Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

Telling Friends and Family about Getting Banded.



Recommended Posts

I am one who is very open about having the band. I have learned that, yea, people may have concerns or negative reactions, but its your life - if this is what is best for you, who cares what anyone else thinks. I have found that having support from my friends and family have helped me succeed on my weight loss journey. I have also found that most people are supportive of the decision and are very happy that I felt comfortable telling them. The more more educated people become about bariatric surgery, hopefully less negativity will occur. Good luck!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Did anyone not tell anybody? I'm in the process of getting approved and will get my band sometime this summer, but I've only told one person. She's a friend of mine and happened to say something about her aunt who was banded so I felt comfortable telling her. My mom is very unsupportive about anything regarding my weight loss, though, and my sister is a dietician and very judgmental. I don't want to tell them, and as of right now plan of having the surgery without telling anyone except for that one friend. She has expressed interest in the process of me getting it and has always been supportive. My insurance also requires me to stay overnight the day of my surgery, so I was planning on driving myself home from the hospital and just going on about my life. Has anyone else done this?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Did anyone not tell anybody? I'm in the process of getting approved and will get my band sometime this summer' date=' but I've only told one person. She's a friend of mine and happened to say something about her aunt who was banded so I felt comfortable telling her. My mom is very unsupportive about anything regarding my weight loss, though, and my sister is a dietician and very judgmental. I don't want to tell them, and as of right now plan of having the surgery without telling anyone except for that one friend. She has expressed interest in the process of me getting it and has always been supportive. My insurance also requires me to stay overnight the day of my surgery, so I was planning on driving myself home from the hospital and just going on about my life. Has anyone else done this?[/quote']

I do not suggest trying to drive yourself home the next day as you will be uncomfortable. It is worth telling at least one person who can be with you and help you home when you are discharged.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hello all. I am new here and I came across this thread. I am also having trouble telling my family about my up-coming wls. As of right now, only close friends know that I will be having the surgery in the next couple of months. I have brought it up as "what if" to my family and they responded very negatively and I would laugh so they didn't think I was serious. Even when our Governor Christie from NJ (whom I'm not a fan of) came out, my mother said with disgust that all he needed was Weight Watchers and to walk daily. In my head, I was like if it were only that simple. I would love to tell my family but I know they will judge me and see it as taking the "easy" way out. Maybe years down the line, I will be comfortable to tell them but for right now, I'm glad I have my friends, support group at my doctors and here as my support. Good luck to everyone :-)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

For me, most of everyone I know, knows I had it done. All my friends have been supportive in getting it, but when I said what I was getting done I also explained the procedure so there was no mis construed notions of expecting me to lose 40lbs in 1 month- which is not going to happen unless I get the gastric bypass.

The only one that wasn't super supportive was my brother, but I understood from his perspective and chose not to discuss it further after telling him. his reasoning is the people he knows on a daily basis that has got it done have either regretted it or had complications from it. But his 2 people go against my 10 people that I know and had great results with it. As I told my brother, no matter what surgery it is there is risk involved but at least with the lap band if I had complications (which I never have) it's removable. Also told him without knowing if those people actually followed the rules they are suppose to there is no way of knowing if his friends complications are due to their own fault.

I got banded November 2012 and don't regret it or regret telling anyone, they know I kick my butt at the gym 5-6x a week and that it just helps with the weight loss to have the band, but I've been blessed to not have folks assume the band is what is doing all of the work. I have yet to be in the green zone, but I am also down 72 lbs (now at 243 from 315). Once I am in the green zone finally I will be more interested to see how quickly weight falls off.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Tell the people you want to tell when you are ready. No... I don't keep it a secret, but there is a huge lack of understanding about the band that makes some people think it is easy easy way out. Nothing could be further from the truth. You will work danged hard to be successful. I would recommend that when you decide who to tell before surgery, take them with you to the seminars so that they can become educated as well. It is a personal decision and one that I am very happy with. Most people don't know about the band. My family and two closest friends plus a few thousand on LapBandTalk are the only ones! LOL!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I decided to only tell

My husband and mother. I didn't feel it was anyone else business. I was just banded 3 days ago so not sure if that will change once I loose the weight. I just didn't want to be a conversation piece or everything be about my band or how much I've lost. When my son is old enough to understand I plan to tell him also. But for now it's my business. As overweight people I'm sure most of us are embarrassed by the fact that we are "fat".... But hopefully not for long :)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Told my adult children and of course my wife was told. The wife was not totally on board but she learned that I was moving forward and surgery was to extend my life (hopefully) for the both of us!

