OKAY - so my fiance won't register here but wanted me to post the same question he posted on Dr. Aceves website ... so here goes ....

"My fiancee is having her surgery on the 12th of this month. I am not worried about her having it, what I am concerned with is WHAT should be

MY role in all this? What can I do? What can I expect? I just read that she will be 'leaking' (pads?) I can and will change that. What I would like to know from all of you is what will be the the best way I can help her through the initial three weeks and beyond? Thanks

Please respond to me at my email, as I do not regularly visit these forums. You can email me at beardeditalian48@yahoo.com. Thank you all for your help and words of advice."

So there you have it -- Thank you from both of us.

I really don't think he'll need to do much... maybe cook for himself and clean the house the first week? The post-op recovery was relatively easy. Is he expecting you to be bedridden? LOL.

You guys need to talk and come to some agreements. Examples of things to talk about:

-Does he want to take your sleeving as an opportunity to change anything in his diet or exercise regime?

-Do you want him to be your food police or butt out?

-What types of food can he eat around you or bring into the house during each phase?

-How much help will you need around the house at first?

Some people ask their SO not to eat real food around them when they are on liquids, for example. I told my family that I'd probably be okay, but that if I wasn't, I'd ask them not to do that and I'd expect them to honor my request as it was only going to be for a short time. I also told them that anyone who was my food police would die.

But different couples will have different issues and answers. The main thing is to talk about it so you are on the same page. There is nothing worse than a guy who thinks he's being helpful, but is actually driving you insane, IMO.

My husband helped with the majority care of our 4 year old.

He did the cooking for them and made me soup.

Just by being there to help me was all I needed. The post op recovery is quite smooth. I din't have my bandages changed, they didn't leak, they freshened them before I left the hospital but after that they were ok.

I really don't think he'll need to do much... maybe cook for himself and clean the house the first week? The post-op recovery was relatively easy. Is he expecting you to be bedridden? LOL.

No, he doesn't expect me to be bedridden, I think it's more that he wants to know what verbal support he can give or what the wrong things he could say .. that type of help.

My husband helped with the majority care of our 4 year old.

He did the cooking for them and made me soup.

Just by being there to help me was all I needed. The post op recovery is quite smooth. I din't have my bandages changed, they didn't leak, they freshened them before I left the hospital but after that they were ok.

Thank goodness neither of us have any little ones at home ... except our two puppies and he's quite helpful with everything around the house already, so I am quite lucky. Thanks for the response.

My husband bought me ART LESSONS! I have always wanted to take art lessons, but have been too busy working. He felt since I am making lifestyle changes with eating food, I should indulge in even more lifestyle changes. I love that he chose something I would look forward to doing (rather than eating and thinking about bariatric surgery).

We will be splitting one meal when we go out in the future.

He has learned to make several lo cal sugar free Desserts in tiny portions.

We both plan to take walk in the mornings.

He often asks me how I'm feeling (physically and mentally about the surgery) with true compassion.

Sounds sappy I know, but I'm glad he's supportive in these small but encouraging ways!

We will be splitting one meal when we go out in the future.

He has learned to make several lo cal sugar free desserts in tiny portions.

We both plan to take walk in the mornings.

He often asks me how I'm feeling (physically and mentally about the surgery) with true compassion.

Sounds sappy I know, but I'm glad he's supportive in these small but encouraging ways!

I told him that our grocery bill would probably decrease as would eating out bills.

I'm hoping he will get up and exercise with me as he needs to lose weight too. So thank you for this idea.

Doesn't sound sappy to me at all - sounds like he truly loves and cares about you. Support ast home is very important. I'm gald we'll both have it.

No, he doesn't expect me to be bedridden, I think it's more that he wants to know what verbal support he can give or what the wrong things he could say .. that type of help.

Well, that's something only you can say. What would be the wrong thing for me, might be the wrong thing for you. :thumbup: Just think about what would annoy you and make sure he's clear what those are.

I just read that she will be 'leaking' (pads?) I can and will change that.

Leaking? From where? If from incisions, is that common? This info just keeps getting better and better.....:lol0:

the only leaking I can think of is the drainage from where the drain tube was. They remove the drainage tube before you leave the hospital but you have a small amount of drainage from the site for about a week or so post op. The bandage just needs to be changed until the site is healed completely.

Yeah, I didn't get the leaking (pads) part either.

Does having sleeve surgery cause TOM to come early or something? I am all done with that.

I think the biggest thing someone can do for someone who is on the post op diet is not to eat something you love in front of you. I about killed my bf when he was eating Tom & Jerry's fudge brownie ice cream in front of me. I definitely told him that was not allowed.

Leaking? From where? If from incisions, is that common? This info just keeps getting better and better.....

I think he meant that the one incision where the drain bag was, once the drain is removed, and covered with gauze will drain. It is so minimal that it's barely noticeable ... I'm not sure where he read that or what he thought when he did. It's no BIG DEAL at all.