How to deal with stress...

[coops 1,790]

Hello fellow sleevers,

I am currently going through a really stressful time here.

My husband is having a knee op today, and although he is young(ish...lol) and fit, I still worry. His recovery will be anything from 4 - 6mths; he will either have micro fracture and stem cell or realignment of the knee joint.

This has come at the wrong time, as in work I have been accepted as an examiner and have over 400 scripts (exam papers) to mark in the next 2 - 2 1/2 weeks; the vital part of his recovery. I am also working full time, have two children and already I am starting to feel stressed and a little tense.

Usually I would find comfort in a bar of choc or something similar... how do I now comfort/passify these feelings. I do have a great cirlce of friends but it ain't the same as a Mars bar...lol

Exercise is an option, but with the situation as it is, time and energy will be limited ... I do intend to continue my boxing sessions! They are only twice a week.

When you feel like this how do you cope? What do you do to get you through tough times?

[thinoneday 445]

Well my dear friend, life is a bowl of cherries and all your left with is the pits. . . lol. . . no seriously now, what i do is this

Take it one day at a time. . . . my old addage of "this too shall pass" is what comforts me. . since you have 400 papers to mark within 14 day or so, if you can squeeze in 25 - 28 of those per day everyday you'll be done with the time alloted. . . depending on the age of the kids, they should understand your crunch time and should be able to assist you with things, like household duties and entertaining themselves. . . hubbie will need the help, but not every single minute of your day, get him comfy with whatever it is, have the urinal or bedpan nearby for him to reach, his pain pills, Snacks, fluids, etc and he should understand as well. . .

life is a funny thing but sometimes we have to do what we have to do. . . you'll be ok, and let me tell you that chocolate bar will NOT help you through this, (coffee will ) your smarts and know how and organizational skill is what will get you through this. . . . good luck! You'll be fine!

[chilo1 62]

Oh Coops I totally understand you I'm going through a lot of stress at the moment and without food as my crutch I'm really struggling to cope with it all. Sorry I'm not able to give any great advice at the moment but hang in there. I hope all goes well with your husbands operation, big hugs from gloomy Newcastle

[swizzly 901]

Sorry to hear that stressful times are amongst us!

Coops, you are so good at being sleeved, I don't have any doubt that you can do this too. I have always admired your will and attitude. I completely agree with thinoneday -- take everything one day, one hour, one minute at a time. Instead of worrying about the entire upcoming weeks, just get through each day and mentally pat yourself on the back for getting things done that you need to.

And I believe a chocolate bar at this stage would make you ill...physically probably. Plus, think how much MORE stressed you would be by getting angry at yourself for turning to food for comfort and eating the sugary calories you don't want or need.

You can do it!! {{HUGS}} to you and chilo both.

[Oregondaisy 2,019]

I find taking a walk really helps. In the evening I like to sit with herbal tea and it relaxes me.

I do exercise at a gym every day, so I think that does keep my stress level down. Things don't stress me out as much when I exercise regularly.

[juliarh 35]

I'm with everyone -- I think the chocolate will make you sick physically and not help (you'll beat yourself up over it and that won't be helpful either) --

Like Thin said, organization is the key (and coffee) -- prep your kids -- tell them what you're going to be going through -- have them take on extra tasks and tell them there will be a reward at the end of this time period. They'll be happy to think about the extra nice thing coming their way.

Get your husband's area ready for his recovery -- I'd figure out how much of your assistance he'll need versus needing "anyone" to do it -- for example if he needs tea or needs food, your kids can do that.

And work and the papers I know you've got that all figured out.

Taking it day by day is the key -- sometime when we look at the entire thing, we get overwhelmed. I think you're gonna do fine Big hugs!

[coops 1,790]

Thanks Ladies...

just to know that I can pop on here and have a moan helps me feel less tense.

He's still in the op theatre, it is 6pm here, so he's been there a while... still not sure how the op went!

I've had a rough day work wise... when I got home, I tried to do some marking but couldn't focus or concentrate... to be honest, I went upstairs and led on the bed for an hour... that helped a little.

The kids are great, my daughter sorted their tea out for me and they are now walking the dog. They do realise that the next couple of weeks are gonna be hard... I've tried to explain to them that it will go quickly but at their ages of 13 & 11 time seems to drag more... oh to be young again!

