New here and just make the decision

[zephra 5]

I told a very good friend last night while chatting on Facebook (she is also very overweight and we always did a lot of dieting together). She asked a few questions and then went offline. I can't tell if it was because of the conversation or not. She said she had to get off and do school stuff but I just don't think that is it. It kind of hurt my feelings but when I told my parents, they were super supportive.

I just got reminded why I am doing this when I had to go to my sons school tonight and sit in those little desks that have the seat and desk together. I hate those.

[kalew 0]

I have had similar reactions from my overweight friends. One wanted my clothes, others it just made them feel bad about themselves. Makes them face the fact that they are also overweight and need to do something about it. When you start a diet your friends have seen you start many diets probably and are there to sabotage you too... We have eating buddies, just like alcoholics have drinking buddies.

[zephra 5]

I was thinking about how I would have reacted had it been her with the news and I admit I would be jealous. However, I would have wished her will and offered her any support she needed. I guess she needs a few days to let it marinate. At least Mom took it well!

I still have to tell my husbands family and do not look forward to their reaction. They have a daughter who is overweight and I see them making comments to her all the time about her eating and her weight. Yesterday they were giving her a hard time because I was eating a salad and she was eating ramon noodles. I got on to them and told them that if they wanted her to eat better, they should try supporting her instead of picking on her and then went into a tirade about how picking on her would just push her to eat more etc. I was pretty hot but I bet they wont be picking on her anymore in front of me.

I worry about how hard it would be for her if they just see me dropping weight so I think I need to tell them but they are newly moved from Pakistan and it will be harder to explain to them what is going on.

[pnw218 14]

I was thinking about how I would have reacted had it been her with the news and I admit I would be jealous. However, I would have wished her will and offered her any support she needed. I guess she needs a few days to let it marinate. At least Mom took it well!

I still have to tell my husbands family and do not look forward to their reaction. They have a daughter who is overweight and I see them making comments to her all the time about her eating and her weight. Yesterday they were giving her a hard time because I was eating a salad and she was eating ramon noodles. I got on to them and told them that if they wanted her to eat better, they should try supporting her instead of picking on her and then went into a tirade about how picking on her would just push her to eat more etc. I was pretty hot but I bet they wont be picking on her anymore in front of me.

I worry about how hard it would be for her if they just see me dropping weight so I think I need to tell them but they are newly moved from Pakistan and it will be harder to explain to them what is going on.

There is truly no reason to tell them "before" the surgery, especially if their response is going to upset you. I told three people before my surgery - my husband, my youngest daughter who still lives at home, and my sister. Everyone else got an email a couple of weeks after I got back. I wanted to wait until I had recovered from the surgery and lost a few pounds, so I would have something positive to share.

My 24 year old daughter is still mad at me. Maybe she will ease up at some point. And yes, she is 5'9" and slender. :confused1:

Now, over two months out, I tell almost everyone. I have decided that it is more important to share the sleeve surgery so that more people will benefit from it, than to be worried about what casual friends or aquaintances might say.

Also, for you in-laws, I would suggest printing a description of the surgery from a website that also includes a drawing of what is being done. I did that for my primary doc because she was familiar with the band and bypass, but not the sleeve : )

Congrats on your plans! I am so glad your parents were supportive!

Edited May 5, 2010 by pnw218

[zephra 5]

I have debated back and forth about telling them but I see them on a daily basis and it is traditional to offer guest food and tea. The tea thing is big...working on my pre-op weight loss means no tea and none of the food they offer. At some point it is going to start hurting feelings when I keep saying no and that will cause huge issues.

Also, since I will not be around for a few days at least, why will start to think it has something to do with them and that will start more hurt feelings. It is a cultural thing. So I am going to have to tell them sooner rather than later. I just can't see any way around it.

[CraftyChristie 62]

...Now, over two months out, I tell almost everyone. I have decided that it is more important to share the sleeve surgery so that more people will benefit from it, than to be worried about what casual friends or aquaintances might say....

:thumbup: That is totally awesome.... you just changed my whole perspective about being worried to tell people. You are so right. I am going to be open about it.

[CraftyChristie 62]

Zephra... welcome!! :thumbup:

[ouroborous 519]

You've made a good choice. I went through some of the same deliberations -- I was initially set on the lap band because it seemed "safer" (more reversible, etc.) But it turns out that it's not AS safe as the sleeve, and has WAY more complications. Plus, getting sleeved after getting banded is apparently way more complex than just getting sleeved, since you build up scar tissue with the band.

Of course, the fact that my surgery is tomorrow morning at 7:30 am (GULP!) makes me a bit anxious, too!

Hopefully, we'll both be very happy with our sleeves.

[kalew 0]

Good luck on your surgery tomorrow! Let us all know how you are doing. It's the beginning of a new way of life!

[zephra 5]

Best of luck with surgery tomorrow. Please keep us updated in your progress.