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What not to say to somebody who is getting a band...



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Gotta share this one from church this past Sunday. This lady whom I like told me if I lose anymore weight I was going to fly away lol. Isn't that hilarious??? Omg too funny!!

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I am only going on my second week post op and already the constant judging of every thing I put in my mouth. Telling me what I need to be doing, what I am doing is wrong...blah blah blah.

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I am only going on my second week post op and already the constant judging of every thing I put in my mouth. Telling me what I need to be doing' date=' what I am doing is wrong...blah blah blah.[/quote']

I am with you!!!! Even my husband tries to tell me what I can and Can't eat. lol... Gotta love it!!

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You guys really made me laugh - thanks. My all time favourite is from my mum, she has said to me my whole life 'that would look great if you were 5 kilos smaller' REALLY?! She is super tiny and I outgrew her clothes at 9 yrs old. I am much taller, broader and finally gained the courage to tell her it would be nice if she just thought I looked pretty at any size.

As for my friends - I really don't think lap banding is a good idea - you just need to do......... Ummm thanks, I hadn't thought of any of those things, how insightful of you!!!!

I'm sure after my band my list will keep growing! Thanks for cheering me up :)

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For fear of cRaZY responses and not wanting to feel i had to "defend" my decision, I have ONLY told selected people: 1 sibling (out of 6) and maybe 5-6 friends.

So out of the FEW that i have shared with: Most have been very supportive. The first words out of one friends mouth was congratulations...(which i will treasure)!!

-initially my sister FREAKED but has come around and is very supportive (it was one of those: I know someone who got it and lost weight but gained it all back)... well that describes every diet I've been on ..lol

-then there was 1 friend who actually started naming diets and asking if I had tried it, and if not, I should try that FIRST!

.....R E A L L Y....... yes, she's thin)!

NEWS FLASH: most of us have struggled with our weight, our entire lives and its pretty fair to say have made COUNTLESS EFFORTS to drop weight; our decision to have a lap-band was not taken hastily-- trust us!!

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At least most of these comments sound positive or people trying in their own way to be supportive. I've lost 18kg since getting my band ( had a few complication along the way, but back on track). It has been almost 12 months since getting my band. My mother in law ( who needs to lose weight herself), still says I look as if I've barely lost anything, and am I sure I've lost anything at all. REALLY..... I know she is doing this to make herself feel better, as everyone else I know has noticed and its obvious as I've gone down a couple dress sizes. But it's so nasty.

I like the positive comments, 'your looking great'. 'Keep up the good work' etc, most people are supportive and understanding about the band. I have explained it is a tool, it doesn't do all the work for me but it is something I needed to do to help myself.

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Wow tricky being your mother-in-law. Laxative in her tea perhaps :D kidding! I Would be telling my partner to have a quiet word with her about how building your confidence will help you succeed.

With my own mum, we ended up having a screaming match a few years back where i told her that her comments that I would look better like this or that didn't actually do anything but make me retreat into myself more. If she bothered to make nice comments and build my self confidence I might actually start believing I'm attractive. Fortunately you can yell at your mum and she still loves you the next day - not so easy with the MIL :)

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WOW ! I never heard one negative comment ! I feel very lucky that I heard nothing bad, but if I had I would of just put it off to 'That's their problem, not mine ". I did read one funny quote that might help.... " A tiger doesn't lose sleep over the opinion of sheep ! " Oh, how true ! We are all "Tigers" when it comes to weightloss !

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I only told immediate family and one friend. Only encouragement is what I got. I didn't need negativity since I already had enough of that in my own head.

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"Your face is soooo skinny" - Thanks I am glad I could shrink my beach ball head down for you.

I know it was not meant to be insulting at all but it amazing how people speak without thinking.

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I get comments mostly about my face, too, and it drives me crazy. There are also some friends who will stare and watch me eat and then say things like, "You can eat that?" Yeah, watch me. I can eat a half gallon of chunky monkey too, if you don't knock it off!!! On a positive note, I have a newer friend who doesn't know I had surgery (met me "after") but has heard that I lost a bit of weight (doesn't know it was 160 pounds). He is super tall and I'm super short, so he calls me "cute stuff." That makes me feel so good; not that he's calling me cute as in pretty (part of a married couple/friends), but it makes me feel I dunno, cute? As in maybe on the little side instead of the NOT little side? I just like it. :)

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I have my own pet peeves, but I'll confess to the big screw up when I saw my friend (the one who encouraged me to get lapband) after not seeing her for YEARS... I did a double take and when I finally realized it was HER, I stupidly said: "where's the rest of you?!!!" I immediately felt convicted.... I guess she want upset, as she told me the truth right there and encouraged me to go to the seminar.

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When my mom realized I was now wearing clothes 3 sizes smaller than she wears' date=' her response was "oh great, now I'm the fattest one in the family"

Geesh!![/quote']

LoL I told a coworker I am getting banded sep 4th and he immediately said GREAT, now IM gonna be the fattest one left here and he ordered medifast and has been dieting alongside my pre-diet with me (lol). He was my lunch time food partner in crime, so I guess it's good on one hand, I just couldn't believe he said that lol

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LoL I told a coworker I am getting banded sep 4th and he immediately said GREAT, now IM gonna be the fattest one left here and he ordered medifast and has been dieting alongside my pre-diet with me (lol). He was my lunch time food partner in crime, so I guess it's good on one hand, I just couldn't believe he said that lol

Wow, some people just have no filter.

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This thread really cheers me, I have to say. Anything with "just" -- if you'd just go walking each day, if you just stop eating after 8PM, if you just go off wheat -- OMG, if you would JUST SHUT UP! I'm going to need some canned replies for when the weight starts coming off.

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
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      1. LeighaTR

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

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        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

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        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
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