Surgery Secrecy

[BlackBerryJuice 349]

In your situation it's obvious you can't lie about what you have done. I would just say something like an Uncle who was obese saw you struggling and left you enough money to have the surgery. They don't need to be so far up your butt to know everything. If you are going in the medical field and it sounds like to be a doctor this is really just as much as an investment in your future as finishing medical school. It's tough to be 300lbs and tell your 180lb pt. to lose weight!! They are going to be thinking well you need to also, etc. I'd leave it as an inheritance and vague. Maybe through in a few tears of how awesome and close the "uncle" was. I know I'm horrible. :001_unsure:

Hahahah, I like this idea. I was actually thinking of just saying my boyfriend financed it as a gift or something (he makes enough money for it to sound plausible).

I ran into a classmate at the clinic the other day as I was sweating buckets in a paper gown (I had some hot flashes the first few days after anesthesia), so since I looked like crap, I had to tell her I was recovering from surgery, but I said I had my gallbladder out. Then she started asking me all these questions about gallbladder surgery (which I know nothing about), so I had to be all vague and general, haha.

[Go Kart Mozart 44]

I took the easy way out. I wanted my friends to know, but didn't feel like having to talk about it. I told one of my friends, who is a blabbermouth, and at the end said, "don't tell anyone." Well, that's all it took, he told everyone, just as I planned. :nono:

[thinoneday 445]

Curious about how open you guys are about having had surgery. Do you just tell anyone? Close friends/family only? My boyfriend had bypass surgery 2 years ago and every once in awhile he'll run into someone who is shocked and asks him how he lost all the weight-- he has no problem telling them it was surgery, even people he doesn't know well at all.

It's not that I think this is weird, I just don't know how comfortable I'll be answering that question with acquaintances. How do you guys usually go about it? What about telling others you're about to have surgery? Have you told coworkers etc. what kind of surgery it is when they ask? My mom doesn't even know yet so I'm kind of struggling with the delicacy of this a bit.

What i tell those who don't know about the surgery is that I'm eating less and exercising, which really isn't a lie because that is what your doing. . . those who know well they have just accepted the fact

[GeorgieGirl1957 0]

I understand and I think that for me part of it is that weird psychological thing (bad self talk) that has you looking in the mirror saying to yourself, "Ok, you're really obese, you've been this way a really long time. What if you tell everyone and it turns out that you are the ONE person who the surgery doesn't do a damn thing for. What if nothing changes? What if it doesn't work?

Now, I know this is crazy talk, but it is part of our low self esteem that comes with this disease. I have actually had nightmares that I went through all this and NOTHING changed. Woke up crying. Then realized it was just a bad dream. That keeps me coming back looking at the success stories and reminds me that I can do it too. But I still am hesitant to shout it from the rooftops. Legitimate questions I can deal with. Judgements I want no part of. I am taking extreme steps to get to where I need to be because nothing else I have tried has done the trick before. I have gained and lost 250 lbs over my adult life, twice. And the statistics show that long term (5 years) of people who do the diet/exercise plan have a long term success rate of a whopping 4%. 4% I don't have those odds in my favor given my history. Finally, I have a tool that will not only help me lose it, but will help me keep it off. This is not the easy way out, but it certainly is A WAY OUT. Here's to all of our success!!!

gg

[Butrcupz622 1]

My mom was the one who actually put me on to having this surgery after she had the lapand done. I chose to tell my immediate family because, they are after all, my support system. My friends and acquaintances haven't a clue what's going on because I simply don't want to hear their opinions. Everyone always has one whether it matters or not. Best thing in your situation is to trust your instincts and trust only the ones that you know will support you and be a good friend. Good luck!

[**LaSaJaTa** 4]

Amen Khrista!

[Garyb_58 1]

I live in a small town and play in a local country band, so people have seen the weight fall off so quickly there was no way I could have told them anything but the truth. So far I have not heard of any bad comments being made about my WLS. I tell anyone that wants to know because I feel that the sleeve has worked great for me and is helping to save my life. I've had to explain VSG to them because most of them have heard about Lapband and other forms of WLS but not the sleeve.

I've actually had more people make bad comments about me going to Mexico to have surgery than the surgery itself. Once I explain to them the reasons why I went to Mexico and the care I received there and the fact that I would go back again in a heartbeat, then comments stop or they don't say them to me.

I have been surprized how well the story of my WLS goes over with people.

Good Luck,

[Oregondaisy 2,020]

More power to all of you who are brave enough to tell people.

I told my kids and my one friend who had surgery a week after I did.

I didn't want to tell people and listen to all their comments. So many people say you're taking the easy way out, and then there are all the others who keep asking

"so how much have you lost now?"

Since I had the band first, I lost weight slowly. I told everyone I was exercising and watching portions which was true. It's been 3 years now since I've lost my weight, so now I get more questions about how I am able to keep it off.

I tell them that I've been going to the gym for 6 years now, at least 5 days a week and I've learned how much a portion size is and I am glad I am in the habit of going to the gym.