I am defo not going down the choc route... NO WAY! If I need a treat I will either get some pork scratchings, which I love. I have also bought some high fibre cracker, gluten and wheat free... 25 cals each and are really crunchy... so they will be a nice substitute for 'mindless' eating and they fill me up really quickly!

Hers hoping the next few weeks go as smoothly as poss... once again thanks for your support...

Chilo. hope things are ok with you... stress is awful, ain't it! x

[lsereno 2,525]

Walking outdoors. The combination of sunshine, fresh air, and exercise helps me every time. Even if it's just around the block.

I like the idea of dividing the work up so you have a chunk each day.

Use a timer: Set times for time-outs for yourself, time to work on papers, time for kids, etc. (Thanks to Flylady, http://www.flylady.com for that one!)

Download a short relaxation meditation and listen to it at least once a day. Kaiser has them for free online at: https://members.kaiserpermanente.org/redirects/listen/

Keep your eye on the goal: You will enjoy the new job/make more money, you and the hubby will enjoy life more when you are both healthier in a few months.

Buy yourself a non-food reward. Instead of a few dollars on fast food or Snacks, buy a new lipstick, lotion, hair clip, or pretty knick-knack. Enjoy it!

Best wishes to you and your family during this busy, eventful time!

Lynda

[YORKSHIRE GIRL ANGE 1]

Hiya Sue, good to hear from you.

I hope everything goes ok with your hubbie and his knee. Lets hope it ends up being a simpler procedure and he recovers sooner than you all thought.

As to the stress question, flippin heck love what a load you’ve got on you just now. I’m lucky in that I don’t really get stressed, but then again I don’t have a husband and kids, maybe thats why LOL !!!!

If it helps you, I was retail manager for about 20 years. At our busiest times, namely Christmas, we could have queues of 50 or more people at the tills. A lot of the girls who worked for me would get totally stressed out when they looked at the end of the queue and think they’d never serve everyone. I would tell them to look at the person in front of them and not the 50^th and do their best.

Look at the paper in front of you that are marking and not the pile that is left and do your best love. You’ll take a lot of the pressure off by doing that.

Sit your lovely girls down and talk to them about what you’re facing just now and ask them what they can do to help. That way they won’t feel that they are being told what to do and it will help build their self esteem when they take on a little of the responsibility for themselves. I find its always better to turn things around and have people think that it was their idea to do something instead of me actually telling them what to do.

As to the chocolate “ crutch “. This is going to go against everything everyone else is saying. What the hell Sue love, if a bit of chocolate helps you, just go for it. Don't beat yourself up, these are exceptional circumstances you are going through just now. It isn’t like you’ll be able to scoff down buckets full of the stuff like before your op. Its just an added bit of stress trying to be " strong " and resisting, we are only human at the end of the day after all op or no op. One of the reasons I went for the sleeve is because I would not have to cut out everything and believe me I could wolf down tons of all the bad stuff before stressed or not.

I’m thinking about you and sending positive vibes. Remember, 1 thing at a time and you’ll get through it.

I’ll be in touch soon.

Love and hugs

Angela xxx

[coops 1,790]

Hi All,

Just a quick update... things are worse than I had hoped for.

The op went well, but it was the worst case scenario... he had the micro fracture, stem cell and realignment with a titanium rod... OUCH! On top to of that he had to have a general to which he has a nasty reaction, then he also had an allergic reaction to the morphine at which point he was in and out of consciouness and his oxygen in his blood went down to 46!! Not good! He has to stay in hospital until Tuesday as his knee is too swollen to put the cast on. He will have this on for three weeks, and then he needs a brace, so recovery will be longer than I first anticipated!

Good news is that my parents are gonna have the kids for me for a few days, so I can try and focus on sorting my exam marking out and then I can work around visiting hours...

Oh well, we knew this wasn't gonna be easy!

Thanks for the comments, they all make complete sense, and one day at a time is the way forward... fingers crossed =]

[Lots Of Hope 4]

It's hard when we are still in morning from losing our comfort friend....food! I sub with baths and music, or take a break and escape in a good novel! Give 90% away but always keep 10 % for you everyday ! if you don't, you might fall.. And then what? Good luck and I will keep you and your family in my prayers.