!

I have found that people can act really strange about weight. Why that is I will never figure out. I do not understand why some people are so judgemental. Therefore, only my husband, kids (15&13) know and one awesome and supportive friend. Other friends that live out of state I may tell later. It really will be a case by case thing. This is MY decision. I do not need any one else's approval or disapproval. I prefer to surround myself with people like yourselves who understand this journey.

would i be wrong for leaving out the fact that i had WLS?

No, you have to do what is right for you. I had a failed lapband , so many already knew I had WLS. Do what you feel right doing.

see, that right there is why i wouldnt want to tell many people! i can hear my distant family members saying, "oh my god, jasmin lost so much weight!" and then another person saying, "dont be fooled, she had WLS! thats the only reason!"

negative things like that make me want to keep it to myself.

You know what made me not tell anyone?? .. was when I was trying to put a face to a name about another mother at my childs school; the person I was taking to said "You know, 'The Sleeve-Sisters'"...

I instantly knew who she was talking about and didn't even know the lady!! I thought that was sad That this probably amazing, friendly woman (that I didn't know) was only known for the surgery she chose to have... I dunno, just my opinion Some might be happy that having the surgery made them 'known', I guess it depends on our individual personalities.

Having said that, if I had a friend or anybody who shared my weight problems ask me how I lost weight, I would confide in them and gladly help them in anyway I could, but at the moment I am surrounded by thin people!!

well put.

I have found that people can act really strange about weight. Why that is I will never figure out. I do not understand why some people are so judgemental. Therefore, only my husband, kids (15&13) know and one awesome and supportive friend. Other friends that live out of state I may tell later. It really will be a case by case thing. This is MY decision. I do not need any one else's approval or disapproval. I prefer to surround myself with people like yourselves who understand this journey.

lol Just in the last month, my decision time, I have told only my family, and one very supportive co-worker. :-) But it has been on the tip of my tongue a few times. A lady I work with had the Lap band done over a year ago. I had asked her once, "what are you doing?" and she had replied something ruefull like, "I'm starving myself!" I just sort of laughed with her. I asked her again some months later, "seriously...what are you doing?" She told me then that she had had the lapband. I guess it was rude of me to pry, but the fact that she had used humor to shine me on last time...well, I guess I'm sort of slow. lol

I'm still considering how I will answer. Part of me agrees with everyone of you who hasn't told anyone anything...for all the same reasons!!! The other side of me, the one that is in counseling and desperately want to be free of the shame...I just don't want to carry any secrets. I know that it certainly doesn't make it sameful to not tell anyone; but I guess I need to decide if it is more cethardic to be "a man" hahahaha forgive the sexist remark, and to heck with what anyone thinks--stand on my own two feet and decision!

oooooh just saying that felt good!! hahahahaha

I've discussed my surgery openly with my mom and boyfriend for the past 2 years. I know my mom told my dad, and that's just fine. As my surgery date got closer I started to tell more people. Every single person has been wonderful about it. They're all really excited for me. A coworker even guessed that I was having WLS, everyone at work knows I'm having my gallbladder out and they know I've been dieting for the past 2 years, but 1 woman just seemed to know I was having WLS.

I feel like everyone knows, or will be able to tell soon. I think I'll be much more open post-op. I used to think I would just tell people I was eating less and exercising more, which is true, but then I started to think about all the people who could benefit from my experience. I only learned about VSG when an acquaintance was very open about her plans for surgery, now I kinda feel obligated to share this gift with others.

just today, i was anxious to open up to my aunt who is by far the most negative person in the world but as quick as i was about to tell her is as quick as i changed my mind. i may as well go on my local news channel & broadcast it myself.

lol Just in the last month, my decision time, I have told only my family, and one very supportive co-worker. :-) But it has been on the tip of my tongue a few times. A lady I work with had the Lap band done over a year ago. I had asked her once, "what are you doing?" and she had replied something ruefull like, "I'm starving myself!" I just sort of laughed with her. I asked her again some months later, "seriously...what are you doing?" She told me then that she had had the lapband. I guess it was rude of me to pry, but the fact that she had used humor to shine me on last time...well, I guess I'm sort of slow. lol

I'm still considering how I will answer. Part of me agrees with everyone of you who hasn't told anyone anything...for all the same reasons!!! The other side of me, the one that is in counseling and desperately want to be free of the shame...I just don't want to carry any secrets. I know that it certainly doesn't make it sameful to not tell anyone; but I guess I need to decide if it is more cethardic to be "a man" hahahaha forgive the sexist remark, and to heck with what anyone thinks--stand on my own two feet and decision!

oooooh just saying that felt good!! hahahahaha

i think id tell strangers to help but never distant family members. ive made that decision

I've discussed my surgery openly with my mom and boyfriend for the past 2 years. I know my mom told my dad, and that's just fine. As my surgery date got closer I started to tell more people. Every single person has been wonderful about it. They're all really excited for me. A coworker even guessed that I was having WLS, everyone at work knows I'm having my gallbladder out and they know I've been dieting for the past 2 years, but 1 woman just seemed to know I was having WLS.

I feel like everyone knows, or will be able to tell soon. I think I'll be much more open post-op. I used to think I would just tell people I was eating less and exercising more, which is true, but then I started to think about all the people who could benefit from my experience. I only learned about VSG when an acquaintance was very open about her plans for surgery, now I kinda feel obligated to share this gift with others.