[lamsunshine 2]

I am being honest about it....there are some people who know and I don't want to pick and chose who I tell and who I don't and try to keep up with who is who. I also don't want to be dubbed a "liar" when I make up another excuse and they find out the truth. Besides, there may be someone who can benefit from my choice to have WLS.

I did read somewhere where someone would respond with "I eat a lot less" when they were asked how they lost so much. I guess this is technically true!!

I personally don't care what others think. If they want to think it is the easy way out, then so be it. They don't have to live with my choice or with my body - I do! I saw where someone had a good response to this reaction: "Well, I certainly hope that if you are at work and find an easier, more effective way to do your job you would go with that route instead of doing things the hard way just to prove something to yourself".

If someone looks at me negatively because of my choice to have WLS, they aren't worth a damn in my book. They should be happy for me that I'm going to be happy and healthy - no matter which route I took to get there!

I could not of said it better myself. I tell people and anyone who has something negative to say I just block what there saying out, and usually it is someone I don't even know, so I hear blah blah, blah. My family and friends are all very supportive, of me. I had to tell my co-workers because they have heard me cussing at the VA a few times. Worked out good for me they are all going through their clothes, and giving me handmedowns. I'm very excited. lol

[lunarose 97]

Hi, I haven't really decided yet my guess is that I will answer truthfully if anyone asks (I always plan on lying about my age but usually feel too stupid about it and never do).

[trouble 0]

I told my parents, my husband and 4 or 5 close friends. I didn't tell anyone at work but since I was on the pre-op diet everyone just thinks I'm on a diet and that's why I'm losing. I made a point to make a big deal about being on a diet during the pre-o diet so everyone would remember I was on a diet. When people ask how I'm losing so much weight I just say I've cut back my portions which is not a lie. It's not something that I think is everyone's business and I also don't want to hear the negative comments.

[Jane_J 117]

well i have told just about everyone. when asked on Facebook when i post pics some people ask how i have been losing weight and i tell them. i am like the other person on here, if i can inspire someone to have this surgery and help them be healthy then i will. i also have been an inspiration to a co-worker of mine. she just had the surgery this past monday and she is doing fab. good luck to each and everyone of you. there are going to be people that are negative about it because they don't have the courage and the want to give up food. again, good luck..

Laura, I agree 100% with you. it's fantastic that you have been able to help your co-worker find this op and change her life too. :confused1::thumbup:

Jane x

[teh ericka 1]

I've actually had more people make bad comments about me going to Mexico to have surgery than the surgery itself. Once I explain to them the reasons why I went to Mexico and the care I received there and the fact that I would go back again in a heartbeat, then comments stop or they don't say them to me.

THIS is a doozy! I told my mom about the surgery itself and she was supportive, but I couldn't even get out "Mex..." before she burst into tears and begged me not to "die on a table in another country." It's really hard because I have done so much research and have had to work really hard on feeling comfortable and safe, and then people make comments like that and blow it all.

I know I'm taking a risk by going to Mexico, but I also know that the pros significantly outweigh the cons for me, and that I feel confident in my ability to choose a good doctor. But she's a nurse from the old school days and has some nightmarish vision of me dying alone in some dirty dinky room. It's just really hard to hear that and say "I'm doing it anyway" without her thinking I don't care.

[thenewme1654 0]

I have been telling people on a "need to know" basis. My family and co-workers know and have been very supportive. The reaction from some of my "close" friends has been interesting- most are supportive and one I think is negative because of jealousy. So be it. I don't feel that I need or want to discuss it with everyone who asks, so in answer to "how did you lose the weight", I usually say..."lots of hard work" and smile sweetly. I have never had anyone push it further, but if they did I will say, "I watch everything I eat". I really feel that just because someone asks, I an not obligated to give them my medical history.

[BlaqBeary 23]

I tell all who will listen. The hardest was thinking how to discuss with Mom. When I did (twice) she totally understands. It's nothing like having your parents approval no matter how old you are. While she has never had a weight issue, she says to me, "I know who have tried losing and suffered long enough, I just want you to be okay". I explained everything i could to her, and answered some questions she had. I know she worries about me in general, but I assured her everything will be good.

For you, think about what you will say to your mother. But know that you MUST do this for yourself and NO ONE ELSE. I'm 43 and want to be here for least another 30. Relax and let your mother know. This surgery is major. People are different and funny. SHE IS YOUR MOM. Maybe print out some materials from the internet, a lil synopsis about the procedure and maybe show her a picture of someone who has had the surgery to show the end result.

Good luck to you. you will do find letting her know.

Curious about how open you guys are about having had surgery. Do you just tell anyone? Close friends/family only? My boyfriend had bypass surgery 2 years ago and every once in awhile he'll run into someone who is shocked and asks him how he lost all the weight-- he has no problem telling them it was surgery, even people he doesn't know well at all.

It's not that I think this is weird, I just don't know how comfortable I'll be answering that question with acquaintances. How do you guys usually go about it? What about telling others you're about to have surgery? Have you told coworkers etc. what kind of surgery it is when they ask? My mom doesn't even know yet so I'm kind of struggling with the delicacy of this a bit.