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Day 21. So apparently, that was food.
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When I first found out about dietary restrictions after VSG they didn't sound so bad to me. Couple of weeks of liquids -- fine -- my innards would have been shredded, probably wouldn't be a good idea to order a pepperoni pizza after that anyway. Ten days of "full" liquids...hm. Challenging. But doable. At the end of all this would be "mushies" and then solids which in my head seemed like "eating normally." Restrictions like only eating three meals a day seemed ludicrous and something to simply ignore -- I ate *alot*, there was nothing that was going to stop me from having a latenight chipfest.
Mashed potatoes at the start of the fourth week? All *rriiiiigght*...that's what I'm talking about. No problem! Just a couple of weeks of a liquid diet and then back to plate-juggling ala Crosswind. I imagined myself bolting through a single serving of cottage cheese and making sugarfree butterscotch pudding and then maybe some lowcarb Protein Peanut Butter Cookies and so forth.
None of that has gone according to plan at all. Today I tried eating and failed the team.
For Breakfast I tried two scrambled eggs with a spoonful of chili Beans, salsa seasoning and a dollop of yogurt. This was inedible. After looking forward to eating for so long what was on my plate was as appealing as whatever you'd find in the corner of a dormitory elevator on Sunday morning. I got half in me, left the rest on the counter and left the building so I would not have to think about it anymore. Did you ever read a novel in which some limpid, winsome petunia was trying to "choke down her food" because her fragile nerves were on edge? I'd think, how feminine, I never had to choke down anything in my whole life, I learned how to eat when I was three months old and I have never had one single problem with the whole procedure.
So that was breakfast. Then I tried another experiment -- yogurt with my favorite supercharged nutriion shake, which would make it thicker and more foodlike.
No luck. chocolate glue. I ate barely a quarter and left it on the bedroom dresser and again left the building.
Palak Paneer for dinner was easier and I got down a whole serving, but slowly. And then I got it into my head try mashed potatoes. Mashed potatoes, forbidden pommes, I hadn[t had any probably since Star Trek Voyager was on TV. But t was on the list of allowed foods and while this statement in most contexts is an exaggeration, I had not eaten in three weeks.
I made a whole pot of the Betty Crocker kind out of the box and served myself 2/3s of a cup.
Now this was the worst part. I'm wired for dumplings. I've got peirogi running through my veins. I wanted that Betty Crocker starchbomb BAD.
I took one bite and it was already too much. I made it through half of that until I was, alas, defeated.
They didn't even taste that great, anyway.
I think I ate no more than six hundred calories and even with the potatoes maybe 35 carbs. And I felt so stuffed after dinner I was quite sure I was doing something wrong and had somehow concealed an extra three thousand calories from myself.
So that was food, on my first day of food.
I can see now why people forget to eat after the sleeve. It's kind of...well, a drag. I can't imagine trying to put away a cheeseburger. I am getting the feeling that one day I'll be amazed I ever could.
My incision looks okay so I swam for an hour, just paddled around and did ten laps or so. In the locker room is the all-weights, all-ages, wheelchair-friendly scale I got on a month ago when it told me I weighed 289 pounds.
Not today.
260.
Wow.