I know, and knew from the start that the band is "only a tool", "not a quick fix", "doesn't do all the work for you", and all that stuff that everyone says when someone is not losing weight. I am just really disappointed that after 20 months with the band, I am only down 22 lbs., and only 29 at my best. I've tried but to be honest, I really thought that once I hit "the green zone" it wouldn't be as hard. I mean why did I even do this? There has been no change on my mind. Only in my stomach. Obviously, my mind is pretty creative because it always finds a way to fulfill its desire for food, even when the band says "nope, no more of that". I mean really, did I think that my issues with food would instantly go away once I had the band? I guess I kind of did. Well, it didn't happen and I still struggle as much as ever with make right choices and not eating out of boredom or emotion. None of that was affected by the band. I get really bummed when I see my friend who had the sleeve a whole year after I did the band, down 80+ lbs and looking great, and I'm not really any better off than I ever was. Don't get me wrong. I'm extremely happy for her? She has struggled for as long as I've known her. Makes me regret this band sometimes even though in my heart I know that without it, I'd probably be up that 22–29 lbs instead of down. Still, I'm a good 60 lbs over my goal and not feeling any hope that I'll ever get any closer.

I'm not sure what I'm looking for here. Maybe I just needed to vent. I don't really need to hear all the typical lapband/weightloss suggestions that I read here. I know it all already. Make better choices. Its up to me. Start exercising. Yeah yeah. I wouldn't have ever needed the lapband if it were that easy.

Sorry for sounding so negative. I'm just really bummed today about this. Thanks letting me vent.

"and not eating out of boredom or emotion. "

I know you mention you're not ready to give the step for counseling or therapy, but I believe you need it. I needed too, I was sabotaging my band big time, and I found a lot of ways to cheat on it. Cookies, chips, chocolate and I realized that every time that I was eating more than my 4oz, or eating even when I was hungry it was because something was going on my life. (can't handle emotions, that well)

I know therapy is expensive, but you should give it a try, or at least join one of those OA (overeaters anonymous) groups. I joined one that is exclusively for people with bariatric surgery, it has been helpful, and I'm doing therapy as well.

However is you're not ready for any of those, you should at least do some reading, any self-help book could help, Wayne Dyer have helped me a lot. We can't change our body, if we don't change our mind. We're something new, we should live our lives as it.

Will be praying for you, I totally understand your struggles.

I track food and exercise using "Lose It". It is great, and I also keep a journal of sorts for the non-food, emotional, band-related stuff that goes on day to day. It is helpful to have these both to look back on.

Also helpful when I go to a MD appointment for a check-up , fill, or un-fill. I can ask questions and answer the MD questions based on my journals.

I am sorry for your struggle and i do understand, I didint see anything about measuring what you eat. Not just choosing the right foods but making sure you measure everything that goes in your mouth as well as track.

I realize that a lot of people have emotional issues with food, and maybe that is the problem. However, I feel that sometimes people (myself included here) just like food -- not the good for you, nutritious food -- but the bad for you, but tastes so good food. I can't have it in the house. If it's not here, I don't eat it, easy peasy! And the kids and the hubby don't need it either, so don't let them pull the "why do we have to suffer too" if you don't have junk food in the house. Just my two cents

Keep posting and venting!!

I'm sorry for your struggles. You say you don't track your food but you know you eat too much.

Try tracking it. It helps me soooo much. I started over 400 pounds, talk about food addiction huh??? Tracking is my A#1 tool. Seriously, when you plug in a small blizzard and it totals more calories than 3 meals.... you really don't want to eat one again. There is something about those calories staring back at you. I ate a blizzard one day, we had been to the lake and the family stopped. When I got home and logged it, you could have picked me up off the floor. I'm not saying I would never eat one again, but I would never just stop for one as a treat, it would have to be a special occassion.

Logging really teaches you a lot, I find it so beneficial. It has really really helped me make better decisions. Try it, what have you got to lose?

I am wishing you all the best, it is a real struggle at times.

You can do this.

i have no major pearls of wisdom for you other than find an OA group so you have people to talk to about it, or even just to make you go somewhere so you aren't sitting around your house with food tempting you. My sister is 10 years sober and still goes to meetings 3 times per week. She says it keeps her accountable. I am a food addict - both in the emotiional sense and just because food tastes so good. Instead of OA, in my surgery package I got the weight counselor at my doctor package so I have a guy who is available all day every day to listen to me b***h if I need to.

I know that it's hard, but we are all here for you and there are lots of support groups that don't cost money out there that can help. The only thing stopping you from going to them is you. It may feel a bit awkward, but sometimes in life you gotta just talk it out! You may even make some friends who you can work through dieting together with.

I wish you the very very best. <3

No I don't track, and actually I'm positive I take in more calories than I should. Meals are not usually the problem for me. I don't eat much at meals. I just don't feel satisfied and so I end up looking for easier things to eat in between meals.

It's important to give some thought to what makes you feel "satisfied". There's physical satiety and then there's emotional, sensory, and mental satiety. I had overeaten, and eaten in response to cues that had nothing to do with physical hunger, for so long that it took me a while to understand that the band only helps with physical satiety. As you said, the band is around your stomach, not your mind.

I agree with Missy that some counseling could help. Also, attending Overeaters Anonymous and/or food Addicts Anonymous meetings could help. Go to oa.org for more info.

If you do not measure or track you really have NO idea what you are taking in. I will say again the nutritionist told me that those who track lose twice as much as those who don't. I dont want to sound mean but it seem a like you know what to do. Some times you just have t jump in. Take ownership for your behavior and get back on track. I am talking from experience and I am setting an example.

