male only Sex drive?

[ouroborous 519]

I know this is an odd sort of question, but I was wondering if I could expect any uptick in libido after losing significant weight.

I have a medical condition that leads to low testosterone (which won't go away with weight loss), but I was wondering if anyone had noticed a better libido after WLS. For me, every little bit helps; I'm only 39, there should be SOME kind of interest there!

[Stacy160 201]

I don't know about men, but lots of gals report it. I'm 2+ months out and waiting impatiently for it! :laugh0:

[5150sleeve 0]

Lol! My sex drive has risen tremendously. I'm 25 and thought I was too young to not have a high sex drive before WLS but I knew my depression and low self esteem had a lot to do with it. Sometimes it was physically uncomfortable and I would be grossed out the way my stomach felt underneath my partner so I just wouldn't want to do it. I didn't want him touching me I didn't want him looking at me if and whenwe did go there it would be lights off under the covers type of deal. He's very happy with my new boost of energy and found confidence. I let him touch me rub me (I won't get too graphic lol but u get the picture). I think once u feel better about urself physically and emotionally it should really help. I actually FEEL sexy and that is truly important as far as sex is concerned. Hope it rises for u!!!!!!

Edited March 30, 2010 by 5150sleeve

[ouroborous 519]

Lol! My sex drive has risen tremendously. I'm 25 and thought I was too young to not have a high sex drive before WLS but I knew my depression and low self esteem had a lot to do with it. Sometimes it was physically uncomfortable and I would be grossed out the way my stomach felt underneath my partner so I just wouldn't want to do it. I didn't want him touching me I didn't want him looking at me if and whenwe did go there it would be lights off under the covers type of deal. He's very happy with my new boost of energy and found confidence. I let him touch me rub me (I won't get too graphic lol but u get the picture). I think once u feel better about urself physically and emotionally it should really help. I actually FEEL sexy and that is truly important as far as sex is concerned. Hope it rises for u!!!!!!

Thanks for this info. Psychology is a big part of low sex drive for me; at a BMI of 42, I just feel un-masculine and unsexy. Also, being this overweight means that sex feels like I'm going to have a heart attack. All of that (plus the other stuff I mentioned) leads to me just never really being that interested.

[5150sleeve 0]

Wow. A heart attack? I understand why you wouldn't be interested if it felt that bad! Although if you're working that hard sex can be a great workout. That's what my doctor always tells me :laugh0: The interest will come back and it'll be better than ever! :w00t: I still have 60 pounds I want to lose but I don't even feel my stomach as a bother like I used to, it's awesome! And the fact that I don't cover up my body with the covers anymore, I actually can look down at myself and go WOW! :lol0:

[pnw218 14]

Also, being this overweight means that sex feels like I'm going to have a heart attack. All of that (plus the other stuff I mentioned) leads to me just never really being that interested.

I used to be a call receiver for 911. Many people would probably be shocked by how many guys "die in the saddle" first thing in the morning. Especially if there are any other contributing factors beyond just age and prior heart conditions.

All guys should be more careful in the am. Take a walk around the house or something first to get the blood moving before they overwork that heart : )

[ouroborous 519]

I know -- with low testosterone, poor body image, and sex feeling like I was running a marathon, can you blame me for not being in the mood?? And of course, men are the ones who are expected to be "in the mood" all the time (according to society). I know that's kinda a myth but still, the times I've spent explaining to my S.O. that "it's not you, it's me"... and you know, it sounds like a cliche, but in my case, it was TRUE!

Just not having to have those uncomfortable middle-of-the-night "discussions" would be worth its weight in gold!

[ouroborous 519]

I used to be a call receiver for 911. Many people would probably be shocked by how many guys "die in the saddle" first thing in the morning. Especially if there are any other contributing factors beyond just age and prior heart conditions.

All guys should be more careful in the am. Take a walk around the house or something first to get the blood moving before they overwork that heart : )

I had a long discussion with an ex-girlfriend about how (usually) sex is MUCH more work for guys than for gals (for obvious reasons that I won't go into).

I know that there's an urban legend that it's impossible to die from sex, and I know that that's just a myth. Worrying about having a heart attack can really take the "mood" away, you know??

[ouroborous 519]

I did a little googling ("obesity testosterone") and it appears that overweight and obesity can dramatically reduce testosterone levels in men (especially as they creep towards middle age). Apparently the fat cells produce increased aromatization of testosterone to estrogen.

For men, this is *not* a good thing.

[Oregondaisy 2,020]

have you ever considered testosterone shots? I know my dad got them and said they made him feel better all around, and not just an increase in libido.

[ouroborous 519]

I used a transdermal cream for a while, but there are complications to using exogenous testosterone. Since the cream didn't help, and since I've been hoping that my natural testosterone would come back, I never revisited the topic.

If the WLS doesn't significantly improve my testosterone/libido, I may go back and talk to the doc about the cream again.

[thinoneday 445]

I would rather spend time at the beach, go travelling, and just snuggle up with my beloved and watch tv. . .sex to me is neither here nor there. . .couldn't care less. . . always have been like that even as a teen. . . no frustrations here though, happy as a clam! (are clams happy?) hehehehe. . .

[Tiffykins 673]

My poor husband can attest to the fact that my sex drive increased exponentially since losing weight. Plus, I'm in my early 30's, and he's in his late 20's, the poor man is just exhausted. I thought marrying a younger guy would kind of balance out the sex thing. But, no such luck. I'm ready to go everyday, he would be happy with 2-3 times a week. Our biggest issue is the hours he puts in on base with his job. So, I understand why his drive is not as high as mine is currently.

There is a study out of Europe(I could find it maybe once I get back home, I'm out of state until Sunday), that shows men with low testosterone can work out, strength training mainly, and it helps increase the natural hormone. So, once you start working out post-op, focus on building lean muscle mass, and burning fat, hopefully you'll see some positive results with your levels.

Edited March 31, 2010 by Tiffykins

[TexasT 99]

I used to suffer from low sex drive due to having a full hysterectomy at the age of 41, but being overweight certainly didn't help matters. I was at the point that if I NEVER had sex again I would't care. I moved and found a wonderful doctor that suggested the testosterone cream and it has worked wonders for me. It's a compound that a special pharmacy has to make for me, but it's well worth it and no more expensive than other prescriptions.

Sometimes I feel like a teenage boy (never was one, but dated plenty of them!) with my sex drive. My hubby is happy and our sex life is better than ever - and we've been together 30 yrs now. You might want to re-try the cream again after you lose a little more weight and see if it helps. I'm sure they would make the dose stronger for a man than what I use. Don't give up - we all deserve to feel great about that part of our lives. Having a better body image and being healthier overall will do nothing but help.

[FabBy50 0]

Boy can I relate to this topic! I have had a low sex drive for a few years now, and even the weight loss has not helped. Mine started after I went through chemo treatment, which sent me through menopause within 8 months. I cannot take testosterone because of the type of cancer I had, so I'm stuck. If I were you, I would grab that testosterone and hang on!! I miss the closeness that sex brings to a relationship.