As for my reasoning; will I guess it was fear of failure! Overweight people have failed dieting numerous times!

I also didn't want to go thru - Oh you ain't that heavy, you carry it well, just lose 10 pounds and you will be OK.

Which none of that is true and I needed to get my health in order - sleep apnea, high blood pressure, high triglyceride's, and arthritis. At 57 I needed to do it now!

Not anybodies business but I will determine if I will or won't tell as time go's by.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • Aunty Mamo

      Iʻm roughly 6 weeks post-op this morning and have begun to feel like a normal human, with a normal human body again. I started introducing solid foods and pill forms of medications/supplements a couple of weeks ago and it's really amazing to eat meals with my family again, despite the fact that my portions are so much smaller than theirs. 
      I live on the island of Oʻahu and spend a lot of time in the water- for exercise, for play,  and for spiritual & mental health. The day I had my month out appointment with my surgeon, I packed all my gear in my truck, anticipating his permission to get back in the ocean. The minute I walked out of that hospital I drove straight to the shore and got in that water. Hallelujah! My appointment was at 10 am. I didn't get home until after 5 pm. 
      I'm down 31 pounds since the day of surgery and 47 since my pre-op diet began, with that typical week long stall occurring at three weeks. I'm really starting to see some changes lately- some of my clothing is too big, some fits again. The most drastic changes I notice however are in my face. I've also noticed my endurance and flexibility increasing. I was really starting to be held up physically, and I'm so grateful that I'm seeing that turn around in such short order. 
      My general disposition lately is hopeful and motivated. The only thing that bugs me on a daily basis still is the way those supplements make my house smell. So stink! But I just bought a smell proof bag online that other people use to put their pot in. My house doesn't stink anymore. 
       
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • BeanitoDiego

      Oh yeah, something I wanted to rant about, a billing dispute that cropped up 3 months ago.
      Surgery was in August of 2023. A bill shows up for over $7,000 in January. WTF? I asks myself. I know that I jumped through all of the insurance hoops and verified this and triple checked that, as did the surgeon's office. All was set, and I paid all of the known costs before surgery.
      A looong story short, is that an assistant surgeon that was in the process of accepting money from my insurance company touched me while I was under anesthesia. That is what the bill was for. But hey, guess what? Some federal legislation was enacted last year to help patients out when they cannot consent to being touched by someone out of their insurance network. These types of bills fall under something called, "surprise billing," and you don't have to put up with it.
      https://www.cms.gov/nosurprises
      I had to make a lot of phone calls to both the surgeon's office and the insurance company and explain my rights and what the maximum out of pocket costs were that I could be liable for. Also had to remind them that it isn't my place to be taking care of all of this and that I was going to escalate things if they could not play nice with one another.
      Quick ending is that I don't have to pay that $7,000+. Advocate, advocate, advocate for yourself no matter how long it takes and learn more about this law if you are ever hit with a surprise bill.
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • BeanitoDiego

      Some days I feel like an infiltrator... I'm participating in society as a "thin" person. They have no idea that I haven't always been one of them! 🤣
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • ChunkCat

      Thank you everyone for your well wishes! I totally forgot I wrote an update here... I'm one week post op today. I gained 15 lbs in water weight overnight because they had to give me tons of fluids to bring my BP up after surgery! I stayed one night in the hospital. Everything has been fine except I seem to have picked up a bug while I was there and I've been running a low grade fever, coughing, and a sore throat. So I've been hydrating well and sleeping a ton. So far the Covid tests are negative.
      I haven't been able to advance my diet past purees. Everything I eat other than tofu makes me choke and feels like trying to swallow rocks. They warned me it would get worse before it gets better, so lets hope this is all normal. I have my follow up on Monday so we'll see. Living on shakes and soup again is not fun. I had enough of them the first time!! LOL 
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • BeanitoDiego

      Still purging all of the larger clothing. This morning, a shirt that I ADORED wearing ended up on top. Hard to let it go, but it was also hard to let go of those habits that also no longer serve my highest good. Onward and upward!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×