I feel for you, I really, really do.

I got banded in 07, took it seriously for about a year, then the experience that you are having realy hit me hard. I became disillusioned, got an unfill and spent the last 4 years eating like I had no band at all. I gained some weight during that time. 3 years ago I was hooked up to my umpteenth therapist, and we hit it off big time! 4 or 5 months ago, I realized that I was in a BAD way and needed to change that. We discussed my food addiction, which I will always have, and I decided to go back to my WLS clinic and start over.

They took me back with open arms, re-taught me, gave me a teeny weeny fill and I joined this site. I am now 25-30 pounds lighter (I forgot what my last weigh in was, oops!) , struggling my way through and never giving up. I was once told that if I can't do it (lose weight/change lifestyle) for myself (I don't like myself much)...then do it for someone who loves you. Well, I whittled that down to my Dad, my Husband and all the people here on LBT. I do it for them, until I can do it for myself. "Fake it till you make it."

I tell you this because I was disappointed with my life and the decisions I made after being banded. I was responsible for my weight, ie. fate. I hate to see you feel the way you do, and eat the way you do. You're a bright girl, you will make your own decisions, I just hope someone's words will make sense to you, you take action and become a successful Bandster.

I'm rooting for you from afar, and I wish you all the self love you can dream of!

Polly

I'm sorry for your struggles. You say you don't track your food but you know you eat too much.

Try tracking it. It helps me soooo much. I started over 400 pounds, talk about food addiction huh??? Tracking is my A#1 tool. Seriously, when you plug in a small blizzard and it totals more calories than 3 meals.... you really don't want to eat one again. There is something about those calories staring back at you. I ate a blizzard one day, we had been to the lake and the family stopped. When I got home and logged it, you could have picked me up off the floor. I'm not saying I would never eat one again, but I would never just stop for one as a treat, it would have to be a special occassion.

Logging really teaches you a lot, I find it so beneficial. It has really really helped me make better decisions. Try it, what have you got to lose?

I am wishing you all the best, it is a real struggle at times.

You can do this.

I so agree with you! I'm not in this very long, but I nearly fell off the chair when I started measuring and logging. The amount of calories in some food is actually insane! I get such a feeling of personal satisfaction when my fitness pal says "Lindsay completed her log for today and was under her calorie goal!" It's like I beat the game :-)

If you really want to have a change in your life and most likely weight too . . . sounds like you need toughen up and head for that counseling chair. You will be surprised how much we hold inside and let bother us for years. You said you could not afford it I understand that but have you checked? Some therapist work on a sliding scale and some even offer free service.

You stated "you don't want to go there" that makes me think that you know inside something needs to be fixed. Why would you spend all the time and money to have this surgery but not want to fix yourself on the inside? Counseling lets you let out all the stored up problems, pain, dissappointment, and shame that some feel. I did 3 years of counseling and loved it. Sometimes I left there swearing I would never go back, or saying to myself "How dare her say that" only to get home and a few hours later it hit me wow thats what she meant.

You also said you didn't want your family to know, who is going to tell them? Probably you after you unload whats bothering you. You might be handing out business cards to those you love. It is scary facing life's problems and even harder to carry them around inside your mind and heart. I hope you will just check into it and see if it is something you can do. I would rather be fat than to load back up all those thoughts and feeling I carried around for years. I too will be praying for you.

cheri

I just want to say, I am really surprised and touched at all of your sincere and genuine responses. I really did not expect such genuine replies to my ranting. I guess I expected more "get over it and do what you know you have to" replies.

It really makes me feel like there truly is real support here and I might just utilize it more often.

I really needed to hear all of your words of advice and understanding. I agree that my problems with food are not physical. I really feel relaxed when I eat. My life is full and overflowing with 5 girls, 2 grandsons, and caring for my elderly mom, and two inlaws, and homeschooling full time. There is never time for me. Not meaning to complain, just a fact. There are only so many hours in a day.

By the end of the day, which is when I do most of my eating, I am zonked, and just want to relax. Nothing else I've tried provides that instant relaxation that the feeling of full does. I guess I had hoped the band would sustain me long enough to get past the desire to keep going back for more during the evening.

I'm sure counseling wouldn't hurt, and I've done counseling before with a daughter for a different issue so I know how it works. I just don't want to go that way right now. Maybe in the future.

As far as tracking and measuring goes, I've done it in the past enough to know how much I'm taking in. Way too much. I've used Myfitness Pal and liked it too. I've done it all. I'm just a tough but to crack. I just can't get my mind right. I'm just tired of the struggle. I want to stop having to think about the food ever second of the day. I want to just eat to survive and move on and not eat for any other reason. It just doesn't seem possible to do. Food seems to always be a lure for me.

I know none of you can change my way of thinking or fix this for me, but I hope you know that the fact that you took the time to respond to my whining with genuine understand and care really means the world to me. You all are great. Thank you.

You have a lot of peoplr who care for you and that you care for in some way. You HAVE to make time. Even if its just 5 or 10 min several times a day. It may hurt to do so but its necessary. If you dont take care of you there wont be a you to take care of them.

Ive learned that people should receive their "flowers" while they are still here..... take care..

Sent from my SAMSUNG GALAXY SII Skyrocket using LapBandTalk

Wow you sure have a lot going on. May be think of your band journey as a way of taking time for just you. Measure, chew and chat. Good luck and know you deserve it and you know what to do.